7 Minutes
by startswithhope
Summary: Modern AU - "We've been nothing but friends for our whole lives but then we played seven minutes in heaven on a dare and now I think I might actually be in love with you." Expect a sexy spin on the best friends secretly in love with each other trope...
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: Moving this over from tumblr to prepare for additional chapters to come… Hope to have chapter 2 up this week!_

* * *

"Killian."

Catcalls and whoops fill the already loud living room as Killian is jolted from his slightly disinterested state to sudden, complete, focused attention at the sound of Emma's voice saying his name.

Emma is standing in front of the open closet, her shaky hand crumpling the piece of paper that she has just fished out of the bowl Ruby is holding up in front of her. Her face is beet red, most likely due to embarrassment and _possibly_ the amount of alcohol that has been flowing since they arrived together a few hours ago.

"Seriously?"

Emma's eyes shoot to his as soon as the word has left his mouth, her beautiful lips turning downwards into a slight frown, her hurt barely masked before she looks away. Realizing that she has misunderstood his reaction, he quickly scrambles from the couch to her side, grasping her elbow lightly to draw her attention back to him.

"Sorry, love, not complaining, just surprised. What are the odds?"

He watches her frown turn back into a slight smile before she reaches up to pull his hand from behind his ear, stopping him from scratching himself raw.

"C'mon Sailor, let's get this over with."

And with that, she is hauling him into the open closet, the door slamming behind them by Ruby with force _and a rather loud chuckle_. His mouth is full of someone's wool coat and he's not quite sure if it is Emma that is pressed against his groin or a vacuum cleaner, his only confident contact in the blackness being the warmth of her palm in his.

"Swan, I'm going to reach out to get my bearings. I apologize in advance if I get fresh on accident."

Her sweet laugh does things to him, things that if she wasn't his best friend in the world, he might just act on. But she is, and he respects that, his longing for her a long held secret he keeps from her in silence every day. But now, he finds himself in a most precarious situation, groping around in the dark with the woman who haunts his more explicit dreams, playing a game fit for drunken teenagers.

"I think the point of 7 Minutes in Heaven _is_ to get fresh, Killian."

The flirtatious banter isn't unexpected, but it still manages to spark the flame of hope inside of him that perhaps he isn't alone in his yearnings. They've always been this way, pushing and pulling, but never crossing that unspoken line that he's not sure if either of them actually ever wanted drawn in the first place. His hand makes contact with what feels like her waist and he pulls her forward, her nose suddenly bumping his in the tight space, his breath catching when she doesn't make a move to step back.

"Love, I'm well aware of the rules of this ridiculous game. I assumed you…"

Whatever was about to come rambling from his mouth is silenced when he feels her hands grip his shirt, pulling him forward as her lips crash into his with unexpected force. He feels her body stiffen under his hands, as if her actions are as surprising to her as they are to him, her lips turning suddenly tentative against his. Unwilling to think further than this moment, he takes control, his hand moving from her waist to tangle in her low ponytail, angling her head so he can deepen the kiss and make clear his opinion on where she was beginning to lead them. His response breaks the tension in her and her body begins to melt against his, her breasts pressing deliciously against his chest as her arms move to circle around his neck. The groan that escapes his lips when her fingernails begin lightly scratching his scalp is loud in the quiet closet, making him want to hear something from her, any sound to know that she is enjoying this as much as he is. He draws back from her mouth, lightly pulling her bottom lip between his teeth as he walks them forward, pressing her against the back of the closet door with the full length of his body. His tongue slips between her lips when her mouth opens in surprise, the taste of her, _sweet rum and cinnamon_ , careening his senses into overdrive. The feel of her soft curls under his fingers, the warmth heat of her seeping into his skin everywhere they touch, it's all too much and not enough at the same time. The soft moan that escapes her lips when his palm makes contact with the skin of her lower back underneath her sweater the sweetest sound he has ever heard, his pants tightening uncomfortably as his control slips further from his grasp.

She pulls back to take a breath and for a moment he thinks she is coming to her senses, expecting her to push him away. He realizes she is just as far gone as he is when her hands slide from his neck and down his back, anchoring in his back jean pockets as she pulls him closer to her against the door. The slide of her center against the zipper of his jeans is so electric that he loses his balance, his forehead coming to rest against hers as his breath comes out in short pants, hands grasping her hips to pull her flush against him once again.

"Emma, we…"

She closes the distance and kisses him again, slower, softer, but infinitely more passionate, her hips rocking against his in a painfully slow rhythm. The wet slide of her tongue as she moves to trace his jaw quickly replaces any previous moment he has ever experienced as the most erotic on record, her teeth nipping lightly on his earlobe before he feels her breath come out in a rush.

"Don't think, Killian, just feel."

His grip on her hips tightens to the point where he is sure she will find little bruises there tomorrow, before sliding down and around to lift her thighs around his waist.

"As you wish."

All that follows is a blur of delicious friction, her hands urging him faster, harder, his legs already beginning to shake from the jolts of pleasure spreading from where their bodies are connected. His mouth finds the soft skin of her throat, the primal need to mark her overwhelming as his lips claim what he desperately wants to be his. Her head falls back roughly against the door, the muffled bang startling him into dim awareness, his eyes lifting and settling on her face. The look of pleasure he sees there almost causes his knees to buckle. Her eyes open slowly when he stops moving, her hands moving to urge him forward again as she locks him in her gaze, emotions swirling in her irises that he doesn't dare try to comprehend.

Just as he is leaning forward to capture her lips again the world spins out from under their feet. He is suddenly crashing forward, bracing himself and the back of her head at the last second, barely avoiding crushing her under his full weight on the carpeted floor. She is dazed as she looks up from him ( _clearly not just from the fall)_. Her eyes shift from his to something above them and their surroundings suddenly come into clear focus, the laughter and applause loud to his ears after the intimacy of the confines of the closet. Ruby's red leather clad ankle comes into view as she leans down, a knowing smirk curving her dark painted lips.

"Sorry guys, didn't know you were against the door."

Annoyed at the interruption, Killian rolls his eyes, shifting his attention back to Emma still sprawled out beneath him.

"You okay, Swan?"

She blinks a few times, her hand clenching his waist for a moment before she drops it to the floor.

"I'm fine."

He feels her shift beneath him, spurring him into action, leveraging himself off of her so he can help her up. By the time he's on his feet she is already halfway up herself, ignoring the hand he has reached out to her, redness creeping up her neck as embarrassment takes over the moment. Knowing that all of their friends are now watching them like hawks, he tentatively places his hand on her lower back, hoping she will let him lead her from the living room to somewhere more private.

She freezes at his touch, his hand dropping immediately back to his side as he looks at her, waiting for some sort of explanation.

"Swan?"

"Uh…I'll be right back. Need to find the restroom."

Before he can respond, she is gone. Her ability to run from emotional situations her greatest magic trick, one he has grown to loathe over the years. Ruby catches his eye, sending him a sympathetic smile before turning back to the crowd, calling up the next victim in their childish party game. After spending 10 minutes searching the house he ascertains that Emma has left, Mary Margaret's car no longer in the driveway, obviously coerced into playing getaway driver. Feeling slightly defeated and confused, he grabs his keys from the bowl at the door and makes his own exit.

Later that night, after spending a good hour composing and deleting texts he never sends, he finally admits he doesn't really know what to say to her yet or even what she wants to hear. He makes his way into his bedroom, peeling off his shirt that still smells of her perfume, his jeans landing upside down on the chair in his haste to get into bed and hopefully replay those 7 seven minutes over and over in his dreams. He reaches down when he sees the piece of paper that has fallen from his back pocket, immediately recognizing it as the scrap Emma had crumpled in her hand right before they found their way inside of the closet.

As he unfurls the creases and folds in the paper, his eyes widen at the name scribbled in Ruby's signature blocky handwriting.

 **VICTOR**

"Bloody hell!"


	2. morning after

_A/N - Sorry for the slightly shorter chapter. As you will see, I'm switching back and forth from Killian and Emma's POV with each chapter, and I need what comes after this to be from Killian's POV. Enjoy!_

* * *

"Emma…"

His voice is muted, spoken roughly into the crease of her neck and shoulder before his mouth resumes its torture of her with gentle sucks and kisses to her now tender skin. Her hips jut forward, molding herself against the hard heat of him once again, urging him to move with her and chase the climax she knows they both are teetering on the verge of. Her body begins to feel like molten liquid beneath his touch as he reciprocates with a deep grind, her hands blindly reaching for his head to drag his mouth back to hers.

The kiss is far from gentle; her teeth tugging at his lips until her tongue is granted entrance, tangling with his as passion breaks through her restraint. She groans against his mouth when he moves to unwrap her leg from his waist, confusion by his retreat quickly replaced by anticipation when she feels his fingers working the button of her jeans open. His mouth tears from hers as his gaze shifts downwards, his fingers lowering her zipper slowly, giving her ample _(and unnecessary)_ time to stop him if she were so inclined. Her flutter of release begins to build with the mere brush of the pads of his fingers against her over the cotton of her panties, heat blossoming as he seeks and presses against her already over stimulated center.

"Killian….oh, god…"

His mouth finds hers, swallowing her cry of release as he cups her, coaxing her to ride out her pleasure against his palm as she wantonly pushes against his hand. Angling his head to deepen the kiss, he slides his hand around her hip to cup her ass inside her jeans, dragging her hips forward until she can feel his erection throbbing against her through his jeans.

"Emma. Emma, love."

"Yes, Killian…"

"Swan, are you awake?"

Shock runs through her as her eyes shoot open, blurredly focusing on the man who has just given her the most intense orgasm of her life ( _or so she thought)_ casually perched on the edge of her bed looking down at her with a knowing glint behind his eyes. Consciousness slowly sets in and she registers how twisted she is in her sheets, her nipples sensitive and at full attention under her thin t-shirt ( _his shirt actually_ ) prompting her to grab her blanket and pull it up to her neck.

"What the fuck, Killian?"

"Coffee?"

He lifts the to go cup with steam escaping the lid towards her with a wink, waiting until she wrenches her hand free from her blanket to take it from him before settling back against the headboard. Using the coffee as an excuse to give herself a few more moments to compose herself, she lifts the lid and blows, refusing to look him in the eye. The gentle burn of the liquid as it slides down her throat helps lift the last of the fog from her dream, embarrassment and she can admit, _regret_ , beginning to settle in its place.

"I do believe gratitude is in order now, love."

She peeks at him over the rim of her cup, a challenging look in his eye as he slowly taps his pointer finger against his lower lip.

"In your dreams, Jones."

"Oh, _not anymore_ , Swan."

Heat flushes her cheeks as she looks away, his bold reference to their activities last night making it blatantly obvious why he is here. He wants to talk about it, _now_. Running away is harder when he's firmly planted in her escape route.

Perhaps she can change the subject, _at least for a moment…_

"How did you get in here, anyway?"

His annoyance at her evasiveness is obvious when he doesn't attempt to hide his exasperated sigh before answering her.

"Swan. You know I have a key."

She gave it to him years ago, wanting him to know he could come and go as he pleases, which he does on a fairly regular basis.

"Yeah, I know."

"If you would be so kind, I would greatly enjoy your company in the kitchen for breakfast."

The bed shifts as he rises to his feet, his hand moving to scratch behind his ear as he looks down at her as he waits for a response. She can't help but smile at his obvious nervous tick, her stomach settling slightly knowing that despite his earlier bravado, he may be just as off kilter this morning as she is.

"Give me a few minutes. I'll be right out."

His eyes warm to a softer blue as he smiles down at her before nodding his head slightly and shutting her bedroom door behind him. She looks down at the cup in her hand, fingers nervously picking at the plastic lid in her hand as she tries to figure out what she will say to him when she finds the courage to get out of bed and join him. She knows what she can't say. She can't tell him that she's been dreaming of kissing him since the moment they met and she orchestrated events last night to give her an excuse to act that fantasy out. He can't find out that those 7 minutes were by far the most pleasurable of her life. And he definitely can't know that she's convinced that he's the only man she will ever truly love. If she lets him in, _all the way in_ to her heart, she'll only ruin it. It's what she does and just _can't_ with him. She can't give him the opportunity to let her down.

Looking down at the coffee, she sighs before gulping down the rest of it, hoping the caffeine will give her the energy she needs to stop this freight train from crashing through the most important relationship of her life. She tosses the blankets back and slides from the mattress, searching the floor for her bra as she tugs her yoga pants up her legs. Spying the black lace on foot of her bed, she blushes at the knowledge that he obviously got a good view of it a few minutes ago, another level reached on her seemingly endless embarrassment scale.

She mutters to herself as she works the bra on under her t-shirt. "Get a grip, Emma."

Turning towards the mirror above her dresser, she runs her finger under her eyes to remove the smudged eyeliner she didn't remove last night before bed. The ponytail in her hair is a mess, so she tugs the holder out and lets her rumpled curls fall down her back. Knowing her eyes won't be able to handle contacts this morning she grabs her glasses, ignoring the fact that she knows how much Killian loves seeing her in the thick black frames.

She takes a deep breath and straightens her spine before opening her bedroom door; preparing to face the conversation she knew one day would come, hoping she'll still have Killian as her best friend at the end of it.


	3. the talk

The splash of cold water on his skin is not doing its job of stopping the images of Emma's dream state from flashing behind his tightly closed eyelids. The way her body bowed beneath her sheets, the light sheen of sweat glistening in the space between her collarbones, and above all, the way his name escaped breathlessly from her lips. No matter what is about to transpire between them in the next few moments, he can take some solace in the knowledge that she obviously wants him, at least unconsciously.

Shutting off the water in the sink, he shakes the water droplets from his fingers before reaching for the dish towel to dry his face. He wonders how long it will be before Emma joins him in the kitchen, knowing her inevitable internal freak-out happening behind her bedroom door could go on for a while. Perhaps surprising her in her bedroom was a bit aggressive, but he really needs to find some truth with her this morning if they have any chance of figuring out where to go from here. His sleepless night brought clarity to his mind and a determination to stop stepping around what he feels for her and put his cards on the table, as they say. The fear that this will all blow up in his face is sitting in a nervous ball in his belly, a solemn reminder of how well he knows Emma and her firm belief that love only leads to loss.

"Hey."

Spinning around at the sound of her voice he sends the dishrag flying, toppling the top row of her spice rack ( _that he bought, his attempt to further her culinary experience beyond pop tarts and grilled cheese a spectacular failure_ ) with a loud crash.

 _Get a grip, Jones._

"Sorry love, you startled me."

"Just returning the favor."

He tries not to take her teasing as a good sign, or the fact that she's wearing his t-shirt, the one with NAVY written across the front that he slipped into her laundry once and she now refuses to give back. Her hair looks like a goddamn golden curtain, cascading down her back in soft curls, begging for him to close the distance between them and bury his fingers deep into the soft strands. He groans inwardly at the knowledge of just how gone for her he is, reluctantly forcing himself to look away and shift his focus to the refrigerator before he does something rash.

"So, do you have anything in here that would pass as breakfast?"

"There should be some eggs and I think we had peppers left over from dinner the other night."

Opening the door, he spies the eggs and the peppers, along with some crumbled feta.

'Aye, looks like omelets are on the menu."

Setting the ingredients on the counter, he leans down to grab the pan from the drawer under her stove, his knowledge of where things are in her kitchen stronger than hers on most days. Without looking as he stands, he turns to set the pan down and finds himself suddenly pressed firmly against Emma's back. His free hand grips her waist reflexively, trying to stop his momentum before he crushes her against the counter. The pepper in her hand drops as she grips the granite, her body tense against his, he hopes just due to the shock of the moment.

"Sorry, Swan."

He can feel her deep breaths against his chest, his senses hyper aware of every inch of contact currently shared between them as he waits for her response.

"It's ok, I kinda snuck up on you. I thought I could help?"

After setting the pan down on the stove he leans back from her, _marginally_ , his hand still at her waist as he reaches for the pepper she dropped to hand it back to her. Her fingers brush his during the exchange and she peers over her shoulder at him, her expression behind her thick glasses hard to read, not giving him any clues as to what he should do next. Focusing briefly on her mouth, he catches her tongue peeking out to wet her lips, memories of the taste of her causing his heart to race wildly in his chest. Just as he is beginning to lean towards her she turns her head, her focus firmly back on the pepper as she reaches for the knife from the block.

"I'll cut, you cook."

 _Perhaps she doesn't need space to run after all._

Dropping his hand from her waist, he takes a step back to find his composure before he pushes her so far behind her walls that she'll never emerge.

"Aye, Captain."

They settle into a well-practiced dance, their ability to work silently in tandem one of the many things he cherishes about their relationship and, in his mind, further proof that they were meant to find one another. Lingering glances and contemplative silences aside, the tension between them begins to feel less on the verge of breaking as each minute passes.

But now, sitting side by side at her counter with their eggs and fresh coffee, he can't ignore the pull in his gut telling him to stop stalling and start the conversation he came here for.

 _It's now or never, he supposes._

"So, about last night..."

The sound of her fork clattering against her plate registers her surprise, his directness catching her off guard as he was hoping it would. She reaches for her coffee and he sees a slight shake to her hand as she raises the mug to her lips. Looking over at him briefly before shifting her gaze back to her mug, she sets it back down and picks her fork back up from her plate.

"It was just a kiss."

Her nonchalance stings his pride, but his resolve remains intact as he braces himself for the battle ahead.

"Really, Swan? It seemed like a bit more than that to me."

He watches as she rises from her stool, her hand grasping her plate so tightly that he can see her knuckles turn white from the force. He reaches his hand towards her and she flinches slightly, causing his heart to ache for this beautiful lost girl so desperately in need of love.

"I can't do this, Killian."

Her voice is soft and broken, sounding on the verge of tears as she releases her hold on the plate and tries to walk past him back into the kitchen. His hand on her arm stops her, her eyes immediately shifting to her feet as she refuses to look at him.

"Emma, we have to do this. I can't ignore the way I feel anymore."

Standing, he steps closer to her, his fingers lifting her chin until she is forced to meet his eyes, the panic he sees in her expression making him want to wrap her in his arms and hold her.

"Why are you so scared of this? Of me? You have to know that I would never hurt you, Swan."

A single tear escapes and slides down her cheek and he reaches for her glasses, pulling them from her face so he can see her eyes more clearly. The last ounce of her control breaks suddenly, tears flowing freely now as she shakes her head and tries to look away.

"I'll be the one to hurt you."

Unable to see her in pain without comforting her, he pulls her into his arms, holding her head against his chest as he slowly rocks her like a child. She clings to his shirt for a moment before snaking her arms around his back, melting into his embrace and tucking her nose against his throat as she continues to cry. He runs his fingers through her hair, soothing her with his touch while he searches for the right words to say, not sure if any even exist. Her breathing eventually calms and she shifts against him, her lips brushing lightly against his neck as she lifts her head to look up at him.

"Killian, I can't lose you."

His breath catches in his throat at the emotion in her voice, the depth of her feelings for him evident by the desperation behind her eyes.

"You'll never lose me, Emma."

Closing his eyes, he leans in and lightly brushes his lips against hers, once, twice, tasting the salt of her tears with each gentle touch. Moving to kiss the apple of her cheeks, he ends his path at her forehead, pressing his lips to her skin before resting his head lightly against hers.

"I need you to tell me what you want, what you need."

The flutter of her fingers as she reaches up to slowly trace the scar on his cheek sends a shiver down his spine, hope surging through his veins at her unexpected touch. She takes a deep breath before leaning back, her eyes searching his as she seems to wrestle with what she wants to say. After a long moment her hand moves from his cheek to wrap around his neck, her eyes closing as she leans forward again to rest against his forehead.

"Be patient with me."

It's not a clear answer, but he understands her just the same. She's not running, but she's not ready yet, either. In this first battle in the war of loving Emma Swan, he'll count this as a win.

"I'm in this for the long haul, love."

"Good."


	4. are we okay?

She knows she should pull away from him, but it feels so good wrapped up in his arms and she's honestly not sure what will happen when this moment breaks. His determination to not let her sidestep her feelings has her off balance, all previous intentions of not letting this happen having crumbled with each soothing touch of his lips as he promised to be patient. Leaning her head back slightly from his, she forces herself to look him and despite the lack of her glasses making it a bit hard to focus, she can still see the huge smile on his face. _God she loves him._

"Are we okay?"

Her voice is still a bit shaky from her tears, but she hopes it doesn't sound as full of fear as it did before.

He reaches up to brush the wet path still left from her tears from her cheeks before he is pushing her glasses back in place, goosebumps rising under her skin at the feel of his fingers as they tuck a stray curl behind her ear.

"Aye, Swan. Nothing has to change…until you want it to."

Thankful for the clarity of her lenses, she can see the truth behind his eyes and she swears she can feel a piece of armor falling from around her heart. They _(she)_ may have a way to go, but if anyone can break all the way through, it will be Killian.

She forces herself from his embrace, her somewhat awkward step back causing her hip to bump into her stool. Reaching down to catch it before it topples, she can't help but laugh as she feels some of the tension release in her belly. His soft chuckle from beside her helps, his sarcastic "Graceful, Swan" exactly what she needs to hear from him to know they'll be okay.

"Gimme a break, I've only had two cups of coffee. You know I need at least three before I'm fully functioning."

"Aye, let me get another pot brewing before I go."

She collects their plates and follows him into the kitchen, her gut churning again at his words.

'You're leaving?"

"I have to be at the hospital at noon. Double shift ahead for me, unfortunately."

 _Calm down, Emma. He promised._

"God, I don't know where you find the energy. I fully intend to collapse on the couch as soon as you leave and not move for the rest of the day."

"Duty calls, love."

Having served in the Navy for four years after college, Killian left active duty to work at the Veterans Hospital as a physical therapist. He found his calling taking care of the wounded soldiers, helping them find their lives again by using his strength to help them find theirs. He was a natural, the nurses and patients dubbing him "The Captain" as he always led with a firm hand, never letting anyone in his charge fail him, or themselves. It doesn't escape her knowledge that he's been there for her in the same way, and will likely be the one to steer them through this next phase in their relationship.

"I'll crash tomorrow, for sure. Didn't get much sleep last night myself."

He's leaning against the counter by the sink now, waggling his eyebrows ridiculously at her with his arms crossed against his chest. She _barely_ resists the urge to cross over and kiss that ridiculous expression right off of his face.

Rolling her eyes at him instead, she moves to stand next to him to clear the food off their plates into the garbage disposal. He smells too good and he's way too close, so she hip checks him lightly to give herself some personal space.

"Okay, Jones, get out of here. I have a date with my couch and you need to get to work."

"So bossy, Swan…"

She smiles at the humor behind his words and can't help the blush when his hand brushes her waist lightly before he makes his exit from the kitchen. The jangle of his keys as he retrieves them from the hook on the wall is so familiar, his presence in her home so natural that she knows if she screws this up she will never truly feel whole again. That thought causes panic to rise in her chest.

"Killian!"

His head pops into the doorway, concern furrowing his brows, the desperation in her voice obviously having registered to him.

"Taco Tuesday?"

His expression turns to one of tenderness and understanding, but he doesn't cross back to her, just smiles his best Killian Jones smile.

"Of course."

With a quick wink he turns and she hears the door shut softly behind him, her body collapsing against the sink the second she knows she is alone. She presses her fingers against her eyes under her glasses, frustration at herself bringing her to the verge of tears once again. Everything she has never allowed herself to want is being offered to her, love and comfort, someone wanting to give her more than she ever thought she deserved waiting for her. Not just someone, _Killian_. She needs to find a way to get past her shit before he decides that she really isn't worth the wait.

The loud bang on her door almost causes her to poke herself in the eye as she flinches. Knowing Killian would just use his key, she braces herself for whoever it might be as she really isn't in the mood for company right now.

"Emma Swan, you have some explaining to do."

 _Fuck._

"Good morning to you, too, Ruby."

The look on her friend's face from the doorway tells her that she's going to need that third cup of coffee, _or perhaps the entire pot_.

Ruby doesn't respond, just strides into the apartment with a confidence that Emma can't help but admire, sometimes wishing she could be as brazen and forthcoming as her fiery friend.

"So, I saw Killian leaving just now."

 _Oh, shit._

Following Ruby into the living room, she plops down on the sofa with what she hopes is a breezy casualness, attempting to hide the tension coursing through her at this topic of conversation.

"Yeah, we just had breakfast."

"I imagine you must have worked up quite the appetite after last night…"

"Ruby!"

"You two _finally_ hook up and I'm supposed to pretend that it didn't happen? Nope, I'm so fucking proud of you, Emma. It's about damn time."

 _God, she's about to let Ruby down, too_. Tucking her knees against her chest, she picks at the fabric of her pants as she looks down at her feet.

"Nothing happened."

"What? But, he…?"

"He came over this morning. I, well, I had Mary Margaret take me home from the party last night before he could find me. I panicked."

Her hand is suddenly tugged from her pants and placed firmly in Ruby's grip between them on the couch. Her red painted fingernails bright against Emma's pale skin.

"Oh, Emma. I'm sorry…I just assumed."

"It's ok, if I wasn't such a coward you're assumption would have been right."

"Emma, look at me."

Turning her cheek to rest against her knees, she looks to Ruby, suddenly thankful that she has her here to work through this with instead of being alone in her own head.

"You are _not_ a coward. You're the strongest person I know."

"I think you mean stubborn."

"Yeah…that, too." Ruby smiles at her and gives her hand a squeeze before letting go and leveraging herself from the couch. "I'm getting us some coffee and _you_ are telling me everything."

An hour and two cups of coffee later, Emma is feeling buzzed and somewhat lighter, having left nothing _(well, almost nothing)_ behind in her explanation of all that has transpired in the last 12 hours between her and Killian.

"I really am proud of you, Emma."

She can't help the surprise at that statement, looking at her friend as if she has three heads.

"For what?"

"For not running from him this morning. You love him, Emma, and he obviously loves you. Hell, I think he's been in love with you since the moment you met. And that's scary for you, I know, but you didn't run. That's a huge step."

"Ruby, that's taking it a bit too far, don't you think? We just kissed. Love is a bit far off."

 _Liar, liar, pants on fire._

"Emma, you don't need to kiss to be intimate. And you and Killian, you've been intimate for years. I know the word love scares the shit out of you, so pretend I didn't say it. You _like_ him, a lot. Is that better?"

"I'm not a child, Ruby, I can deal with the word."

Ruby's sigh sounds eerily similar to the one Killian sent in her direction earlier this morning in her bedroom and she knows she may not _be_ a child, but she is beginning to act like one.

"Sorry. I'm just a little overwhelmed."

"I know, Emma. It's okay."

"It's not, but I appreciate you saying so. Thanks for being such a great friend."

Emma gathers their coffee mugs and carries them to the kitchen, hoping she can still get a few hours of couch time in after Ruby leaves so she can give her brain a much needed break.

"Thanks for not saying Victor's name. _My_ evening definitely lasted longer than 7 minutes."

The mug in her hand breaks into pieces in the sink from the drop as she covers her mouth in surprise. She hadn't told Ruby _that_ detail of the evening, so how in the hell did she know?

Turning, she sees Ruby leaning casually in the doorway of the kitchen with a knowing smirk on her face.

"What? How?"

"Well, when I pulled Killian's name from the bowl, I put two and two together. Following your lead, I pretended to get Victor and made the most of it, _if you know what I mean_."

Emma doesn't know what to say. Not expecting anyone to ever find out what she had done, she's finding herself at a complete and total loss.

"See Emma, told you I was proud of you."

Ruby pushes herself from the wall and gives Emma a quick hug before grabbing her keys from the counter.

"Gotta run, the bar won't open itself."

A crimson tinted wave the last Emma sees before Ruby's gone, leaving her in a state of shock in the middle of her kitchen. Deciding to leave the mess of the mug for later, she makes her way to her couch and face plants against the cushions.

 _Well, fuck me._


	5. Taco Tuesday

He really should be napping. With only an hour to get some shut-eye between shifts, he knows he will regret not taking advantage of the rest if he doesn't. Alas, his mind is too busy trying to make sense of how he's supposed to handle the altered version of his relationship with Emma. _She didn't run._ If she had run, as he had expected, he'd know his next move without question. _Give her space_. This non-running version of Emma, however, has provided him with a quandary. He has no idea how to proceed.

 _Are they dating? Friends with feelings? Is he allowed to kiss her, hold her hand? Does he have to wait for her to make a move?_

Pressing his fingers to his temple, he tries to massage away the headache that is forming in the jumbled mess that is his brain, and his heart. He takes a deep breath and tries to relax and let himself be happy with this new reality, one where he knows that he's not alone in feeling the way that he does, that Emma cares for him as more than just a best friend. He groans at the sudden vibration in his pocket. An hour gone already?

The smile that curves his lips when he sees the alert is a text from Emma and not his alarm can only be described as goofy, making him glad he's alone in the break room.

 _Swan: Remind me of what stupid brand of salsa I have to buy for you._

 _Jones: It's not stupid, Swan. It's perfection. Frontera Roasted Habanero_

 _Swan: I don't know how you eat that stuff. My tongue is still stinging from last week._

Well, she's just unknowingly set up a perfect opportunity for him to test the boundaries of their new relationship. Time to give it a go…

 _Jones: I'll be more than happy to soothe your tongue whenever you like, love._

Her response isn't immediate and he can feel his palms begin to sweat. The innocent flirting that has been commonplace in their relationship now having real intention may be more than she can handle.

 _Swan: Is that so? ;)_

He's taking the wink as a good sign here.

 _Jones: Aye. I'm at your service, milady._

 _Swan: Okay, Captain Innuendo, get back to work._

 _Jones: As you wish._

 _Swan: Later, Wesley. ;)_

 _Jones: Til we meet again, Buttercup._

The alarm on his phone sounds as he types his last text. Thankfully, this little interaction has rejuvenated him more than any nap ever could and he nearly jumps from the couch. After going through his routine of stretches to get his body limber again, he slides his phone into his locker and begins his second shift with a smile.

"You look like the cat that ate the canary, Jones."

"That really is a morbid expression when you think about it, Nolan."

His friend David, local sheriff _and general pain in his ass_ , pushes himself from his slumped position against the nurses desk and follows Killian down the hall.

"Yeah, I guess it is. Never really thought about it before. So, what's got you in such a good mood?"

"Nothing you need to concern yourself with."

Knowing Emma won't want their entire circle of friends gossiping about her, he decides to keep things under the vest until he gets the go ahead from her to say anything. He knows that whatever Mary Margaret finds out from Emma will get back to David anyway, if it hasn't already. The two of them might as well share a heart, madly in love as they are and never from one another for too long.

"Oh really? So it doesn't have anything to do with a certain blonde we both know?"

Killian stops in his tracks at that, David's sudden crash into his back sending them both careening into an empty gurney in the hallway.

"Bloody hell, mate, back off."

David chuckles as he disentangles himself, flashing Killian his most charming smile as he readjusts his badge on his belt.

"You or discussion of Emma?"

After pushing the gurney back into the corner, Killian continues back down the hallway, knowing David's not done with his interrogation and will follow.

"Both."

"C'mon Jones, you know Mary Margaret filled me in on what happened at the party."

With a sigh, Killian turns and looks David in the eye, hoping to convey his need to end this conversation as soon as possible.

"Aye, I assumed as much. You're not getting anything more from me, mate. Emma and I are figuring things out. Can we just leave it at that for now?"

David eyes him somewhat suspiciously, his arms folded against his chest as he does his best to look intimidating. David's tendency to act fatherly towards Emma is something Killian has grown used to over the years and if he's being honest, appreciate. Emma needs more people in her corner and if David wants to act as her protector, he's not about to stop him, _even if it can get bloody annoying at times_.

"Fine. But if you hurt her, I'll end you."

Killian suppresses a laugh at David's tap to the gun on his belt at that last statement, knowing his friend would never actually shoot him. _(Getting punched in the face the more likely outcome of this situation with Emma turning out badly.)_

"Aye, I'd let you."

A moment of understanding passes between the two before he sees David's stance relax, their friendship not allowing the tense moment to drag on any longer.

"So, what are you doing here anyway?"

"You've got a friend of mine down the hall…Robin."

"Oh yeah, just returned from Afghanistan, shoulder injury, really annoying girlfriend who acts like she owns the place?"

"Yep, that's him. And Regina isn't always that bad, just on days that end in Y."

* * *

The steak is cut and ready for searing, tomatoes and onions diced, cilantro minced and avocado sliced. Emma, and her famous margaritas, the only thing that is sorely missing from the picture. He had let himself in, hoping to surprise her with everything ready by the time she arrives home from work. But now, as the time slips past 7:30, he can't help the nervousness from setting in as he wonders if he's overstepping undrawn boundaries. Turning back to his preparation, he curses himself for having these thoughts, thoughts that before things shifted would never have entered his mind. Forcing himself to stop freaking out over nothing, he moves to arrange the taco station on the counter, setting out soft tortillas _(Emma hates hard taco shells)_ , manchego and cheddar cheese and his salsa _(the fact that Emma didn't buy a mild version for herself not going unnoticed)_.

His heart begins to race a bit in his chest when he hears the turn of Emma's keys in the lock, anticipation over seeing her equal to his hopefulness that his presence in her apartment isn't unwelcome. Not wanting to look as though he's too eager, he turns to the sink and begins to rinse the cutting board in an attempt to look casually at ease. When he hears her boots approaching from behind, he peers over his shoulder to flash a smile and catches her somewhat dazed expression from across the room. Without breaking eye contact he reaches out to shut off the water, turning fully to face her as he blindly searches for the dishtowel to dry his hands.

"Emma…"

His words are caught in his throat as she moves towards him and he swears he stops breathing when her hands reach up to cup his face. There's a moment of hesitation, but then she's leaning in to kiss him, her lips moving softly against his, almost questioning in their gentleness. Forgetting his hands are still wet, he threads his fingers through her hair as he kisses her back with fervor, barely suppressing a groan at the feel of her body pressing against him in all the right places. She captures his lower lip in a gentle suck as she pulls back, her breath heavy in the space between them, still looking somewhat dazed as she slowly opens her eyes.

"Sorry…"

He leans in, pressing his lips against hers one more time to stop whatever she intends to utter next. Pulling his hand from her hair he moves to cradle her cheek, holding her close as he reluctantly leans back from her mouth.

"Never apologize for kissing me."

"I just don't know what the rules are now. Seeing you here, having done all of this, I just well…I couldn't help myself."

"If I knew cooking for you was all it took, I would have been here for three meals a day, Swan."

She laughs and he can see her face relax, the blush on her cheeks fading a bit as she slides her hands from his face to rest on his shoulders. Following her lead, he moves his own hands to her waist, holding her lightly as they smile at each other, their positions reminiscent of two lovestruck teenagers at a high school dance.

"Emma, I propose just one rule. Let's agree to not hide how we feel. If we take things slow I think the rest will just happen naturally."

He waits for the panic to set in behind her eyes and is thankful to not see its arrival.

"I can do that."

"I believe we have an accord, Swan."

Her hands squeeze his shoulders gently before she steps back, prompting him to release his gentle grip of her waist.

"An accord? Really? Who says that?"

"I do, Swan. Now, why don't you go change into something more comfortable so you can get back in here and make us margaritas?"

Her attention has shifted to the ingredients laid out on the counter, giving him ample opportunity to admire how great her ass looks in those jeans, the dark ones that mold her every curve and drive him crazy on the regular.

"Ooh, steak. A man after my own heart."

Realizing what she's just said, her blush returns as she smiles at him over her shoulder.

"Guilty, love."

He winks at her and she shakes her head as she moves to exit the kitchen _(somewhat awkwardly)_ and he can't help but love how flustered he's making her.

"Okay, I'll be right back. Get that steak cooking."

With that, she disappears down the hallway to her bedroom and he turns to the stove with a smile, all of his worries from before evaporating in the air around him.

When she reappears she's wearing a pair of his scrubs and her favorite sweatshirt, the one with the Harry Potter logo so faded only the two of them know it's even there. Her fondness for the story one he doesn't really understand but he indulges her movie marathons nonetheless, spending hours cuddled up together on the couch together not really a hardship.

The next ten minutes are spent preparing the last of their meal together, her playing bartender as he sears the steak, laughing and talking as if nothing has changed. They eat at her counter, legs brushing purposefully as they dangle from their stools while he teases her to try his salsa. She refuses, but leans over to kiss some from his lip anyway, immediately reaching for her margarita as the heat reaches her tongue. He laughs, she rolls her eyes, and he can't help but think that he's never been this happy.

As they settle next to each other on the couch, their new arrangement seems to fluster them both momentarily, neither knowing how close to sit. He can't help but thank the gentle buzz of tequila that gives him the courage to draw her against him and he wonders if the same buzz is what prompts her to lift his arm around her shoulder. She reaches for the remote to start a saved episode of "The Daily Show" before cuddling further into his side, tucking her legs underneath her as she rests her knees against his thigh. About five minutes in he realizes he hasn't heard a word Jon Stewart has said, every ounce of his attention in complete focus on Emma, the spicy coconut scent of her shampoo, the gentle press of her hand against his knee and the soft skin of her arm underneath his fingers all combining in a complete sensory overload.

When her hand on his knee begins to move, her fingertips tracing light patterns against his jeans, he can't help the pull of desire from building low in his belly. He moves his hand from her her arm to her neck, brushing her hair behind her shoulder so he can run his fingers slowly against her skin. Her head falls back slightly at his touch and he can see her eyes flutter shut, his restraint now teetering on a razors edge as he takes her in. He watches as she opens her eyes, her body shifting towards him as she looks at him with unmistakable want in her gaze.

"May I kiss you, Emma?" His request sounds gruff to his ears, passion closing his throat as he struggles to keep his breathing under control.

Her nod of assent is like a match igniting a flame, his body feeling close to combustion as he pulls her towards him and slants his mouth over hers. His arm around her moves down to her waist as he cradles her against his body, his tongue begging for entrance as he moves to deepen the kiss. When her leg moves across his thigh he groans into her mouth, his hands sliding along her back as she leans fully against his chest and settles firmly into his lap. Her tongue caresses his and her hands anchor in his hair, pulling lightly in response when his teeth nip lightly against her lip. Her hips begin a slow dance against his, shifting slightly, almost experimentally in a slow rhythm. The jolt of pleasure her movement causes prompts him to still her with his hands on her waist, fear at moving too fast washing over him suddenly, _regretfully_. He can feel her body relax as he slows his lips against hers and and his fingers run up and down her thighs above him, her hands moving from his hair to rest against his chest. She lifts her mouth from his and he opens his eyes just as she is pushing lightly against him with her hands to lean back.

She's breathing heavily and her knees are holding firm to his waist so she doesn't topple from his lap from her new position.

"Why did we wait so long?"

"I have no bloody idea, Swan."


	6. Perfect

Perched on his lap, Emma can't help but take in how ridiculously sexy he looks with his hair mussed from her fingers and his eyes burning with desire, _for her_. It feels a bit like one of her fantasies coming to life and she can't quite believe this is all actually (finally) happening.

"Do you know how many times I wished we were doing _this_ instead of watching TV on this couch?"

Killian's hands tighten around her hips, holding her steady as he leans forward to press his mouth against her neck, a pained groan escaping his lips and vibrating against her skin.

"Emma, love, don't tell me things like that."

His lips are warm against her throat as he kisses a path to her shoulder, his fingers pushing the fabric of her sweatshirt aside so he can suck a mark into the soft skin above her collarbone. She can't help her body's response to his attention, heat pooling between her legs as she tightens her knees around his waist, her hands weaving back into his hair to hold him in place.

He lifts his head and she finds herself face to face with him, his eyes searching hers with an intensity that nearly takes her breath away.

"You have to know how long I have wanted this. Wanted _you_ , Swan. If I had known you felt the same…"

The depth of emotion in his voice causes prickles of fear to creep up her spine so she does the only thing she can think of, closing the distance between their lips to quiet him. She's not ready for big declarations yet, but kissing, _this she can do_. The course scruff beneath his lower lip tickles her chin as she leans into the kiss, the contrast of rough and soft much like Killian himself. His nose presses against her cheek as he stakes claim on her mouth and she wraps her arms around his neck as they both collapse against the back of the couch. Her body feels on the verge of overheating, the warmth of her sweatshirt too much as desire licks like fire under her skin. The breathy moan that escapes her throat when his warm palm slides along the skin of her back should embarrass her, but he feels so good that she can't find it in herself to care.

Parting from his lips, she pulls back slightly so she can pull her hands from behind his head against the couch and grip the bottom of her sweatshirt. His eyes dart to her hands as she tries to lift the material from where it's caught between them. When he looks back up at her she can see the hesitation in his expression and can't help but notice that his hands have stilled against her back.

"Killian, if you don't help me get this off I might go up in flames."

His hands move from her back to the bottom of her sweatshirt, but they don't move immediately as he continues to look at her with a question in his eyes.

"Are you sure?"

"Positive. Now, up."

She lifts her hands high in the air, giving him a sultry wink before closing her eyes in anticipation of the material being pulled over her face. A shiver runs down her entire body at the feel of his knuckles as they brush against her ribs, his fingers gentle as he extricates her head from the collar and releases her from offending garment.

He's staring at her like a kid on Christmas morning; eyes alight with wonder, making her quite happy with herself for her choice of bra, navy blue with ivory lace.

"Stunning…you're bloody stunning."

His eyes dart to hers briefly before he presses his lips to the sensitive skin between her breasts while his fingers begin a dance along her sides and the small of her back. The feeling of his hands finally on her body is like a rush, adrenalin and want flushing her skin in anticipation of his touch everywhere he hasn't reached yet. Then his mouth is back on hers, hot and wet, all tongue and teeth as his hand moves to tentatively cup her breast. She gasps at the contact, leaning instinctively into his palm, her silent invitation for _more_ accepted with the gentle press of his thumb against her nipple.

When his hand pushes the lace aside and makes skin to skin contact with her breast she has to pull away from his mouth to breathe, panting against his lips as she leans her forehead against his. He pulls the cup of her bra down completely, his gaze fixed on his fingers as he lightly pinches her nipple between his thumb and forefinger. She watches as his tongue comes out to wet his lower lip and her belly clenches in anticipation before she bows her back to give him better access. She's thankful for the hand he places behind her as his mouth descends, holding her steady as pleasure courses through her at the feel of his tongue against her flesh.

"Oh…god…so…"

He mouths his agreement against her breast before resuming his attention, suckling her gently as his hand on her back moves to unhook the clasp of her bra. When she feels the straps loosen on her shoulders she shakes it free before moving her hands to his head to pull his head from her breast. He peers up at her from under his lashes, his eyes darkening to almost midnight blue when she shifts her hips against him deliberately. She pushes on his chest until he's leaning back against the sofa; the unbridled passion in his expression as he takes her in from his new position almost too much, making her want to even the playing field a bit. His hands reach for her again and she swats them away, smirking at him as she begins to work the buttons of his shirt open with shaking fingers.

"Emma…"

Ignoring the desperation in his tone, she continues her work, slowly exposing the chest hair she's dreamed of running her fingers through for longer than she'll ever admit to him. His gaze moves from her breasts to her hands, watching as she opens his shirt and runs her palms across his chest. He feels better than she could have ever imagined, his firm muscles flexing under her fingertips as she continues her exploration of his abdomen. Needing to feel his skin against hers, she slides forward on his lap to mold her breasts against his chest, holding tightly to his neck as she guides his mouth back to hers. The kiss that follows is slow, but all consuming as his arms circle her back and hold her tightly against him, leaving not an inch of space between them from lips to hips. One of his hands moves from her back to run down her arm, pulling on her wrist until she loosens her grip on his neck so he can tangle his fingers with hers.

The simple intimacy of holding his hand causes her to smile against lips as she grips his fingers tighter, happiness pushing its way through the fog of lust for a brief moment. Feeling his smile in return, she leans back to playfully brush her nose against his. He chuckles as he opens his eyes, cocking his head slightly as he smiles brightly at her. She just stares back for a moment, wondering why she held back from him for so long, knowing that she'll never be able to let him go now that's she's let him in.

With her free hand, she reaches up to trace his smile with her fingers, parting his lips with her thumb before moving back in. He continues to hold her hand as she takes control, his lips pliant under hers as she releases years of pent up emotion in a slightly messy kiss. His hand moves along her back, the press of his palm against her spine soothing, reminding her of his mastery at massage _(a perk of his job she may finally be able to take advantage of)_. Curling her back, she slides her free hand in the space between them to rake her fingers through the crisp hair on his chest. His mouth tears from hers with a deep guttural sound when her palm presses against his nipple, prompting her to find and circle the sensitive bud with her thumb, his response to her touch overwhelmingly arousing to witness. When his head falls back against the couch she shifts slightly to the side, giving herself room to continue her slow torture of his skin as she latches her lips to the side of his neck. Sucking hard, she intends to leave a mark to match the one he left on her shoulder, the sound of her name escaping his lips urging her on in her task.

When his hand pulls from hers to join his other in grinding her hips down against his, she knows his control has snapped.

"Fuck, Emma."

She leans forward, pressing her palm against the back of the couch to give herself leverage as she rocks against him, her hand on his chest moving back to his neck as she breathes against his ear. Chasing the sparks of pleasure spreading from her core at every press of her center against the thick erection straining against his jeans, she feels the muscles in her thighs begin to tighten in anticipation of the release she's been dreaming of since their time together in that damn closet. He unclamps one hand from her hip to pull her mouth back to his, his tongue working roughly against hers as he lifts his hips slightly to increase the contact every time she grinds down. She loses her rhythm momentarily when he palms her breast, the slide of her nipple between his fingers sending her closer and closer to the edge with each pull of her skin.

She releases a heavy breath against his lips, suddenly thankful when he takes control of their movements again, guiding her against him with determination.

"Come for me..."

He speaks the words between her lips, not fully breaking contact with her mouth as he rolls his hips upwards, hitting her in the perfect spot to _finally_ send her crashing into oblivion.

She can barely breathe, the sensations pulsing down her legs and up into her belly so intense that she barely registers his muttering of her name against her neck as his head collapses forward, his release having followed hers in the aftermath. She pries her hand from the cushion to cradle his head, holding him against her as they breathe together and she allows herself to relax into his embrace.

A shiver runs down her spine, both from the feel of his fingertips as he slowly traces circles against her back and the air from the fan in the corner, now too cool against her naked back. He lifts his head from her neck, pressing kisses along her cheek until he reaches her lips, kissing her slowly, reverently, making her wonder if she's ever actually known real love until now. He pulls from her lips and shifts to hold her waist as he looks down at the floor, his eyes searching for something she can't see.

"Hold still, love."

She looks over her shoulder as he leans down to retrieve the blanket crumpled between the couch and her armchair, the twisting of his body beneath her sending tiny aftershocks along her core. His raised eyebrow shot back at her when she involuntarily clenches her fingernails into his shoulder tells her that he's just as affected. After settling the blanket around her shoulders, he pulls her towards him, tucking her head under his chin as his arms wrap around her inside the cocoon he's created.

"Better?"

Her knees are feeling a bit numb and her thighs are on the verge of cramping, but being in his arms feels like heaven just the same.

"Perfect."

She wakes in the early morning hours, his arms still tight around her with her head on his chest, their feet tangled together under the blanket. Tears spring to her eyes as she thinks of the many nights she's woken alone, longing for him, knowing her fears the only thing in the way of having him here with her like this. His arms tighten around her in his sleep and she takes a deep breath before pressing a light kiss to his chest. Unwilling to allow her fears to ruin _this_ moment, she closes her eyes and lets the rhythm of his breathing slowly lull her back to a contented slumber.

...

* * *

 _A/N: One little note on this chapter - in the time between the post makeout cuddle and falling asleep on the couch, Killian would have taken the time to clean himself up._ ;) _The next update should arrive early next week. With Memorial Day this weekend, I'm not sure when I'll have time to write. Thanks for your amazing feedback to this story so far, I'm really floored by it!_


	7. the letter

He wakes to a mouthful of hair, his left arm completely numb below the elbow and what he's sure will be a bruise on his spine from the button on the back of her couch, and yet, he's hard pressed to find a moment in his life happier than this. Any discomfort he feels is eclipsed by the gentle puffs of air caressing his throat with every breath she exhales, the warmth of her fingers on the small of his back, and god…the all too perfect fit of her hips molded against his. She shifts in her sleep, the friction drawing all of the blood from his brain downwards and he stifles a groan, cursing his body's unbidden reaction as he feels himself hardening against her hip.

 _Bloody hell, Jones._

Clenching his jaw, he shuts his eyes and tries to think of other things, anything besides Emma and her soft hands, and blimey, he can't help himself. Their activities last night, enjoyable as they were, simply have him craving her more, something he didn't honestly deem possible until this very moment. His intentions of taking things slow, easing her into this now seem like the worst possible idea he's ever had. They can do this, right? Remain friends and become lovers, be the same and yet, more? As much as he wants the _more_ , he can't risk losing everything they already have.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

He smiles and exhales a long breath through his nose before opening his eyes, knowing he's been caught brooding and that he's not quite prepared to explain why. The slight brush of her lips to his jaw force his attention downwards, the green of her eyes calming his thoughts when he doesn't see an ounce of fear in her still sleepy expression.

"Good morning, love."

With only one hand to work with _(the other still trapped beneath her)_ he does his best to distract her from her query, lightly skimming his palm along her hip and up her side before sliding his fingers around her neck to hold her in place as he leans in to kiss her. The flex of her hand against his back and the press of her toes along his calf lead him to believe she is on board with this change in course.

"Unh-uh"

 _Bollocks_. Stopping his progression, he rests his forehead against hers briefly before leaning back to look down at her. She's smiling, _thankfully_ , but the determination behind her eyes tells him that she's on to his tricks. That doesn't stop him from trying to deflect as he softens his expression and slowly begins tracing her jaw with the pad of thumb.

"It's nothing, Swan."

Her hand at his back begins a slow caress, the slow dance of her fingers along his spine leaving goosebumps in their wake along his skin. When she speaks again there's a hint of uneasiness evident, despite the words being spoken barely more than a whisper.

"You're holding something back."

Realizing his evasiveness is what will be the cause of her fear more than his actions, he lifts her chin with his thumb so he can look her squarely in the eye.

"I just…don't want to mess this up. You and me, what he have is the most important thing in my life and I don't want to push too hard or move too fast, but having you in my arms like this…it's a test of my restraint. So yes…I am holding something back…"

He can't help but roll his hips lightly against hers to punctuate the extent of his need for her, the press of her thigh against his groin causing the rest of his sentence to pass through his lips on a groan.

"…my fervent desire to ravish you right here and now on this bloody sofa."

He watches as her eyelashes flutter shut and her mouth parts at the contact, the sudden grip of her hand at his back as she nestles further into the cradle of his thighs causing his heartbeat to pound loudly in his ears. Coherent thought escapes him fully when her lips find his, his hand at her chin moving to wind into her hair as he loses himself in the warmth of her mouth and the sweet invitation of her body. He can feel her, hot against his groin as she writhes against him, prompting him to shift them so he can roll her onto her back, his slightly numb arm finally unpinned and able to roam freely.

The whimper that escapes her lips when his thumb brushes the underside of her breast urges him on, her naked skin warm under his palm as he begins to knead and tweak, stoking her desire as his tongue delves and curls against hers. When her hips widen beneath his and her legs move to wrap around his hips, he knows they are perilously close to reaching the point of no return. His imaginings of having Emma like this have taken many forms, _against the cushions of this couch being one of them_ , but seeing her come apart slowly beneath him in her bed seems more fitting for their first time together than the rushed coupling they seem to be on the verge of.

Pulling back from her mouth, he breathes her name against her lips, his hand on her breast moving to slide beneath them to hold her against him at the small of her back.

"Emma…"

A shrill beeping beside them on the coffee table causes him to jolt above her and the swift turn of her head towards the sound brings his lips to rest against her ear.

"Sorry, hang on…"

She wriggles beneath him in an attempt to reach her phone and quiet the offending noise and he groans against her, releasing his grip on her back so he can lift his hips and relieve some of the pressure building in his groin at her sinful movements.

"Fuck."

Clamping his eyes shut, he knows that the fun they were on the verge of embarking on is about to come to a premature end by the tone of her voice.

"Aye"

"I'm so sorry, I have to go. My mark is on the move."

Opening his eyes, he looks down at her with his best bedroom eyes, making sure he has her attention before running his tongue along his lower lip.

"I'd say he was just beginning to..."

She rolls her eyes and laughs before placing her hands on his chest to push him up, everything blurring into a tangle of limbs as he tries to leverage himself at the same time as she attempts to unwrap her legs from around his waist. Somehow she manages to wrestle herself free and he settles back against the sofa, his hand inching up inside her pants to stroke her calf as she stands beside him, her eyes searching the floor for her discarded sweatshirt.

"Unless you're some creepy guy named Pete who we think has possibly kidnapped a young girl named Wendy, I definitely wasn't referring to you."

"Pete and Wendy? Seriously?"

"Don't even get me started. At least her last name isn't Darling. Ah, there it is!"

She moves from his grasp as she spies her sweatshirt and she hastily shoves it over her head. Placing his hands behind his neck, he watches as she seems to move everywhere and nowhere all at once. Obviously still affected by their activities from a moment ago, she's a bit clumsy in her attempt to put on her bra under the sweatshirt, colorful curses escaping her lips in frustration.

"Need a hand, love?"

"Not a chance. I need this thing on, not off."

God he loves this woman. Seeing her spring into savior mode, as he likes to call it, is a sight to behold. All sass and strength, she's a true warrior princess in his eyes. The wink she sends his way when she finally gets things situated under her sweatshirt sends fire through his veins and he's suddenly thankful when she turns to sprint to her bedroom and out of sight. His groin is pulsing beneath his jeans and he takes a few deep breaths, his need for her even more potent now than it was before when she was stretched out beneath him. Grabbing the blanket at his feet, he pulls it over his legs and attempts to look casual as he tries to adjust himself before she returns.

The sound of her boots on the hallway alert her arrival seconds before she's back in front of him, black jeans having replaced the scrubs, her hands pulling her curls from underneath a snug fitting navy turtleneck. She sits on the coffee table as she finishes winding her hair in to a high ponytail and he sits up, leaning forward between her legs to finish zipping her boots. He inhales a deep breath when her hands reach into his hair and she tilts his head back, her lips suddenly hot and heavy against his as she kisses him, deep and somewhat dirty in her urgency. When she pulls back, her eyes are dazed as she brushes her nose against his, once, before she stands and places one last kiss to his forehead. The view she gives him as she leans down to retrieve her phone and stuff it in her back pocket has him bunching the blanket in front of him once again and he shakes his head at his inability to get himself under control.

'I'll call you later!"

She's gone before he can unwind his tongue to respond, a blur of black and blonde disappearing through her door like a thief in the night, his heart _(and his dignity)_ firmly in her grasp.

One cold shower, an hour of cleaning her kitchen and a few more hours of lounging on her couch later, he finally gives up hope of her returning any time soon and decides that perhaps it's time for him to retire to his own apartment for the day. After straightening her couch cushions and folding her blanket, he retrieves his keys from the hook on the wall and makes his way to her door. Seeing that the mail has arrived, he gathers the bills and magazines from where they have fallen to the floor from her mail slot and places them neatly on her hall table. His eyes pass over the bright green envelope on the top briefly, noting the obviously feminine cursive, before he turns away and makes his exit. Knowing Emma doesn't have female friends outside of their tight circle he can't help but wonder who that letter might be from.

* * *

 _Swan: Looks like I'm in for an overnight stakeout._

 _Jones: Want some company?_

 _Swan: Yes, but I need to focus and you are too much of a distraction._

 _Jones: I can behave myself, Swan._

 _Swan: Never said you'd be the problem..._

 _Jones: haha_

 _Swan: ;) Anyway, just wanted to check in and say goodnight._

 _Jones: Be careful, love._

 _Swan: I always am. See you Friday night at the bar?_

 _Jones: Aye. I'll come straight from work._

 _Swan: Good._

 _Jones: Goodnight, love._

 _Swan: Night, Jones._

Killian stares down at his phone, this conversation with Emma the last he's heard from her in the past 12 hours and he can't help the fear from creeping up his spine. He knows she can take care of herself, always carrying a loaded gun when she's working and her partner constantly in contact back in the office. Belle, the researcher half of Emma's private investigating team, always makes sure to check in and is quick to call David if she doesn't hear back from Emma in a timely manner. Killian knows that if something had gone badly, he'd have heard by now, but he can't help feeling protective of her nonetheless. Pressing the phone button beside her name, he waits to hear if she will pick up and cringes when he her voicemail message plays instead. Hanging up without leaving a message, he places his phone back into his locker and tries to convince himself that she's probably just sleeping after a long night and he should just leave her be.

It's not until he sees David near the end of his shift does he actually relax, the tension in his shoulders releasing as the sheriff regales him of Emma's takedown of Pete and the rescue of young Wendy. Emma Swan saves the day once again.

 _Swan: Pete had Wendy, got him. Tired, see you tomorrow night._

Killian finds himself put off slightly by the brief message he sees when he reaches for his phone in his locker, happy that she thought to check in, but it still leaves him on edge. He can't quite put his finger on what, but he senses that something's off. The knowledge that he'll be seeing her soon provides some comfort, the pull to go over and see her still tugging at him as he changes back into his street clothes. The lack of invitation in her message tells him that maybe she needs some space, and he reluctantly makes his way home to his apartment instead of hers.

He feels like he is practically crawling out of his skin by the time he's on his way to the bar the next night, every fiber of his being itching to see her, touch her, and he begins to wonder if this is what drug addicts feel like when they've gone too long between fixes. After pushing the heavy door open, he scans the dimly lit room for her, catching Ruby's eye first from her position behind the bar. The look on her face is strange and she nods in the direction of the kitchen, prompting him to follow her down the back hallway.

"Ruby?"

She stops short, looking over her shoulder briefly before pulling him into the shadows out of view of the rest of the bar.

"It's Emma. She's over in the corner and she's been here for a while. She's pretty wasted."

"Ruby, you're the bartender, why didn't you cut her off?"

"She snuck a bottle of tequila when I wasn't looking. She'd make quite the pick-pocket."

"Aye… Any idea what's wrong with her?"

"No idea. She's barely said two words to me. Just thought I'd give you a heads up."

"Thanks Rubs, I'll just pop in to the loo and splash some cold water on my face. I have a feeling this could be a long night."

"Good luck, Captain."

He ducks into the washroom as Ruby makes her way back to the bar, any ideas of a fun night with Emma now gone as he prepares himself to face whatever has gone on in the last 48 hours to get her in such a state. The door behind him crashes open as he's rubbing the water from his eyes and he sees Emma in the mirror, her eyes almost wild as she leans heavily against the now closed door at her back.

"Emma, love…what?"

He watches as her hand reaches behind her to lock the door, _something he obviously forgot_ , before stalking towards him, her eyes locked with his in the mirror as his heartbeat begins to quicken in anticipation.

"I thought I saw you come in."

Her words are slurred, but she's surprisingly steady on her feet as she reaches him and wraps an arm around his waist. Turning in her arms, he leans back against the sink, attempting to put some space between them while fighting the urge to pull her into his arms. Drunk or not, his body still craves hers and she is looking at him as though she wants to devour every inch of him, right here, in this bloody bathroom.

"Emma, sweetheart, you're drunk."

"Very astute, Jones."

She steps forward and grabs a fistful of his shirt, pulling him down until she can crash her mouth against his, the taste of tequila passing between his lips by the force of her tongue. Too many hours away from her and the feel of her pressed against him proves too much for a few moments and he lets her have her way with him, responding to the kiss with equal measure. When his wits begin to return, he winds his fingers around the base of her head to hold her steady as he slowly tries to calm her, pulling back his mouth to gently caress her lower lip between his. She seems to get the hint, releasing his shirt to press lightly against his chest with her palm before pulling back, her closeness giving him a good view of how bloodshot and red rimmed her eyes actually are.

"Emma, what is it?"

"What's what? I just wanted to kiss you. Is that a crime?"

"Not in my book, surely, but I…"

His words get caught in his throat as her hand moves from his chest down his stomach, her intent suddenly clear as she leans back in to whisper in his ear.

"Good, cause I'm not quite done with you yet."

He can't help the groan from escaping his lips at the sudden feel of her palm against the front of his jeans as she cups his erection, the heel of her hand pressing down with purpose as she sucks his earlobe between her teeth. A million thoughts are at war in his brain as she continues her sweet torture, the overwhelming pleasure of her touch where he's been aching for her warring with his knowledge of how drunk she is battling each other for dominance. Clumsy fingers beginning to work at his belt buckle finally snap him into action as his hand moves to pull her from his ear while the other comes to rest on her fingers at his belt.

"God, Emma…we can't."

The fire in her eyes blazes as she rips her hand from his waist, stepping back on unsteady feet until she's just out of his reach.

"What, _you_ don't want me now, either? Figures."

"Bloody hell, Swan, of course I do. But you're blasted. This isn't how this is supposed to happen."

Tears are falling down her cheeks now and he reaches for her, her cringe nearly knocking the wind out of him as she looks at him with more sadness in her eyes than he's seen there in many years. Knowing she will fight him, he pulls her into his embrace anyway, preparing himself to hold on until she either strikes him or falls apart, either option breaking his heart at the thought. Her fight is short lived, her elbows digging in to his chest for only a brief moment before she crumbles, her entire weight collapsing against his as sobs begin to wrack her thin frame. He cradles her close as he sinks to the floor, tucking her head beneath his chin so she can cry against his chest as he leans back against the wall. Wishing he had a bloody clue what was wrong, he whispers quiet words of comfort into her hair while he massages the pressure point at her temple with his thumb. After a while he hears her sniffle lightly against his chest and he reaches up to the pile of paper towels on the edge of the sink and hands her one, waiting for her to wipe her nose before he attempts to question her.

"Sorry, I…"

"Emma, it's okay. You can tell me anything, you know that?"

"I know. I just, god…why did I let this affect me so badly?"

"What happened, love, please?"

"Lily."

"Your friend from when you were a girl?"

"Yeah, she took off and I never heard from her again. Well, until yesterday. She sent me a letter."

Images of the green envelope with the cursive penmanship flash across his eyes and he groans, wishing he had snooped and been more prepared for this moment.

"What about this letter has upset you?"

"All of it, really. But, well, she's happy, married with a kid… _normal_. I…you're going to think I'm horrible for saying this but I secretly held onto hope that she was out there, struggling like I was, that maybe I wasn't the only one."

"Oh, Swan. That's natural. She was your only real friend, made you believe you were kindred spirits and then disappeared without a word. You can't beat yourself up for the thoughts of a child."

He feels her shudder against him and he worries that she will begin crying again.

"Emma, please look at me."

She lifts her head slowly and he reaches down to cup her cheeks, leaning in to press kiss her briefly before pulling back to rest his forehead lightly against hers.

"You're not that lost girl anymore. You have people who love you, who will do anything for you. You have to believe that."

He wants to be more direct, tell her that _he_ loves her, _he_ will do anything for her, but he's still scared that too much too soon will send her running, so he holds back.

"I'm starting to."

"Good. Now, let's say we get up off this dingy floor and get out of here?"

He smiles at her, hoping to coax one in return and feels his heart flutter when he succeeds. It's a small smile, but he'll take what he can get at this point.

"Will you take me home?"

"Of course, love, your place or mine?"

"Doesn't matter, as long as you're there."


	8. better than bacon

_Toothpaste has never tasted better._

As Emma stares at herself in the mirror, scrubbing the sharp taste of tequila from her tongue with vigor, she focuses on anything but the nausea still lingering in her very empty stomach. Memories of Killian's hands in her hair, rubbing circles on her back and _finally_ , tucking her against him as she passed out in his bed all bring a rosy color to her cheeks and work to keep her mind on happier things. She finds herself equally embarrassed and well, invigorated, just thinking about him. The kiss he pressed to her temple this morning before leaving her to make breakfast was of the lingering kind, his lips soft and warm against her skin, gentle but also firm in its intention. Despite her drunken antics from the night before, his behavior upon waking is still that of a man who wants her ( _possibly loves her_ ) and she seriously has no idea how she got this lucky.

Allowing herself a few more minutes to primp _(deodorant and a little mascara never hurt anyone)_ she lets her mind wander to the letter and what she wants to do about it. Thankfully, Killian already knows her history with Lily, details of her lost friendship having been spilled and cried over many years ago during another drunken evening spent together. Lily had been the one person she had _chosen_ to welcome in to her life, had shared her sorrows and fears and then she was just…gone, along with the last of Emma's cash. Emma never tried to find her. She'd shoved her away inside as just another in a long list of disappointments, refusing to face that doing so had placed a shadow over her heart.

The man cooking breakfast for her a few steps away, one Killian Jones, has proven to be the light her heart needed to cast off the darkness, help her love herself and for the first time in maybe forever, trust in the love of someone else. Giving herself one last look in the mirror, Emma makes a decision and just hopes that Killian might be up for an adventure.

"I'm really glad we came back to your place instead of mine. I definitely don't have bacon and that smells heavenly."

The smile he sends her over his shoulder from the stove wakes up her butterflies, not really a lovely feeling to add to the mild nausea, but she can't help the way he makes her feel.

"Happy to hear your appetite has returned, love. I made coffee as well, but I'm not sure if you're quite ready for that."

Knowing he will scold her if she gets too close to the grease popping bacon, she runs her fingers through his hair before rising on her tiptoes to press a lingering kiss of her own to the back of his neck. Like a cat, he leans back into her, nuzzling her cheek with his scruff as his shoulder-blades press sinfully against her braless chest. How she has kept her hands off of this man for so long, she has absolutely no idea.

She molds herself fully against his back, keeping her hands to herself _(for the time being)_ and sets her chin on his shoulder and her lips against his ear.

"Hi."

The fact that he has to lightly clear his throat before responding raises the blush in her cheeks again, his responsiveness to her now that he's stopped hiding it absolutely adorable.

"Hello, yourself."

"Thanks for taking care of me last night."

"Of course, Swan. You've done the same for me."

"I know, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't say thanks."

She can feel his dimples press against her cheek as he smiles wider and her resolve finally breaks, nausea suddenly the furthest thing from her mind.

"If you're quite done cooking that bacon, I'd really like to thank you properly."

The haste with which he shoves the pan from the burner and turns off the stove is slightly comedic and she can't stop the laughter from bubbling from her lips. Grabbing his waist, she turns him in her arms and pulls him forward, smiling against his lips as she tries to kiss him through her giggles. He tastes like bacon and coffee and she thinks that maybe having _him_ for breakfast might be the best idea she's ever had. Her laughter fades as his hands slide under her shirt at her waist to hold her and feels a bit of triumph when his lips part on a ragged breath in response to her thigh pressing purposefully between his legs. The thin material of his pajama pants making it impossible to ignore how hard he already is for her, she decides that if he's willing she'd really like to finish what she started last night, without the barrier of alcohol _and his gentlemanly protests_.

She slowly backs them across the kitchen, distracting him with her tongue until she has him pressed against the refrigerator, the collision sending a few magnets crashing to the floor at their feet. He tears his mouth from hers at the same time as his hand presses her hips further into his, the contrast of actions proving his control is definitely at war with his need.

"Swan…"

Nudging his head back against the freezer with her lips on his neck, she sucks lightly on his skin as she slides her hand from around his waist to press firmly against his hip. Holding him against the refrigerator, she slowly begins to circle her thumb over his hipbone, cataloging every sound escaping his lips as he responds to her touch.

"Shh…let me..."

His skin is warm under her fingertips as she pushes under his shirt, the crisp hairs on his belly tickling the tender skin of her wrist as she angles her hand into the waistband of his pants. His hand stops her progress, _as she expected_ , and she looks up at him, his ragged breathing and flushed cheeks making her more determined in her quest.

"Emma, you don't have to…"

"Of course I don't. I _want_ to. I wanted to last night, and I'm glad you stopped me then, but you don't need to stop me now. Unless _you_ don't want me to?"

"Bloody hell, Swan, of course I want you to. I've dreamed of having your hands on me for years, but I want to make sure…"

Deciding to take matters into her own hands, _literally_ , she finds the hard, heat of him with her palm, silencing his questioning with a firm squeeze.

"Okay?"

His hand in her hair as he drags her mouth to his answers her quite nicely. He feels like heaven in her hand as she strokes him, cherishing his groans of pleasure against her lips as his hips rock forward to increase the pressure of her palm. Feeling him harden further beneath her touch tells her he's close and she quickens her pace, his hand at her hip tightening as his head falls heavily against the freezer.

"Fuck…Emma…feels so good…"

Seeing him on the verge has her clamping her thighs together, desire pooling between her legs as his eyes clamp shut and a deep groan escapes his lips. She's been witness to many amazing things during her friendship with this man, but watching him come…it now resides at the top of her list. The scrunch of his nose, the light sheen of sweat across his brow and the way his teeth trap his lower lip as he lets go all make her want to start all over and watch it all again.

"Emma, sweetheart…that was…"

The endearment pulls her from her lustful thoughts and she smiles up at him before leaning in to kiss him softly, releasing her grip as he begins to soften in her palm. Knowing that they both need a moment to clean themselves up, she smiles against his lips once more before she reluctantly pulls back from his mouth.

"Sweetheart…I like the way that sounds."

His fingertips move from her hair to brush along her cheek as he smiles down at her, his eyes bright and blue and perfect and she has no idea how to tell him how happy she is.

"Good. I intend to say it often."

Smiling back, she gives his hip a playful nudge towards the bathroom as she moves to turn towards the sink.

"Get yourself cleaned up, Jones. I'm hungry for that bacon now."

"Oh, so you were hungry for me before then, huh, Swan?"

Oh man, she's creating a monster. Turning towards the sink, she lathers the hand soap and shakes her head, knowing he's still standing behind her waiting for her response.

"Obviously."

When he's suddenly pressed against her from behind and his hands are tangling with hers under the water, she realizes that he might have other things than breakfast still on his mind.

"I'm not hungry for bacon quite yet, love."

As much as a huge part of her wants him to reciprocate and release the tension throbbing between her thighs, she knows her stomach is still verging on queasy and she isn't sure if she can handle it. _The slide of his tongue behind her ear isn't helping…._

"Let's save _that_ for dessert. My hangover should be gone by then."

His voice is husky against her throat as he continues to nuzzle her, the scratch of his untrimmed scruff on her skin a sensation that should be painful, but is anything but.

"You sure? It's bad form to leave a partner wanting, Swan."

 _Oh, Jesus…._ Her stomach flips at his ridiculous turn of phrase and she reaches out to shut off the water with their hands still entwined. She wants…oh, how she wants, but she's waited this long and can wait a few hours longer.

"Always the gentleman, aren't you, Jones? Later is fine….I promise."

His fingers release hers and he reaches for the towel to dry their hands, the sweetness of the gesture at odds with the tense passion she can feel coursing through his body still pressed against her from behind.

"As you wish."

He punctuates that statement with a kiss to her cheek before moving away from her, leaving her to grip the sink as she finds herself the one barely holding on to her control. When she turns he's gone, likely to the bathroom, and she takes a deep breath and attempts to focus her attention on the now abandoned bacon.

* * *

"Killian?"

His hand in her hair stills for a moment before resuming its path and she looks up at him from her position in his lap. They've found their way to his couch, lounging their Saturday away _(as they've done many weekends before)_ , one of Killian's favorite _(stupid)_ history channel shows playing softly in the background.

"Yes, sweetheart?"

He smirks down at her and she pinches his side, causing him to jump slightly beneath her as he chuckles at himself.

"So violent…"

"If you're done, may I continue?"

She's smiling from ear to ear, loving that despite the newness of everything between them, they can still be like this with each other, that nothing about what makes them _Emma and Killian_ has to change. His gentle flick of her nose with his finger only punctuates her thinking.

"Continue…"

"Do you think you can get a few days off of work soon? There's somewhere I need to go and I really want you to come with me."

The ease at which she is able to ask him this surprises her, but then, it doesn't all the same. She needs him to say yes, and there's a comfort in knowing that he will, _without hesitation_.

"I'm sure I can find someone to cover my shifts pretty easily, Swan. We've always got backups from other hospitals offering to help out. Where are we headed?"

"I want to go visit Lily."


	9. the dress

"Well, this is an unexpected turn of events, Swan."

Her news is leaving him equally concerned and proud, as he knows that journeying back into her past will be difficult but also a necessary step for her to begin to heal old wounds. He's touched that she would want him by her side for this, but then again, he's been her partner in most things since the day they met so he can't say that he's all that surprised at the invitation.

Emma moves to sit up and he slides his hand from her hair, groaning internally at the feel of her palm high on his thigh as she readjusts to face him on the couch. Memories of what her hands are capable of has him squirming a bit in his seat and he forces himself to redirect his wayward thoughts back to the present and the conversation at hand. She's looking at him intently from her new position sitting cross legged beside him and he turns his legs towards her to give her his full attention.

"I know, Emma Swan running towards her problems instead of away, hard to believe, right?"

He reaches for her at that, finding her hand in her lap so he can twine their fingers together and give her palm a gentle squeeze.

"You seem to be getting better at facing things, love, in case you haven't noticed."

Her head dips slightly and he can see her cheeks being to blush, but her hand squeezes his back and he feels himself falling even more in love with her _(if that's even possible)_. Before he has the chance, she leans in and presses a soft kiss to his lips, just a light brush of skin against skin, and then she's pulling back from his mouth and settling back on her cushion.

"I've noticed."

This new, affectionate Emma is someone he is really looking forward to seeing more of. Sensing he's the one who's probably blushing now, he smiles his brightest smile in her direction in encouragement for her to continue.

"I was thinking about you, actually. Back when you were dealing, well… _not dealing_ , with everything that happened with Liam and how our trip to London changed everything for you. You let me be there for you when you needed to make peace with your past and well, I think it's time for me to do the same. I know, our situations are different and I don't mean to compare a lost friendship with your brother's death…"

Too overwhelmed to speak, he silences her rambling with his lips, kissing her through her surprise as he tries to express how much her words mean to him with the press of his mouth and the caress of his fingers as he cradles her cheeks. When she releases a soft sigh against his lips he knows she understands and then she's kissing him back, matching his slow and gentle pace as her hand wraps lightly around his neck. Angling his head slightly, he presses a soft kiss to the corner of her mouth, once, twice and then a third time, replacing the three words threatening to spill from his lips that he's longing to say aloud. Leaning back, he tilts her chin with his fingers and waits until her eyes open and find his in the small space between them.

"I'm proud of you, Swan."

"I'm proud of me, too."

They spend the next hour cuddled in front of his laptop, mapping out their road trip from Boston to where Lily lives in downtown Philadelphia just around the corner from the art museum with the iconic Rocky steps. He can already envision Emma laughing at him as he attempts to recreate the famous movie moment, pumping his fists in the air like an idiot to just to make her smile.

"When do you want to go?"

"This week, if you can swing it? I'm afraid I'll talk myself out of it if we wait to long."

"Let me call the hospital and see about my shifts. I do, however, have one stipulation."

"Oh really, what's that?"

"Let me take you on a date before we go?"

Her hands go still on the keyboard and she looks over at him, meeting his hopeful smile with a surprised one of her own.

"A date?"

"Yes, Swan, a date. You know, where we both get a little dressed up, go out for a nice meal, candlelight, roses."

"I never knew you were such a romantic? That's really sweet…"

"If that's a yes, how about this evening? If you're feeling up to it, that is?"

He can feel his ears heating up as the blush reaches the tips when she leans in to kiss his cheek, her lips lingering for a moment so she can speak softly against his skin.

"I'm definitely feeling up to it. Plus, I seem to remember being promised dessert later…"

Turning his head to face her, he leans in, his lips a breath away from hers as he runs his hand lightly against the inside of her thigh.

"Dessert is definitely on the menu, Swan."

He sees her breath catch and she presses her forehead tightly against his as the air thickens around them, the laptop across his legs thankfully hiding his body's response to the turn of their conversation.

"I'm calling Ruby to come pick me up so I can get ready."

She sounds as though she is convincing herself of this idea as much as announcing her plans, her eyes still focused on his lips as he reluctantly stops his hand from venturing further up her thigh.

"I can drive you home."

She shakes her head slightly, the action causing her nose to accidentally brush his, breaking the spell between them as she smiles and pulls back.

"No, I need to apologize to her for last night anyway. Plus, she'll want me to try on half her closet so I might as well kill two birds with one stone. You can pick me up there."

He can't help his mind from reeling at the possibilities of attire he will find Emma in, Ruby's style not on the demure side, short skirts and leather almost always in the mix somewhere.

"Killian?"

"Sorry, yeah, sounds perfect. I'll get things figured out at the hospital and see you at 7?"

"It's a date."

She leans in to press a quick kiss to his lips and pushes herself from the couch, leaving him to crane his neck to watch her as she disappears down the hall to his bedroom. When she's out of sight, he lets his head fall back against the cushion as he moves the laptop from his thighs, barely resisting the urge to take himself in hand to relieve the pressure that's been building in the last few minutes. Taking a few deep breaths, he forces his thoughts to shift to the calls he needs to make and possible restaurant options for the evening.

* * *

"Emma, you look great, stop it!"

Ruby's voice causes him to stop his hand from knocking, the exasperation in her tone evident through the door and he can't help but smile as he pictures Emma complaining about whatever sexy frock Ruby's convinced her to wear. He cranes his ear closer in hopes of hearing Emma's response, but her voice is unfortunately too far away. Angling his hand behind his back, he raps lightly on Ruby's door and waits patiently for his evening with Emma to begin.

The door opens and he's surprised to see Emma instead of Ruby and she quite literally takes his breath away. Whatever she'd done with her makeup is making her eyes sparkle like emeralds as she looks shyly at him and he's so caught up in her gaze that it takes him a moment to realize that he hasn't even taken in the rest of her yet. Her hair is softly curled and pulled over her shoulder, golden blonde shining against the long sleeves of a black dress that's hugging her curves in bloody sinful ways.

"How did I get so lucky?"

"You don't look too bad yourself, Captain."

He looks down at himself, shaking his head at his slate blue shirt, dark grey vest and black jeans, feeling as if even if he was wearing a tuxedo in this moment he'd still not be even close to the same league as her. Thankful he thought of something special for this moment, he shifts his focus back to her and pulls his hand from behind his back.

"For you, milady."

Her fingertips reach up to lightly grip the long stem of the rose in his hand and she steps a bit closer to him, the sweet and spicy scent of her perfume filling his nose as he breathes her in. Never one for floral scents, she always seems to smell of cinnamon apples or some other fruity dessert, making him constantly hungry for something sweet and _for her_.

"You really are a romantic. It's beautiful."

"As are you, Swan."

"Thank Ruby, this is all her doing. Let me put this in water before we go."

He's about to call out his thanks to Ruby, who's disappeared somewhere out of sight, but then Emma turns and all coherent thought escapes him. Her dress from the front was tight fitting, but not at all scandalous, but the back, holy hell is that a different story. There is so much of Emma's back on display that he's not entirely sure of how she's keeping the frock on her body at all. All pale skin and freckles, she's bloody gorgeous and he wants more than anything to cross over to her and touch her, mold himself against her and never let her go.

"You're welcome, Jones."

Ruby's appearance out of nowhere shakes him from his slack jawed perusal of Emma and he turns to see the brunette standing in the hallway, hands on her hips and smug smile on her face. She gives him a wink before pushing past him to the kitchen and he watches as she takes the rose from Emma's fingers.

"I'll find the bud vase. You two get out of here."

The two women share a silent moment and he moves to the door, happy to have a second to get his body under control and compose himself before their evening begins. Seeing Emma in that dress has him wishing that they could skip dinner altogether, but at the same time he's so happy that he can finally have nights like this with her and doesn't want to rush a second of it.

"Ready?"

Emma's making her way towards him, small bag in hand and a bright smile on her face.

"After you."

He feels no shame when he allows his hand to linger on the small of her back as he ushers her through the door and down the stairs. The sultry look she sends his way when he does tells him that she's not minding it in the least.

They end up at a small Italian restaurant, white linen and candlelight, sipping wine with her leg pressed against his under the table. He flirts and she reciprocates, kissing pasta sauce from his lips after she feeds him some of her lasagna with her fork. It's romantic and clichéd and _bloody perfect_. Her chair has made its way flush with his and he sees a devilish look take over her features just before he feels her hand on his knee. His blood is rushing downward at an agonizingly fast pace and he hopes that she's hungry for the next course, cause he's about to crawl out of his skin. They're close enough now that he can lean in and press his lips against his ear, whispering as his hand seeks the exposed skin at her waist.

"Ready for dessert, love."

"Aye."

He smiles against her ear at her impression of him and she gives his knee a gentle squeeze when he leaves a quick kiss to her cheek before pulling back. While she excuses herself to use the restroom he flags down the waiter to pay the bill, hoping to have a cab at the ready when she meets him at the exit. The waiter senses his eagerness, returning quickly with the receipt, earning an extra bit of tip for his insightfulness.

Emma smiles when she sees him by the cab, grabbing his hand in hers as soon as he's settled beside her on the leather seat. He gives the driver her address and turns his attention to his date and for the second time today has to hold himself back from telling her he loves her. She looks so happy, cheeks flushed slightly from the wine, her eyes looking down contentedly at their hands held firmly in her lap. Reaching for her with his free hand, he tilts her chin to meet his lips and he nearly groans when she melts against him, her mouth hot against his as she kisses him back in earnest. He wants to haul her into his lap and ravish her, right here in this cab, but he holds himself back _(barely),_ distracting himself with the feel of her tongue curling around his and her fingers threading through his hair.

The cab driver grunts his disapproval, but doesn't ask them to stop, earning him a hefty tip of his own when they finally arrive outside of Emma's apartment. Her hand is warm in his as she follows him down her hallway, his fingers suddenly clumsy when she presses her breasts against his back as he tries to turn his key in her door.

"Emma, you're killing me. Let me get you inside before we end up scandalizing your neighbors."

He almost breaks the key in the lock altogether when she reaches around to cup him over his jeans, laughing softly as she challenges his resolve.

"Bloody vixen…"

By the grace of God, or some other deity, he gets the door open and they stumble inside, his mouth silencing her laughter as he slants his lips over hers, pressing her firmly against the back of the door with his hips. She feels like heaven under his hands, finally exploring the long planes of her back before cupping her ass to hold her in place as he grinds purposefully against her center.

Her mouth tears from his on a moan and he grips her waist, holding her steady as he nips his teeth and lips against along her jaw on a journey to her ear.

"Do you trust me?"

Her body's response to his is addictive, making him want to feel and touch all of her, bring her to the brink and watch her fall over and over again. Her breath is hot against his cheek as she finally finds her voice to respond and he feels her hands pulling restlessly at the back of his shirt.

"…of course I do."

Stepping back from the door, he pulls her forward, locking eyes with her before slowly maneuvering her with his hands at her waist to turn her so she's facing the wall. Pressing his chest against her back, he runs his hands down her arms to thread his fingers between hers, his lips hot on her neck when she responds by arching her back towards him. Placing their joined hands against the wall in front of her, he molds his hips to her backside, too lost in the feel of her to continue without giving in to his own need for a brief moment.

"Emma..."

Her ass pushes back against him and he almost loses all control, groaning against her neck as he tightens his fingers around hers on the wall before slowly releasing his grip.

"Leave your hands."

She peers over her shoulder at him and he's nearly knocked over by the desire he sees there. Leaning in, he presses his cheek against hers as he skims his hand down her sides, his fingertips just barely inching beneath the open fabric of her dress.

"Killian…please…"

Her plea gives him the permission he's been waiting for and he slides his hands along her skin under the thin material until he's cupping her breasts, catching her head on his shoulder as it falls back at his touch. The feel of her nipples tightly pebbled under his fingers and the heavy breaths escaping her lips are like sweet torture, his erection straining uncomfortably in his jeans as he continues to gently rock against her from behind. Sensing she's as ready for the next step as he is, he closes his lips over her earlobe as he slowly inches his hand down her stomach, taking his time to map every dip and curve of her with his fingers.

He feels her intake of breath as his fingertips slide underneath the lace of her panties and he finds himself leaning forward with her as she pushes her hips towards his hand searching for contact. Her warmth is like an ocean, pulling him deeper as he finds and treasures her, her soft cries and moans the most beautiful siren song to his ears.

"You feel bloody incredible, love."

He presses harder against her center, slick with want as he circles with his thumb, barely teasing her entrance with his fingers. Her arms are beginning to shake and he knows she must be close and selfishly, he wants to feel her when she comes. She's tight against his fingers as he finds a gentle rhythm, keeping the pressure of his thumb steady until her hips begin to move against his hand with a more forceful pace.

"Harder…god, Killian…."

Hearing his name from her lips in the throes of passion has him hardening almost to a point of no return and he renews his efforts in earnest, pinching her nipple as he curls his fingers inside of her in search of the spot that he's been told should send her over the edge. When her inner muscles begin to clench and her hand falls from the wall to reach back and grab his hips from behind he knows he's succeeded.

"Oh holy fuck…"

Her voice is ragged and she's shaking against him, rocking her center against his hand as he eases her through her climax, and he swears he will make it his own personal mission to bring Emma Swan pleasure if this is what it is like to witness. She drops her other hand from the wall and tries to turn in his arms, his hands still trapped inside her dress causing an awkward shuffle for a moment until they're face to face and her back is pressed against the wall. Still slightly out of breath, she wraps her hand around his neck and pulls his lips towards hers and he loses himself in the desperation he feels in her kiss. His lips and tongue are at her mercy as she nips and sucks, her hands digging into his back pockets to pull him closer, a move he remembers fondly from their time in that closet.

The feel of him hard against her still sensitive center he can only assume is what causes her to gasp, her lips tearing from his as her head falls back against the wall.

"You okay there, love?"

"Yeah, I think I just need a minute."

He can't help himself from raising an eyebrow to tease her and she rolls her eyes before giving his ass a squeeze with her palm still in his pocket.

"That was a dirty trick and you know it."

"A good pirate always knows how to find his treasure, Swan."

"Oh really? You're a pirate now? So what does that make me, your wench?"

He has no idea how this conversation led down this hilarious path, but he'll play along if it means she'll keep smiling at him the way she is right now.

"No, you are a Royal of the finest blood, lowering herself to my attentions for reasons unknown."

"Well, in that case, I command that we retire to my bedchamber so I can see what other tricks you have up your sleeve."

He hears the request behind her joke and he finds himself desperately searching her eyes for her true meaning.

"Emma?"

"I think 6 years is long enough to wait, don't you?"

"It's been bloody torture…"

Reaching behind her to haul her hips up and wrap her legs around his waist, he leans in to capture her mouth, pouring years of pent up desire into a deep, mind-numbing kiss that leaves them both breathless. Thankful that he knows every inch of her apartment like the back of his hand, he maneuvers them towards her bedroom as she begins a passionate assault of his neck with her teeth and lips and tongue. Her fingers are trying to unbutton his shirt buttons unsuccessfully as they walk and he chuckles at her impatience, her antics giving him something else to focus on besides the rubbing of her center against his erection with each stride.

Finally reaching her bed, he sets her down on her feet and she immediately goes to work on his shirt buttons as he removes his vest, her determination to get him undressed simultaneously adorable and deeply arousing. Arousing wins the battle when she finally get his shirt open and her mouth descends on his collarbone, her tongue and lips tracing his skin as she pushes his arms free from his sleeves. Desperately needing to feel her skin against his, he hooks his fingers into the material at her shoulders and slowly begins to push the fabric down her arms, the miracle that is her dress coming free and pooling at her waist with very little effort.

He can feel his pulse race as he takes her in, nipples still hardened and breasts flushed with desire, firm against his chest as steps forward to slide her dress the rest of the way down her hips. She leans up to kiss him as the material falls to her feet and he groans against her mouth, swiveling his hips back to give her more room as she works his belt free with her hands. In the times he's allowed himself to fantasize about their first time, he's imagined a slow, dizzying experience, but the reality is more desperate, longing and desire fueling them to a frenzied pace.

The feel of her hand as she frees him from his boxer briefs almost sends him over the edge and he'll be damned if he comes before he's inside of her.

"Emma, I'm too far gone for you, love. I need…"

She stills her hand and looks up into his eyes before releasing him to push down forcefully against the waistband of his jeans.

"Get these off then."

Not needing to be told twice, he shoves his jeans and boxers down his legs, remembering at the last moment to dig the condom out of his wallet before adding the last of his garments to the growing pile of clothes on the floor. When he looks up he sees that Emma's moved to the center of her bed, completely bare and waiting for him.

"Gods above, you're perfect."

"Killian, get over here."

Her legs wrap around him as he crawls onto the bed towards her, his forearms snapping to hold his weight as he nearly collapses at the feel of his erection settling hot against her center. Her hands wrap around his waist as he settles himself more comfortably against her, kissing her softly when she leans her lips towards his in invitation. He pulls back to look her in the eyes when the kiss grows heated, knowing he's reaching perilously close to the end of his control.

"Next time, I will explore every inch of you, taste you, cherish you, I promise. I just need you too bloody much right now, love."

"This isn't a one-time thing, Killian. I need you just as much."

He rolls his hips against hers, the tip of him brushing against her core causing a gasp to escape her lips and him to blindly search for the condom next to them on the bed. Leaning back on his knees, he tears the package open, looking away from her eyes only long enough to sheath himself, desperate to keep connected with her as they head into this moment together. When he leans back over her she meets him halfway, wrapping her hand around his neck to pull him down, her lips seeking his as he settles between her thighs. Her hands slide through his hair as she angles her head to deepen the kiss and he palms her breast before sliding his hand down her side to grab her hip. He rocks against her once before lining himself up at her entrance, his lips pulling from hers as a shuddering breath escapes his mouth at the feel of her welcoming him into the warmth of her body.

She's so tight around him and he tries to move slowly, but her legs wind around his waist and her hips push up and suddenly he's fully seated within her and he swears he's seconds from coming apart. Before he dares to move his hips, he closes the distance to her lips and finds her tongue with his as he snakes his hand between them to find where they are joined. Finding her bundle of nerves, he begins to press and circle in hopes that he doesn't leave her behind when he inevitably crashes over the edge. Bracing his other hand beside her head, he begins to move his hips, slowly at first, wanting to prolong this as much as he can and give her time to adjust to his size.

She has other ideas and pulls back from his mouth on a moan as her hands grab his waist to drag him back down towards her with force.

"Faster… move faster…"

He picks up the pace, matching her rhythm as their hips collide over and over, no longer able to work her with his fingers as he's too focused on keeping himself upright as he slams into her.

"Fuck, Emma…I…are you close?"

"Yes, don't stop…don't…Killian, oh my god…"

He hopes she's about to come, because pleasure is coiling in his belly and everything's tightening and he's finds himself unable to hold back any longer. His hips stutter against hers as pleasure courses through him, the tightening of her muscles around him prolonging his release as he pulses inside of her, his body finally collapsing against hers in the aftermath of their joint climax. The sweat along her neck where he's pressed against her mingled with her perfume is sweet and he nuzzles closer, brushing his lips against her skin as he struggles to find a steady breath. Her hands are clamped tight around him and he can feel her body softening as she relaxes, her legs falling to the mattress as she unwraps herself from around his waist.

"Do you need me to move?"

"Don't you dare."

Lifting his head from her neck he peers down at her, so overwhelmed with everything that has occurred that he doesn't think there are words to describe everything he is feeling right now. The looks she's giving him seems to reflect a similar sentiment and he leans in to kiss her sweetly, smiling when she turns her head to bump her nose against his.

"Ruby was right."

"About what, love?"

"She said you'd like that dress."

* * *

 _A/N: Don't worry, you will learn more about what happened to Liam in future chapters. I hope this was worth the wait!_


	10. promises

She remembers falling asleep with him wrapped up behind her, arm around her waist and knees tucked in close, skin pressed to skin as their bodies relaxed into slumber. Waking, she finds herself in a completely different position, one that has her fighting back tears at the simple perfection of it. His face is mere inches away, facing her from the edge of her pillow as he lies on his back, one arm wedged firmly between them and pressing against her breasts. His other hand is holding hers, fingers entwined against his opposite hip underneath the sheet, anchoring her arm low across his waist and her body against his side in a way that feels even more intimate than the press of him against her back felt the night before. For old Emma, waking up this way would have made her feel trapped and panicked, _but not today_. Right now, she only feels contentment and a flutter of giddiness as the early sun shines in on her, lying naked and wrapped around her best friend in the world.

Tightening her fingers around his hand, she snuggles closer, unable to resist the urge to brush her nose lightly against his on the pillow. Lingering thoughts of morning breath and smudged makeup are forgotten when his eyelashes begin to flutter and the dimple in his cheek makes an appearance in advance of his sleepy smile. Instead of opening his eyes, he tugs her hand lightly, just enough to pull her closer so he can brush his lips against hers as he hums lightly against her mouth.

"Morning, Swan."

Her hips twitch against his thigh at the sound of his sleep worn voice, deep and gravely and unbearably sexy in the quiet of her bedroom as he mumbles against her lips. Pulling back far enough to see his eyes she watches as tiny lines appear at the corners when he finally cracks his lids and returns her gaze, a sinful smile slowly curving his lips.

"Morning, Jones."

"Sleep well?"

There's a challenge lingering there behind his seemingly innocent question, the tightening of his hand in hers and the slight press of his thigh between her legs where she's already beginning to tingle in anticipation signaling where is mind is apparently leading. To say she's on board would be a definite understatement as she begins to imagine him fulfilling his heated promise from the night before.

"I'd say I'm pretty well rested. You?"

"Quite…invigorated, actually."

"Good"

His arm between them shifts and before she can even register what's happening, he's perched beside her, their fingers still entwined next to her pillow as he leans in to take her mouth in a passionate kiss. When she feels him hard and thick against her hip, she's overwhelmed by the need to have him between her thighs and she anchors her hand at his waist to try and pull him closer. Groaning against her lips, he grinds against her briefly, but instead of shifting to where she's aching for him he pulls further back. Her protest dies on her lips when his fingers free from her grasp and move to cup her breast, the heat of his palm as he kneads her softly a delicious contrast to the drag of his scruff against her cheek as he moves his lips to her neck, alternating between kissing and sucking until he finds a spot that has her moaning aloud.

"I've dreamed of this, Emma…of you like this. You're more intoxicating than my wildest fantasy…"

The pull in her belly is like a whirlpool at his words, the timbre of his accent as he speaks against her skin and the roll of her nipple between his fingers almost more than she can handle. Her hands wind into his hair as his mouth drifts lower, leaving a trail of wet kisses until his lips replace his fingers and his tongue begins to tease her breast.

"Killian…"

He sucks her nipple between his teeth at the sound of his name and her hips lift from the mattress, his hand now free to roam reaching down between them to press lightly against her abdomen and push her back down. She knows what he's about to do and she clenches her thighs in anticipation, feeling him smile against her breast as he slides his fingers slowly along her hipbone. When his head lifts and she sees the desire in his eyes, her hips fall open of their own accord and her hands fall from his hair to grip the sheets at her side.

The feel of his fingernails brushing against the inside of her thigh has her throwing her head back as she bites her lip, his touch distracting her from noticing that he's begun to shift and move further down the mattress. It's not until his lips press into the soft skin above her belly button does she realize his real intention and she very nearly comes right then. His hand curls around the outside of her thigh as he slides down between her legs, his eyes hot and focused on her as he lifts her leg over his shoulder and breathes out against her center.

"Oh fuck…"

This is all too much and she needs a moment to center herself so she closes her eyes and tries to remember how to breathe.

"Emma, give me your hand."

Prying her eyes open, she looks down at him and sees his outstretched palm reaching for her fist which she still has clenched around the sheet by her hip. She does as bidden and he interlaces their fingers, gripping her tight before leaning down to press his lips against the inside of her thigh, slowly working his way closer to where she needs him until his lips close around her, the breath she's unaware she's been holding escaping her lips on a long moan. Needing more, she arches her hips towards his mouth and is rewarding by his tongue, working her slowly and expertly until she's writhing against him, her fingertips pressing small moon shapes into the back of his hand in a silent plea for release.

His hand around her hip tightens and she feels him moan against her center, the sensation so intense that she digs her heel into his back, her body seemingly out of her own control as he continues to lavish and circle her with his tongue in earnest.

"Killian! God, don't stop….fuck…"

With one last suck just this side of rough, she's crashing, or exploding, or both, but she's gone…warmth vibrating from her center as he slowly coaxes her through her orgasm with his lips, his touch growing softer until he's leaning away from her, watching her from his position between her legs.

"I keep my promises, love."

Still unable to breathe, let alone talk, she pulls on his hand still entwined with hers until he gets with the program and moves back up the bed until he's hovering over her on all fours. Seeing him hard and ready for her, she releases his hand so she can sit up slightly and put her weight on her elbow, freeing her other hand to wrap lightly around his length.

His head drops slightly at her touch and they both watch as she strokes him lightly for a moment, a pained grunt escaping his lips as he looks back up at her with a somewhat wild expression brewing behind his eyes.

"Condoms are in the top drawer."

She has to suppress a laugh at the speed in which he moves from her grip to slide to the edge of her bed and at the sigh of relief she hears when he locates the foiled package near the bottom of the drawer. It's been a while since she's needed those and she's honestly glad he was able to locate one at all. Her legs still feel somewhat like jelly, but she forces herself to move, crawling behind him on the mattress so she can slide her lips down his neck as he sheaths himself with the condom. His head falls back at her touch, his hand reaching behind him to wrap around her neck and hold her in place as she sucks at the spot where his jaw meets his ear.

"Lean back against the headboard…"

He looks over his shoulder at her and she wraps her arms around his waist, tugging him backwards in a way that has them both laughing as she continues to maneuver his body the way she wants it. The mood changes back, however, when she pushes lightly on his chest and presses his shoulder-blades into the wood as she swings her leg over his thighs. Feeling drunk on power and need, she perches back on his legs, leaning forward to kiss him as she takes him in hand again, working him harder than before until he's panting against her lips.

"Fuck, Emma….you're killing me…."

His head connects with the headboard as he arches beneath her, his hands at her hips dragging her forward in desperation for her to show mercy and she realizes the strength of her own restraint simply isn't that strong. Whispering his name, she draws his attention and he locks his gaze with her, lifting her slightly until he's positioned at her entrance and she's sinking down on him, her still sensitive center already fluttering around him as he fills her perfectly and she finally settles fully in his lap. His head falls to her shoulder as curses escape his lips, his fingers digging into her waist when she lifts her hips slightly and begins a slow and gentle slide back down, the feel of him somehow even better than she remembers from last night.

Moving her hands from his shoulders, she pulls his head up and wraps her hands behind his neck, anchoring herself before capturing his mouth in a kiss as she continues to rock against him more steadily. His breath exhales between her lips and then he's kissing her back, his tongue caressing hers as he guides her hips above him, the drag of him deep within her building the tingling sensations in her belly as his hipbone begins to collide with hers from below. It's a languid pace, more rhythm than speed as their arms wind around each other, her hips now pushing instead of lifting, the pull at her center growing stronger as she clings to his waist and pants against his lips.

"Killian…"

"I know… God Emma…"

He grinds her against him harder as he lifts his knees slightly, the slight change of angle all she needs for the tension to burst and send shockwaves as she cries against his sweat slicked neck. She's clamping hard around him now, but she lifts her hips once and slides down hard, wanting him to join her and blissfully collapses against him when she hears his curse of release as he holds her tightly against his chest.

"Emma…love…"

His hands gently ease her head back and he brushes his lips against hers as they both catch their breath, kissing lightly at first and then more fervently until they're falling hard against the headboard together, her hands bracing the impact of his head as they continue their kiss undeterred. She's never felt passion like this before, all encompassing, feeling almost bigger than her, bigger than both of them even. The sweat on his chest is warm against her breasts and she presses closer, soaking up the feel of him all around her, _loving her_. She knows in this moment that this is what this is for him, he loves her. The only thing that scares her about that thought is just how much it doesn't scare her at all.

* * *

 ** _More plot is coming, I promise. I just got caught up and felt the need for them to have this moment together. I'm sure you don't mind, right? ;)_**


	11. stress relief

"You sure you're ready for this, Swan?"

"Ready as I'll ever be, I suppose."

Giving her one last encouraging look and a tight squeeze of his fingers around hers, he braces himself for what's to come and pushes the door open with his free hand. His eyes are still adjusting to the change in light when he hears the first of it, building in volume as they come fully into view.

 _Oh, bloody hell…._

"They aren't serious?"

"I'm afraid so, love. Why are we friends with this lot again?"

He tugs her closer as they take in the scene in front of them together. All of their friends ( _ALL of them)_ are standing in front of the bar, hooting and hollering, adorned with party hats and surrounded by streamers and a ridiculously large banner with "CONGRATULATIONS" sprawled across it. He's pretty sure he sees little graduation caps on it, but he guesses they had to use what they could find on such short notice.

"All of this because we finally went on a date?"

"Aye, looks like they've been pining for _us_ as much as we've been pining for each other."

She tugs lightly on his hand and he turns to face her, the mischievous look in her eye worrying him for a second until she leans in close to whisper in his ear.

"What do you say we give them what they've been waiting for?"

He's not given a chance to respond, to her query at least, to her kiss, that's a different story altogether. Crushing her against his chest, he angles his mouth over hers as she wraps her arm around his neck, barely resisting the urge to press his tongue between her lips and really give their friends a show as she moves her mouth along his in earnest.

"Get a room, you two!"

Ruby's shout from behind the bar has him smiling against Emma's lips and she pulls back, her thumbs lightly tracing his dimples as they both get lost in each other's eyes. He's staggered by her beauty often, but now, when she's looking at him with such pure happiness, he swears he's never seen her look lovelier.

"You know, love, I rather like Ruby's suggestion..."

The light pinch of his cheek as she crinkles her nose and shakes her head signals the end of their private moment and he reluctantly lets her pull him by the hand towards their friends. He pretends to protest, grumbling "there had better be cake" as he stumbles in her wake. There is cake, as it turns out, and it's bloody delicious despite having "It's about time!" sprawled across it in bright red icing. He endures endless ribbing from his mates, David being the worst of the lot, spouting off about true love and destiny and other fantastical nonsense until Mary Margaret thankfully appears at his side and drags him away with a knowing smile. Killian's just finished tipping his beer in her direction when a bottle from across the bar taps against his and he turns to finds Ruby there, a look of sheer triumph gleaming in her eyes.

"Ah, Ms. Lucas. I do believe I owe you thanks."

"I believe you do, Jones. But…I should be thanking you as well, so let's call it even, shall we?"

He furrows his eyes in confusion and Ruby just smiles and takes a sip of her beer.

"Lass, I truly don't know what I have done to deserve _your_ thanks?"

She sets her beer on the bar and leans down on her forearms and he watches as she gives him a smile so genuine that he finds himself holding his breath in anticipation of what she is about to say.

"For loving her so much, Killian. Thanks for waiting for her to come around."

He knows he should probably deflect the love part of her statement, but Ruby has proven smarter than them both already and he truly doesn't see the point in denying it.

"She's worth it."

"So are you, don't forget that."

Dropping his head slightly, he hides his embarrassment with a quick gulp of beer and turns his focus to Emma on the other side of the bar, seeing her deep in conversation with Belle he wonders if she's filling her partner in on their planned road trip.

"Emma told you of our plans, I believe?"

Ruby straightens and grabs her beer, planting her hip against the bar as she too sets her eyes on Emma.

"Yeah, I hope she's ready for this."

His gaze falls to his fingers as he begins to pick the label off the bottle in his hand, nervousness he's been pushing down rising uncomfortably in his stomach at Ruby's words.

"Aye..."

"Killian."

He looks up to see that Ruby is focused on him again and he finds himself straightening his posture, unconsciously reacting in kind to the power behind Ruby's gaze.

"This could get ugly, you know that?"

"I'm prepared for the worst, but hoping for the best. No matter what, I'll be by her side, you have my word."

She releases a long breath through her nose as she nods her head and he feels her hand cover his briefly on his bottle before she's moving along the bar to help an actual customer. He watches her for a moment before looking back at Emma, thankful that she's still too engrossed with Belle to have noticed his conversation with Ruby, lingering fears of what's to come prompting him to lift the bottle to his lips and drain his beer.

* * *

Resting his head against the back of the couch, he tries to focus on the television and not the one-sided conversation filtering in from the kitchen, but he is failing… _miserably_. Hoping to hear a laugh or some other sign that it is going well, he lowers the volume on the remote just one notch more. When he hears her boots on the hardwood he casually turns his head, hoping to gauge how things went by her expression and finds himself breathing a bit easier at the soft smile on her face.

"All good?"

She pauses next to the couch to toe off her boots, her hand bracing herself next to his head while she shuffles from foot to foot to extricate herself from the leather.

"Yeah, it was a little awkward talking after all this time, but she seems happy that we're coming."

"And tomorrow isn't too soon?"

She shakes her head as she slides in next to him on the couch, pulling her legs underneath her so she can lean against the arm and face him in the small space.

"No, she's on maternity leave right now and has ' _all the time in the world'_ , her words, not mine."

Sensing a tinge of bitterness in her voice, he reaches for her hand where it's resting on her knee and waits for her to take it, rewarding her with a smile when she curls her fingers around his and places their joined hands against her ankle. The casual intimacy they've fallen into should surprise him, but it all feels too natural for him to question.

"I'm really glad you're going with me."

"I'm glad you asked."

Silence stretches between them as she seems to get lost in thought and he leans his head back against the couch, watching her as she stares at their joined hands. The freight train of thoughts barreling through her brain right now must be on the verge of giving her a headache and he tries to think of something he can do to soothe her without making her talk, which he knows all too well is not the way to go. Despite not always being successful, Emma prefers dealing with problems in her own way and in her own time. This road-trip, while uncharacteristically spontaneous, is her way of doing that and he'll let this all play out as she needs it to. Squeezing her fingers to draw her attention, she shifts her focus to him and he smiles before letting go of her hand so he can shuffle to the other end of the couch and grab the throw pillow _(the red one she bought for him after seeing his black couch, demanding that he add something of color to the room)._ Placing the pillow in his lap, he settles back against the arm of the sofa and gestures for her to join him.

"Come here and let me put my magic fingers to work."

She hesitates for only a second before she's crawling over to him on all fours and he swears to himself to keep his wits about him, her loose fitting top falling forward to give him a sinful view of her lace covered breasts certainly not helping matters. When she's just about reached his lap she looks up at him, a wicked smile curling her lips as she raises an admonishing eyebrow.

"Magic fingers?"

"Mind out of the gutter, Swan." _(for now)_ "Lie down if you will?"

He pats the pillow and she flops over onto her back, the scent of her shampoo surrounding him as her hair fans out beneath her head when she settles into his lap. She smiles brightly up at him and he reaches for her hand by her side, turning her palm upwards so he can begin to push his thumbs into her skin in gentle circles.

"Oh man, that feels good."

"I'm just getting started. Close your eyes, love."

Expecting at least a little push back at being instructed, he's surprised to see her shut her eyes and give herself over to him, leading him to believe that perhaps she wants to rid herself of some of this excess stress as much as he does. He kneads her palm a few moments longer before lowering his head to brush a kiss along her knuckles, watching her face to see if she smiles _(she does)_ before placing her hand back across her stomach.

Her hair is soft as he gently runs his fingers through so he can gather it and drape it over his lap and out of the way. She sighs when his fingertips press lightly against her temples and then backwards along her scalp, every goosebump he sees appear on her forearms like a badge of honor. When he presses downwards behind her ears, she digs her head into the pillow and curls her toes and he memorizes that spot for future reference. He continues to catalogue every movement and sound she makes as he works, fighting back his own arousal as she responds willingly to his touch. Never having done this for a lover before, he finds himself unprepared for his own response to her as she loses herself to the pleasure of the moment. Slowing his hands, he focuses his attention on her scalp, gently kneading and running his fingernails along her skin. He's distracted momentarily when her tongue peeks out to wet her bottom lip and he finds himself mimicking her actions, wishing he was tasting _her_ sweetness on his tongue.

After a few minutes, her head falls slightly to the side and her breathing starts to even out and he realizes that she's beginning to fall asleep. As much as he would have loved for this massage to turn in a decidedly different direction, he knows that relaxing her into slumber is really what she needs and he's happy to have stopped her thoughts from churning for at least a little while. When he's sure she's out, he slowly lifts the pillow from his lap enough so he can slide out from underneath and gently places it back down against the couch. She rouses momentarily, but not enough to full awake and curls further into the back of the couch as she turns on her side. Kneeling down, he presses a soft kiss along her temple before tiptoeing to the kitchen, hoping not to wake her until he's ready to shift her to his bed.

The planner in him can't help but try to prepare for their road-trip in the morning, despite Emma's protests of "we'll find food on the way" and "if we don't pack it we can just buy it" ringing in his ears. Careful not to make too much noise, he fishes out his insulated lunch bag and drops in the last of the hummus, some baby carrots and reluctantly, a few foil wrapped pop tarts for Emma. Grabbing two travel mugs from the drying rack, he places them beside the coffee maker and sets the timer, knowing Emma without coffee will not a fun traveler make.

When two soft hands suddenly wrap around his waist, he nearly jumps out of his skin in surprise, her socked feet having masked her approach from behind.

"Sorry, didn't mean to alarm you."

She's warm against his back as she rests her cheek between his shoulders and he can't help but pull her arms in tighter and bask in her closeness.

"I thought you were sleeping, love, but I much prefer you where you are… if I'm being honest."

"I woke up and you were gone. I figured you were in here."

"You know me…"

"I do."

Unable to resist any longer, he turns in her arms and cups her upturned face in his hands as he leans in to kiss her sleepy smile. She hums against his lips as he kisses her slowly, every touch, from the gentle brush of her nose against his when he changes the angle of his head to the press of her fingers along his spine, pulling him deeper and deeper. He loves this woman to the very core of himself, a love so ingrained that he knows that he will never be truly happy unless she is as well. To say she has him under her spell would be an understatement.

So, when she pulls back to press her forehead against his and whisper "take me to bed" against his lips, he has no option but to sweep her off her feet and obey. He would have been happy just holding her while she slept this evening, but he definitely isn't complaining about her apparent change of plans. She clings to his lips as he carries her to his bed, refusing to release his neck as he lowers her to the mattress, prompting him to quickly maneuver himself until he's settled with one leg between hers as he braces his arm by her head. Her kisses turn heated as she sweeps her tongue between his lips and he can't help his body's response, his need to feel more of her prompting him to press his growing erection against her thigh wedged tight between his legs. He's harder than he realized and slows his movements, knowing his control is not firm in hand. Moving to bunch the material of her shirt at her waist, he wrenches free of her lips so he can pull it over her head, his lips seeking the swell of her breasts as she immediately arches beneath him.

When she reaches up with her hand to drag the cup of her bra down on her own, he realizes that she may be just as far gone as he is and he wastes no time in seeking her nipple with his tongue. He stops his attentions when she pushes against him to gain access to his shirt buttons, but she's pulling him back down to her as soon as she's parted the fabric to bare his chest. He groans against her breast when the soft skin of her belly presses against his stomach and he grips her ass to keep her in place as he rolls his hips down against her thigh.

"Emma, I need you..."

He's rutting against her now in earnest with his head tucked into the crook of her neck as he seeks her skin beneath her leggings ( _god bless the creator of the legging_ ), as she snakes her hand between them to work on the button of his jeans. The feel of her hand wrapping around him inside of his boxers has him moaning against her skin and he knows he needs to get control of this situation before things come to a very premature end. Lifting himself to his knees, he moves to peel her leggings and panties down her legs as she leans up to fully remove her bra.

He's still working her feet from the leggings when he feels her hands hook into his waistband to tug his pants down and he scrambles to release her from the material with one hand as he reaches blindly for his wallet in his back pocket with the other.

"Restocked your wallet, I see?"

He looks down at her as she continues to push his jeans down his thighs and smiles at her as he tosses his wallet over his shoulder, leaving just the foil packet snug between his fingers.

"You know me, Swan, always prepared. My girlfriend is rather insatiable."

Her hands freeze suddenly and he realizes what he's just said. Taking a deep breath, he searches her face as he curses himself, praying he hasn't scared her with his slip of the tongue. She's definitely shocked, that much is obvious, but he can't quite tell if it's a good sort of shocked or the "holy shit" kind.

When she rises to her knees and shuffles until she's pressed against him, he releases the breath he's been holding in relief, watching as her eyes and then her hands move to the condom to retrieve it from his fingers. He swears his eyes must be bugging out of his head as she rips the foil with her teeth and deposits the wrapper on the bed.

"Yes… _she_ is."

He has to grip her shoulders to keep steady as she works the condom over his length that's pressed against her belly, the warmth of her hands against his oversensitive skin nearly sending him over the edge. The second her hands are back at his waist, he circles her hips with his arms and leans them both back down to the mattress, crashing his lips against hers as he slides against her core to test her readiness. The sound of his name as she begs for him against his lips has him lining up and sinking inside of her without further preamble and her hands reach down to grip his ass to hold him deep as she stretches and adjusts around him.

They're breathing heavy, each inhale and exhale pressing their stomachs together and then back apart until he feels her arch beneath him, a signal to him that she's ready for him to move. He begins to thrust, slowly at first, but when he feels her hand slide beneath his on the mattress to intertwine their fingers, he snaps.

Her legs wrap around him as he sinks deep and finds a fast rhythm, her name escaping his lips each time he hits that spot that makes her dig her heels into his ass.

"Right there, oh jesus…"

"I've got you, love…Emma, you feel so good."

Her hand tightens around his and her neck arches and he prays she's close, prompting him to lean on his arm so he can pick up the pace, the first flutter of her release a relief, as he's teetering on the edge as it is. The sudden rush of her warmth surrounding him has him groaning into her neck as he comes, her walls contracting as her orgasm crests tearing her name from his lips.

When her legs fall slightly and he feels her feet catch in his pants, he chuckles against her shoulder before leaning up to smile down at her. Her eyes are closed and her mouth is slightly open and he leans in to press a kiss to the corner of her lips and then the tip of her nose. This action prompts her eyes to open and she smiles up at him as her hand moves from his waist to slide into his hair.

"You couldn't even wait long enough for me to get my pants off?"

"I'd say my _boyfriend_ was in just as much of a hurry as I was, wouldn't you agree?"

His heart swells as she says the word, as even spoken in jest, he knows she means it. Leaning in, he captures her lips in a sweet kiss, punctuating it with a few quick pecks before rolling to his side to finally free himself from his pants and his shirt. As he's halfway to the bathroom her turns back to look at her to find her leaning on her elbow watching him, unabashedly admiring his assets.

"You know, Swan, I'm fully prepared to cover the bases we missed if you'd care to join me in the shower?"

He doesn't wait for her response, but smiles as he hears the shuffling of sheets and the groan of the mattress springs behind him.

* * *

 _A/N: I smile every time I see your responses to this story, it means so much, so thank you!_


	12. road trip

The early morning light filtering in from between the blinds begins to cast new shadows along the wall she's been staring at for at least an hour, her nerves for the day ahead making it impossible to fall back asleep as she lies in the gentle comfort of Killian's arms. Winding her fingers between his on her stomach, she pulls his arm up until it's resting beneath her chin on the pillow, molding his body even more firmly against her back as he adjusts in his sleep. The soft rush of air against her ear as he breathes sends a shiver down her neck and she allows herself to smile for the first time since waking. She never thought that the mere presence of someone could have such an effect on her, but now that she's stopped hiding how she feels she's beginning to realize just how deep she's let herself fall. Knowing she needs a few more minutes, she lets herself soak up just being with him in the quiet of the morning, the curve of his body against hers protecting her from herself and the dark thoughts that are threatening at the corners of her mind.

 _I'm loved. I'm not alone. I can do this._

Her smile widens when she feels his head shift, followed by the soft press of his lips in the dip of her shoulder and the slide of his leg between hers so he can tangle their feet together. Arching her neck, she presents more of her neck for his attention and his lips curve into a smile against her skin before moving to pepper light kisses in a trail until he reaches her earlobe.

"How long have you been awake?"

She could lie, but she finds herself not wanting to, _not anymore_.

"For a while."

"Anxious?"

"Yeah."

"Can I help?"

She shifts in his arms until she can turn and face him, giving him a brief smile before tucking her head beneath his chin and burrowing into his chest.

"You already are."

She can feel his lips ghost against her hairline as he winds his arms around her to hold her tight, the spicy scent of his body wash from their late night shower still clinging to his warm skin against her cheek. Visions of his wet hair between her fingers, hot water cascading between her breasts as his tongue torturously works her to completion has her cheeks growing warm and she absentmindedly begins to brush her lips against his skin. She's jarred from her rather elicit walk down memory lane by the sudden sound of the coffee maker coming to life in the kitchen and she reluctantly lifts her chin to look up at him, knowing they unfortunately don't have time to get distracted this morning.

"We should probably get up."

He smiles sleepily down at her before lifting his hand from around her waist to rake through his sleep rumpled hair, her body rising with his as he stretches beneath her.

"Aye. The earlier we get on the road, the better."

Because she wants to and well, because she can, she straightens her neck and presses a quick kiss to his lips before rolling away from him and out of reach before he can even think about kissing her back. His manly grumble at her back has her biting her lip as she heads to the bathroom to brush her teeth.

When he appears next to her at the sink a few minutes later, her fingers are just finishing a complicated braid across the crown of her head and he leans against the counter to watch her work. Smiling at him from the mirror, she pulls one of the bobby pins from her teeth to secure the braid behind her ear in a way that it magically disappears under the rest of her hair and out of sight.

"How women learn how to do such complicated things with their hair, I will never know…"

Suddenly she realizes what she's unconsciously done. It was Lily who had taught her. Sitting on a log at the crest of a hill overlooking the suburbs below, they had sat together for hours doing silly girl things, things Emma had never had anyone around to do them with before. Lily had taught her how to braid her hair and Emma had drawn a star tattoo on Lily's wrist with a purple magic marker. It was the best day of her life. She had a friend, _for once_.

"Lily showed me how, actually. Maybe I should take it out? I feel silly now."

His hands come to rest over hers on the sink as he moves to stand behind her, his eyes warm and understanding as he meets her gaze in the mirror.

"I think you look beautiful, Swan. Despite all that happened between you two, she obviously left you with some fond memories. Maybe not hiding from the good will help to deal with the bad?"

 _I love you._ God, she wants to say it so badly, because she feels it… _knows it_. Something is holding her back, fear probably, but whatever it is she really wishes she could push through it. He deserves to know, especially after moments like this one, where he just knows the absolute perfect thing to say.

"Thank you, you're probably right."

He gives her hands a gentle squeeze and moves to the sink to brush his teeth and she starts to apply her moisturizing foundation, the domesticity of the moment definitely not escaping her notice. As if sensing her train of thought, he catches her eye and winks at her in the mirror, his toothpaste dribbling unnoticed from his mouth due to his stupid crooked smile. Or maybe he does realize and he's just trying to make her laugh, which she does, because he's ridiculous and she loves him.

* * *

"Hey, that's my coffee."

"I know, but I finished mine two hours ago and you've barely touched yours." Turning in her seat, she rests her hand lightly on his knee, squeezing it gently before continuing. "I'll make it up to you, I promise."

"Not fair, Swan. Now that you can promise sexual favors, you know I have no power to resist."

He turns from the road briefly so he can give her an admonishing look and she just winks and takes another sip of his coffee. His is black, but she doesn't care, coffee is coffee and she needs to feel that light buzz in her veins if she's going to face this day head on.

"You're a bloody tease."

His hand finds hers on his knee and turns her palm so he can thread his fingers between hers while he drives and she's suddenly thankful they took his car with the automatic transmission instead of her yellow bug. She smiles against his travel mug as she continues to sip and watches the cars pass by out her window. They have about an hour left of the drive, their decision that since Killian packed some food that they'll only stop for gas has them making really good time. Thinking about the pop tarts she found in his cute little lunch bag has her smiling to herself again, knowing how much it must have pained him to include those for her.

"So, Emma, I have a bit of a surprise for you when we get to the city."

Sensing the slight nervousness in his voice, she pulls their hands into her lap and turns to face him again in her seat, wondering what he has up his sleeve.

"Do tell, Jones."

"Uh, well, I know you said we'd find somewhere to sleep after we saw Lily, but I went ahead and made plans for us."

He sneaks a quick look at her and she smiles back, not really sure why he's nervous about telling her that he booked a hotel.

"A former patient of mine works at the Loews and I called him when I knew we were coming and, well, he offered to put us up for as long as we need. It's right downtown and it's quite posh, so I took him up on it. I hope you don't mind?"

"That's really sweet of him, of course I don't mind."

"Oh good, I know this trip is for you, but I just thought if we had a place lined up before we saw Lily, we might avoid any awkwardness if she was to offer for us to stay with her. I assumed that would be something you might not be comfortable with…"

She finds herself at a complete loss for words at his thoughtfulness. Having someone so intent on looking out for her well-being has her throat closing up with so many things she still doesn't quite know how to say, but she knows she has to do something. Spotting the sign from the windshield, she sends a tiny thank you to fate for helping her out in her moment of need.

"Hey, can you pull off at that rest area coming up?"

"Of course, love. I'm surprised you lasted this long after all that coffee."

Managing a small chuckle, she gives his hand a squeeze as he takes the exit and parks in front of the small brick building. Knowing she has to act fast before he moves to get out, she releases his hand and unbuckles her seatbelt before he has the car in park. His hand is just about to pull the key from the ignition when she leans across the center console and turns his head towards her with a hand on his cheek, his eyes wide in surprise as her thumb traces his lower lip.

"Emma?"

Shaking her head, she closes the distance and kisses him hungrily, pulling on his lips between hers for a moment, waiting for him to break from his stupor to respond. The snap of his seatbelt is loud as his mouth begins to move against hers and she slides her hand around his neck to hold him tighter, needing him to feel everything she's trying to say to him through her kiss. His hand is gentle as he cups the back of her head and changes the angle of the kiss, the press of his nose in her cheek and the taste of coffee on his tongue making her want to crawl in his lap and just kiss until they are both breathless. But she knows they can't and she, _rather reluctantly_ , slows her lips against his and pulls back, just enough to share a few breaths with him with their noses pressed together and her thumb tracing the scar on his cheek.

"That was…"

"Me…thanking you."

He leans back and she meets his gaze, hoping to see understanding there so she doesn't have to explain herself further. The hue of his eyes is like the summer sky, light blue with a hint of gold at the center, his expression so full of warmth and love that she can't help but kiss him again, just a soft press of her lips against his to quench her need for just a little bit more. His eyes are closed when she pulls back and she leaves a whisper of a kiss along his scar before dropping her hand from his cheek and she smiles as his eyelashes flutter against his cheekbone and a rosy tint appears on his skin. When he finally opens his eyes to look over at her, she's already settled back on her side of the car and reaching for the door handle.

"Where are you going, love?"

"Uh, you weren't wrong about that coffee."

She pushes her door open and steps out of the car, a small moan escaping her lips as she stretches her legs and raises her arms above her head to work the muscles in her back loose. She shrieks in surprise when Killian's arms are suddenly around her as he crushes his chest against her back, his lips hot and wet against her neck as he slowly nips at her skin.

"I'm going to find it hard to concentrate on driving after that kiss."

"Sorry?"

He chuckles against her neck and they walk forward a few steps together, his arms still around her waist and his hips pressing against her backside. When he moves to her side so they can walk up to the restrooms together, she can't help but look down at their joined hands swinging between them and silently say goodbye to a little bit of the lost girl she's been clinging on to for so long.

* * *

"I think it's the next house on the right."

She glances up from her phone with the address to make sure she has the right place and feels the butterflies come to life when the numbers on the mailbox match the ones Lily sent in her email. This is it. Killian pulls his car into the driveway behind a dark blue SUV and Emma cringes at the sight of those family stick figure decals she hates so much on the back window. Whenever she sees them on the road she can't help but feel envious for a life she didn't have, no one who would have wanted to represent her in sticker form on the back of their minivan.

Killian's hand on her knee breaks her from her negative thoughts and she finds that he's already unbuckled, just waiting for her to be ready. His smile is full of understanding and patience and she doesn't need him to say anything, and he doesn't, he just waits. Taking a deep breath, she unclicks her seatbelt and looks out her window towards the front door, bright red against white siding with tiny mud-covered rain boots propped up against side. There's a small bike toppled over on the grass and one of those bird baths she sees in Home Depot all the time, with what looks like a few matchbox cars floating in the water. Lily had told her that she had a young son, but seeing the evidence of it is making everything feel so real and overwhelming and Emma begins to wonder if she can actually do this. Focusing on the weight of Killian's hand on her knee, she breathes in through her nose and out through her mouth until she feels herself calm before finally reaching for the door handle. Killian's by her side by the time she's stepping out, and she smiles as he shuts her door behind her and pulls her close.

Closing her eyes, she relaxes further at the soft touch of his thumbs at her temples and the light press of his lips on her forehead. Her butterflies pick up again, but for very different reasons this time and she can't help the smile from curling her lips at how easily he can distract her thoughts.

"Okay, let's go. She's probably wondering what's taking us so long to knock."

"I'm ready if you are, Swan."

She reaches for his hand and he doesn't hesitate to entwine his fingers with hers, holding on a bit tighter than usual, making her wonder if perhaps he's a bit nervous as well. He leads the way up the brick walkway, but she knocks when they reach the door. When a shadow falls behind the curtain she feels him squeeze her hand, causing her to look up at him and they are still smiling at each other when the door swings open.

"Emma!"

"Hi, Lily."

* * *

 _A/N: Thanks to all of you who take the time to leave a review. I smile every time I get a new notification! I love hearing what you think!_


	13. simple truths

His fingers are probably turning white from the force of Emma's grip as he smiles warmly at Lily, silently hoping he can help this reunion run as smoothly as possible without adding any more damage to already battered hearts.

"I'm so glad you came."

"Yeah, oh…this is Killian. I mentioned him on the phone."

Noting the tenseness in her tone, Killian reluctantly pries his fingers from Emma's so he can shake Lily's outstretched palm.

"Lovely to meet you, Lily."

He can feel the nervousness lingering in her handshake, overly firm as if she is trying to portray an ease with the situation that she obviously doesn't quite feel. Before releasing her palm completely, he presses down lightly with his thumb on her pressure point to discretely keep her attention so he can reassure her with a smile. Her nod is almost imperceptible, but her deep brown eyes warm a bit and he sees her release a long breath as she lets go of his hand.

Emma shuffles slightly and he leans into her, winding his now free arm around her waist to pull her closer, the feel of her hand as she clutches the fabric at the base of his spine threatening to break his heart.

"Come on in…"

Lily gestures for them both to enter her home, turning her very pregnant belly out of the way as Killian leads Emma through the doorway. It's an awkward shuffle in the hallway as Lily closes the door and moves past them into the kitchen, offering them both lemonade and cookies which she has set out on the table in the corner. The house is small, but inviting, with crayon drawings on every inch of open space on the refrigerator and toys haphazardly stuffed in cubbies along the wall. He can't help the slight pang of longing as he takes in the home, the obvious signs of family everywhere you look.

"Your lad is quite the artist."

Emma tenses and Lily blushes and he can't help but feel like a willow tree, caught between two strong winds that just need to find a way to blow in the same direction for a short period of time.

"He's definitely in that phase. I don't think there's a scrap of paper in this house without crayon on it somewhere. You'll meet Arthur later. I thought it might be nice to catch up without him under foot. He can be a bit of a handful."

"We look forward to meeting him, and your husband, Chris is it?"

"Yep, they'll be home in a little bit. Have a seat…you guys must be tired from the trip."

Killian's about to respond when Emma finally joins the conversation, tugging his hand into her lap as soon as they are seated at the table.

"It wasn't too bad. Killian's quite the planner and we made good time."

Lily's hand settles on the curve of her stomach as she sits across from them at the table, a wide smile on her face as she looks between them.

"So, you two, how long have you been together?"

"Six years."

Killian's head snaps in Emma's direction and she squeezes his hand, refusing to meet his gaze as a blush creeps up her neck in response to her hastily spoken stretch of the truth.

"Oh wow, how did you meet?"

"Ah, let me tell this story, love. It's a good one."

Emma finally meets his eyes and they share a knowing smile, as the story of how they met is, in fact, a great tale _(one they both love telling)._ He's still smiling at Emma when he begins to speak, too lost in the sudden lightness in her features as he begins to reminisce.

"It was on Halloween, actually. The hospital where I work set up a haunted trail to help raise money for the veterans and I, somehow, got roped into being one of the performers. All was going well until this fiery lass crossed my path. My first introduction to Emma was with her fist to my face as she knocked me unconscious after I jumped out at her from under a pile of mannequins dressed as corpses. She definitely knows how to make a lasting impression."

"You were not unconscious and you know it. Such a drama queen..."

"I was, too, Swan. You pack quite the wallop."

Emma rolls her eyes dramatically and he has the urge to kiss her, as he has every time they've told this story together before, so he does. It's just a light kiss to her temple, but it brings a smile to her lips as she turns her head to look over at him.

"You two are adorable. Sounds like love at first fight."

"Aye, it was for me. Emma took a bit more convincing, but I won her over eventually."

When Emma's mouth falls open slightly he realizes what he's said. She's obviously confused and he can't tell if she thinks he's just playing along or if it means it, but before he can decipher much she's turning back to Lily, her expression masked once again behind a plastered on smile.

"Enough about us, tell us about you. How did you meet Chris?"

All he can do is tighten his fingers around hers and hope that she's okay as he turns to listen to Lily, silently cursing himself for not thinking before speaking.

"We met at a bar. I know, super exciting story compared to yours."

Lily continues her tale, but he can't concentrate on anything but Emma. Her body is tense against his and he can see her going through the motions, nodding when appropriate, laughing at all the right moments, seemingly engaged while remaining skillfully detached. It's only when the conversation turns to Arthur and his little sister on the way does her façade being to crack, the longing he had felt earlier appearing behind her eyes as she leans a bit further into his side. Moving their hands from her lap to his, he runs his free hand along the inside of her wrist in attempt to soothe her and calm the emotions he knows she doesn't wish to show.

"Emma, before Arthur and Chris get here, I...I really wanted to…well, apologize."

Killian stills the movement of his hand and looks between the women, seeing tears threatening to fall from Lily's eyes as Emma looks on with a shocked expression, obviously unprepared for this moment coming so soon.

"Love, would you two like some privacy?"

He feels Emma's response before she speaks, her fingertips digging into the space between his knuckles as she holds on for dear life.

"No, stay, we don't have any secrets."

She's looking at him pleadingly and he nods, resuming his caress of her wrist as he smiles back at Lily to continue.

"Sorry, lass, please go ahead."

Lily nods and takes a deep breath, looking pleadingly at Emma before continuing.

"You were my best friend, Emma, and I ruined everything. I was a messed up kid and not a single day has gone by that I haven't regretted the decisions I made that day. I let stupid jealousy cloud my judgment and wish I could take it all back."

"Jealousy? Of what? I had nothing?"

"You were living on your own, making your own decisions, no one telling you what to do. You were so strong and I, well, I felt so weak and I just wanted to be you so badly. I thought that if I ran away like you did, took off on my own, that I'd feel better, different, but I was wrong."

His body tenses as he sees the flicker of anger begin to spark behind Emma's eyes and he applies pressure to her wrist in a futile attempt to get her attention.

"So you took everything I had? Do you have any idea what happened to me after that?"

"Emma, love…"

She rips her hand from his grasp as she fixes him with a hard stare, and he gets the message. _Back off, Jones…_

"I wound up in jail after trusting yet another person who ended up letting me down. I only met him because I had nowhere to sleep and ended up stealing a car with him in it! You, you had a home and family who chose you and loved you and now you say you wanted to be me? I don't even know what to say to that?"

"God Emma, I am so sorry. I never meant for any of that to happen, you have to believe me."

Tears are streaming down Lily's cheeks and Emma is staring down at her fists, balled tight against the top of the table. Not one to deal well with out of control situations, Killian desperately tries to think of what he can say or do to mediate while making sure Emma knows he is firmly in her corner. He straightens his back and takes a deep breath, but is stilled when he feels Emma's hand cover his once again. He looks over to find her looking back at him, a single tear having escaped now halfway down her cheek. She closes her eyes and he leans in, brushing the tear away with his thumb as he presses a kiss to her forehead, her deep breaths caressing his throat as she works to calm herself down.

"I'm okay."

When he leans back her eyes are open again and he can see that thankfully, the fire has gone out. She turns her attention back to Lily, who's sniffling quietly across the table, clearly overcome with everything that has transpired.

"Lily…"

He watches as Emma reaches her hand across the table towards her old friend, new tears spilling from both of their cheeks as their hands connect for the first time in 15 years.

"I'm sorry, Lily, nothing that happened to me was your fault. As easy as it would be to blame you, it's simply not fair to either of us. We both made mistakes and bad decisions, but we, well, we turned out alright in the end, didn't we?"

"Yeah, I'd say we did. Emma, I'm so glad I found you. I've been waiting for this day for so long…"

"I'll be honest, I wasn't sure if I was ready to see you again, but I'm glad I came. I think we both needed this."

Staying still as he can to not interrupt this moment, Killian takes in Emma, pride swelling in his chest at everything he has just witnessed. He can see why Lily was jealous of her all those years ago. She's bloody brilliant.

"Killian, it's okay, you can breathe."

Emma smiles as she turns to face him and he does, in fact, let out a long breath in relief.

"I'm just going to run to the powder room to freshen up, I'll be right back."

Killian jumps from his seat to help Lily up and she squeezes his arm a little tighter than necessary before letting go, disappearing down the hallway as quickly as her pregnant body will allow. Looking back over at Emma, he reaches his hand towards her and she comes willingly, sighing against his neck as she wraps herself up in his embrace. The feel of her in his arms as she allows him to comfort her, it's all he's ever wanted and he will greedily soak it up as long as he is able.

"You sure you're okay, Swan?"

Her nose brushes against his throat as she nods, but he registers her slightly ragged breathing and tightening of her arms around his waist as her true answer. She's not okay, but she's trying to be. He knows all too well the struggle of facing your past and the long journey ahead, but she's taken the first and hardest step.

Feeling her shift against his chest, he loosens his arms and looks down at her to find her smiling up at him, her eyes shining with just a trace of unshed tears. He bends and she rises and their lips meet in the space between, hers saying thank you while his confess his love. She tastes of salt and lemons and he forgets where they are, kissing her softly until he needs to pull back to breathe. Her lips chasing his has him smiling as he presses his nose against hers and he watches as her eyelashes flutter until she's looking back at him with a smile of her own.

"Chris just called and they'll be home in a few…oh, sorry, didn't mean to interrupt!"

He has to chuckle to himself at the synchronicity in which he and Emma turn to face Lily, knowing his cheeks are undoubtedly as red as Emma's at being caught in such an intimate moment. Giving Emma's waist one last squeeze, he reluctantly drops his arm from around her waist as he smiles over at Lily.

"Sorry, we… got caught up in a moment. You were saying?"

Lily smiles back and shuffles back into the kitchen, crossing over to the refrigerator and pulling out a gallon of milk.

"Oh, my husband should be here in a few minutes with Arthur. He may be a bit cranky, I'm afraid. Not having a nap is never a good idea for the little monster."

The brush of Emma's hand against his has him looking over to her as he intertwines their fingers and he can see her smile tensing as she listens to Lily speak of her boy. Plans for the day were never quite laid out beyond this initial meeting and he begins to think that perhaps an early exit might be the best thing for everyone today. They don't have to leave Philly tomorrow and he hopes that Lily might be open to another visit before they head home.

"We'll get out of your hair after we have a chance to say hello. It's been a long day for us and I'm sure you could use some rest yourself. If your schedule allows, perhaps Emma and I can treat you and your family to dinner tomorrow night?"

He can feel Emma's eyes on him as he waits for Lily's response, watching as she finishes pouring milk into a little sippy cup adorned with cartoon dragons.

"Oh, that would be lovely. I would really like to spend more time catching up. There's a nice family restaurant not too far from here that Arthur loves if that's okay? When dealing with taking a 5 year old out to dinner, it's good to go somewhere he _might_ behave."

Killian looks to Emma before responding, wanting to make sure she is on board with this new plan before agreeing further. The relieved smile on her face tells him all he needs to know.

"Keeping the little lad happy works with us, love."

As if on cue, the front door opens and the sound of little feet on the hardwood precedes the appearance of a mop of brown hair and little legs barreling towards Lily's outstretched arms.

"Mama!"

Bending as best as she can in her condition, Lily presses her hand between Arthur's shoulder blades as he grasps onto her legs, leaving a kiss to his head before looking up to smile at Killian and Emma.

"And this….is Arthur."

Arthur turns his head slightly, but quickly moves to hide behind his mother, obviously a bit shy at seeing strangers in his home. Killian gives Emma's hand a squeeze before letting go so he can kneel and put himself more at Arthur's level before addressing the child. Meeting families at the hospital during trying times has helped him learn the best way to connect with children who may feel a bit uncomfortable.

"Hello Arthur, my name is Killian and this is Emma. We are very happy to meet you, lad."

"He talks funny, Mama."

"Arthur!"

Killian swivels on his heels at the sound of a male voice over his shoulder, finding Lily's husband Chris standing behind Emma in the hallway. He's a tall man, lanky with dirty blonde hair, obvious amusement at his son's lack of tact apparent in his broad grin. Emma turns first and Chris moves to shake her hand, giving Killian a chance to look back at Arthur and bestow him with a wink before rising to his feet to greet his father.

"Chris, pleasure to meet you, mate."

Chris shakes his outstretched hand with a smile before looking back down at his son.

"Likewise…sorry about that, Arthur hasn't heard many British accents before."

"Nothing to worry about, he's right, I do talk funny."

That elicits a tiny muffled giggle and he just catches Arthur's eye before he dives back behind his mother's back. He's winning the kid over, he can feel it.

Emma's arm winds around his elbow and he directs his attention back to her, pulling her closer as she tucks her hand around his bicep. She's watching Arthur as well with a small smile, a tinge of sadness in her eyes that he wishes he could chase away, if only he knew how.

"Chris, we hate to meet and run, but we're a bit tired I'm afraid. Lily has just agreed to let us take your family out to dinner tomorrow though, so you aren't free of us just yet."

"Oh, that sounds great. Did she mention the place…"

'Yes, honey, already covered."

It takes a few more minutes to finally make their way from the house, mostly due to his own need to try to get Arthur to say goodbye, but settles for a shy wave from the doorway as they are pulling out onto the road from the driveway.

"You're really good with kids."

Looking over quickly, he sees that Emma is curled sideways in her seat, legs tucked underneath her with her head against the headrest facing him.

"Aye, I seem to do pretty well with them usually. Probably because of my funny accent…"

He winks at her and makes sure he succeeded in making her smile before turning back to the road. She fiddles with the navigator on her phone until they hear Siri start giving directions to the hotel and he's thankful when he realizes that they are only 10 minutes away. She's quiet beside him as they drive and he can't help but wonder how the emotional turmoil he knows is churning within her will eventually emerge as the evening progresses.

* * *

"Feeling better, love?"

He's on his feet and crossing to her as she emerges from the bathroom, smiling as he takes in the fluffy hotel robe wrapped around her and her mass of curls piled high on her head. She's free of makeup, her skin rosy from the hot shower, and he has to stop himself from pushing her against the nearest wall and ravishing her, she looks so bloody gorgeous.

"Yeah, the shower helped."

The press of her palms against his bare chest as he stops in front of her has him closing his eyes briefly, allowing himself a moment to breathe her in as the lavender scent of the hotel soap washes over him as he presses a kiss to her cheek. Her arms wind around him before he has a thought to lean back and he rests his cheek against hers as she molds herself as close to him as she can get. She's heavy in his arms and he realizes she's finally letting go, and he holds on tighter as her tears begin to wet his skin.

"Emma, sweetheart…"

He rocks her gently with a hand in her hair as she sobs quietly against his throat, her fingers digging almost painfully into the muscles of his back as she tries to stay upright in his arms. Hoping she won't protest, he pulls back slightly so he can reach down and place an arm under her knees, lifting her so he can carry her the short distance to the bed. She doesn't resist, just clings tightly to his neck until he places a knee on the mattress to set her down, wasting no time to lie down facing her as soon as she's settled. The terry cloth of the collar of the robe tickles his chin as she curls into his chest, her arms tucked in between them as he holds her snuggly against him. Pulling the pins from her hair, he runs his fingertips along her scalp until he feels deep breaths begin to replace her sobs. When she lifts her head and he sees the ghost of the lost girl he's been trying to help her say goodbye to looking back at him, he has to fight back tears of his own.

"I'm sorry."

"Emma? What…"

"For lying before…I just couldn't bear having her think that I've been alone all this time while she's been part of a happy family. I just…I'm sorry."

Suddenly, he knows what he has to do. She has to know.

"Emma, you didn't lie, well, not really."

Her eyes narrow at him in confusion and he moves his hand from her hair to her cheek, holding her so she can't look away as he says what he needs to say.

"You haven't been alone, love. We've been _together_ since the moment we met. Neither of us have dated anyone else, we've been each other's plus one to every social function for the past six years and we spend almost every free night that we have together. You finally kissing me was not the beginning of _us_ , Emma, we've been dating for quite some time."

"Killian, we've been friends, but there's more to dating than just being friends."

"You know that we've been more than that, love. You're so convinced that no one could love you and want to stay that you refuse to see the truth. So, let me be clear. I _didn't_ lie today. I have loved you since the moment we met. And whether you are ready or able to believe it, I have absolutely no desire to ever leave your side."

His heart feels as though it is about to race right out of his chest and when her eyes shift down he's sure she can feel it pounding against her palm where she's pressed against his skin. Fresh tears are pooling in her eyes as she looks back up at him and he holds his breath in wait of her reaction.

"Killian…"

His name sounds like a prayer on her lips and he silently vows to show her how true his words are as long as he lives if she will allow it.

"Emma, I am so in love with you and I've been dying inside not being able to tell you for so long, you have to…."

Her lips find his and whatever he was going to say flees his thoughts as she leans fully into him, responding to his declaration with the force of her kiss. She frees one hand from between them to wind her fingers around his head and he responds in kind, tangling his own hand into her curls as her lips part against his. The hot slide of her tongue and the soft moans escaping her throat are like a siren's song to his desire and he wants nothing more than to give her everything he has to give.

He moves to change the angle of the kiss and she pulls her lips back, but keeps a firm grasp to his neck, bringing him with her as she begins to roll onto her back. She's dragging him down towards her as she begins to speak, her lips brushing his as she whispers what she needs.

"Killian, show me…please…"

Needing naught a second to comply, he groans against her lips as he moves his hand between them to work the tie of her robe loose, the feel of her warm skin beneath his fingertips like the softest silk as he slides inside the fabric to grip her waist. Brushing his thumb along her skin, he works his way up until her breath escapes against his lips as she responds to his palm as he gently cups her breast. Moving to caress her nipple, he shifts his leg until his thigh is pressed firmly against her now bared center, the heat of her scorching through the thin material of his boxer briefs. He needs to see her, so he leans back on his elbow and urges her to free her arms from the robe, his eyes hot on her as he watches her creamy skin reveal itself in full for his complete attention. His fingers seek the pink fullness of her nipple and he watches as she settles back down on the mattress, her body writhing slightly as he slowly rocks his thigh against her core.

Her neck arches against the pillow and like a moth to a flame, his lips seek the soft skin of her throat, sucking and nibbling, applying more pressure when her hand suddenly reaches up to dig into his hair. He can feel the deep tug of his erection as it intensifies against her leg, the need to be inside of her threatening to overwhelm the moment if he doesn't move to take care of her first. Lifting his head from her neck, he shifts until his weight is firmly on his arm and captures her lips as he moves his hand down her waist until he's reached her hip. He teases the skin at the crease of her thigh with his fingertips as he begins to part her lips with his own, sweeping his tongue into her mouth as he finds her slick bundle with his thumb. He soaks up her gasp of pleasure, reveling in the feel of her hand as she covers his against her center, pressing his hand down harder as she begins to roll her hips upwards.

He can't stop himself from watching their hands work together, her tight stomach clenching as he aligns his palm over her core and presses two fingers inside of her heat.

"So beautiful…

Emma's hand moves to grip his wrist as he finds a gentle rhythm and he lifts his head to kiss her again, swallowing her moans as he mimics the movements of his fingers with his tongue. Her lips tear from his as her fingers dig into his wrist, and he watches enraptured as her hips begin to move erratically as she chases her release against his hand.

"Killian, Killian…oh god…"

He wishes he was inside of her in this moment, feeling her clamp around his length instead of his fingers, the slick heat of her making his erection pulse almost painfully against her hip.

Turning to face her, he curls his fingers and coaxes her gently through her orgasm, pressing down lightly with his palm as she breathes his name against his lips.

"That's it love…"

Her eyes open slightly and her hand releases his wrist and he smiles down at her, not realizing what she's about until he feels a strong tug on the leg of his boxer briefs.

"Killian, I need all of you, please…"

Not even attempting to hide his sigh of relief, his hand leaves the warmth of her center to hook into the waistband of his boxers so he can slide them down his legs.

"Emma, god, you have no idea how much I need you, love."

She's reaching for him before he has time to lean away in search of a condom and he has to steady himself on the mattress as the pleasure of her touch sends a shudder up his spine. Her hand is warm from her fierce grip on his wrist and he loses himself in the feel of her stroking him, pulses of pleasure already beginning to build rapidly beneath her fingers.

"Killian, I'm on the pill. No condom, not tonight."

Her words break through his euphoria and he places his hand over hers to still her movements, his eyes searching hers as he looks down at her, not truly believing his own ears.

"Emma, are you sure?"

"I trust you, Killian. Make love to me."

She's not pleading, she's merely telling him what she needs, what they both need and he trusts her to know that it's right. He gently pulls her hand from around him to lace their fingers together and lifts her arm above her head on the pillow, stretching her body beneath him so he can settle between her thighs, he shifts his weight onto his opposite arm so he can look down at her.

"I love you, Emma Swan."

He's not surprised to hear the thick emotion behind his words and as she smiles up at him he realizes that he doesn't need to hear her say the same, not in this moment. Being able to finally voice his feelings is all he needs.

Leaning down, he slides his mouth against hers as he rubs his length against her center; the feel of her against his skin without any barrier is like heaven and hell as he struggles for his control. Her free hand grips his hip and he stops his movements, stilling his lips against hers as he allows her to guide him until he's finally sliding into her warmth.

"Emma…"

"I know…"

She's so ready for him that he's fully seated in seconds and he rests his forehead against hers as they both breathe heavily against one another for a blissful moment. Unable to stay still any longer, he leans in and draws her bottom lip into his mouth as he lifts his hips, the intense drag of her walls around him like nothing he's ever experienced. When her legs wrap around his waist and she begins to move with him, he loses all sense of time and space, nothing but the pleasure they can bring to one another existing as their bodies move in tandem in the quietness of the room. Sweat begins to build everywhere they touch, between their palms, where his chest is pressed against her breasts, beneath her fingers at the small of his back and along their stomachs as their skin slides together in their sensual dance. Her mouth his hot against his as he kisses her deeper, longer, their joint cries of pleasure as her muscles begin to spasm around him the only thing capable of prying his lips from hers.

He rests his head forehead against hers as he picks up the pace of his hips, sliding in and out faster, shallower, her hand slippery against his back as she tries to grip him tighter. Desperately needing her to come, he slides in deep, angling his hips as he pulls back ensuring that he moves against her in the right place to finally make her come undone. Allowing himself to finally release inside of her, the pulsing of her climax pulls a deep groan from his lips as he experiences the most intense orgasm of his life.

"Emma, god I love you…"

His hips are still stuttering against hers as she pulls her hand free from his fingers so she can wrap her arms around his waist and hold him against her as he collapses. She lifts her chin until her mouth is a breath away from his, waiting until he opens his eyes to look down at her to whisper "I know" against his lips.

* * *

 ** _A/N - I love to hear your comments, so keep those reviews coming! It means a lot to know that people are enjoying the story. This chapter was a hard one to write, so I hope it lived up to expectations!_**


	14. a new day

From her perch on the sofa, Emma watches at the rising sun casts a glow over the city and bright orange rays reflect off the many windowed skyscrapers lining Market Street below. A new day is dawning, both outside and in, thoughts of the last twenty four hours swirling in her brain as she quietly sips her coffee _(thank god for in room Keurig machines)._ Her eyes wander to the man sleeping soundly mere feet away, his arms wrapped tightly around her abandoned pillow and she can't help but wonder if he believes he is holding her instead. An hour ago he was. When she awoke wrapped in his embrace she realized that she needed a moment to think, a bit of space to wrap her head around what she is feeling and his arms felt too good, his comfort too easy. She's not accustomed to easy.

He loves her. She knew it to be true before, but now that the words have been spoken aloud and the earth-shattering lovemaking that followed, she woke feeling as though everything really _has_ changed. But the longer she's sat here she's begun to wonder if maybe it hasn't? If he's truly loved her all this time, _which she believes to be true_ , the only thing actually changing is her. Hiding her face behind her mug, she continues to watches him sleep, her mind wandering to the night before and his declaration and she realizes something was missing… _her fear_. She's not scared, not at all. The idea of letting him love her, and loving him in return, feels absolutely right. In fact, the only thing she fears is the thought of him waking alone, any second of him questioning her feelings not something he deserves.

Placing her coffee down softly on the coffee table, she slowly tiptoes back to the bed, the hotel sheets cool against her skin as she slides in behind him under the covers. Not wanting to wake him just yet, she carefully slips her arm around his ribs, his chest warm against her palm as she rests her head beside his on his pillow. She could get used to this, waking every morning by his side, being able to touch him whenever she wants. The t-shirt she had slipped on earlier has ridden up, giving her a small strip of skin to skin contact and she can't help it, _it just isn't enough_. Plans of letting him sleep now gone, she slides closer until she's fully molded to his back as her lips seek the nape of his neck, the tiny hairs tickling her nose as she nuzzles and pecks softly at his skin. He finally begins to stir, releasing the pillow from his arms to cover her hand with his, pressing her fingers tighter against his sternum as he emerges from his slumber and takes in her new position.

Sliding her chin until it rests on his shoulder and tucking her nose against his ear, her whispered "hi" prompts him to twist his head towards her in what seems like a search for her lips. Wanting his kiss just as much, she shifts backwards just enough to allow him to turn in her arms, crawling atop his chest as soon as he's on his back. His expression is far from sleepy as she wraps her hand around his neck to pull his mouth towards her, the warm press of his hands beneath her t-shirt at her back stoking the fire that never seems to fully go out whenever he's near. The heady sensation of kissing him awake takes over, his soft groans of pleasure fluttering the butterflies in her stomach to life as he wholeheartedly responds to her kiss. When she sweeps her tongue past his lips, she feels him pull back for a moment, not fully stopping kissing her as he tries to speak.

"You taste like coffee…"

His tongue is pressing back against her lips before she can respond and she grants him access, letting him taste her as she takes the opportunity to swivel her hips until she's straddling his waist. It's in this moment she remembers that while she may have put on panties and a t-shirt, he's still very much naked as she feels him already growing hard against her backside. His hands beneath her shirt grip her harder at the contact and she can't resist rocking her hips back against him, want pooling between her thighs at the thought of all the things she wants to do to him in this moment. It hits her hard, this deep pull to bring him pleasure, a need to shower him with all the love he's been bestowing on her over the last few days.

Pulling her lips from his, she leans back until she can rest her hands against his chest, her body rising and falling with his deep breaths as he looks up at her with lust in his eyes and a smile on his kiss swollen lips. She keeps his gaze as he slides one hand from around her waist to cup her breast beneath her shirt, her lower lip finding its way between her teeth as her nipple begins to tighten between his skillful fingers.

"Why do you have clothes on?"

She smiles down at him, knowing the question is loaded with meaning, but reaches down to pull her t-shirt over her head instead of answering. _They'll talk later._

"I hadn't intended to seduce you this morning, but apparently, I'm powerless to your dashing charms."

He tries to sit up but she presses him back down with her hands against his chest, shaking her head at him as she slowly begins to trace his collarbones with her fingertips.

"Nope…my turn."

She watches as his tongue peeks out to wet his lips and she fights the urge to kiss him again as there are other parts of him she's very much looking forward to paying attention to this morning. Before his mouth can delay her further, she lifts her hips and shimmies down until she's resting on his upper thighs, the press of his erection against her stomach distracting to say the least. From her new vantage point she's finally able to take all of him in, her lips tingling as she thinks about tracing the line of dark hair across his chest and down his stomach, wondering what he will taste like on her tongue. Curious to see his expression, she flicks her eyes back up to his face, the unbridled passion looking back at her almost breaking her resolved to take her time.

"Are you trying to kill me, love?"

His hands move to her waist and she can feel the tension in his arms, sensing his fierce grip is counteracting his desire to drag her forward against him where she knows he's aching for her touch.

She lifts her eyebrow in answer to his query, a wicked smile curving her lips as she smooths her hands up his abdomen, lowering herself as she goes until her mouth finds one of his nipples, sucking it between her teeth as she begins to worry it with her tongue. One of his hands releases her waist to wind into her hair, the deep moan she hears succeeding to twist her belly into a needy, wanton mess. Releasing him from her teeth, she drags her tongue along the now swollen bud before changing tactics to press hot, open mouthed kisses across his chest, the salty musk of his skin like a drug and she just wants more, more, _more_. Shifting her weight to her knees, she scoots further down the mattress, her fingertips continuing to map his ribs as she rearranges herself between his legs.

His hand covers one of hers against his stomach and she doesn't hesitate to bring it to her lips, kissing his fingertips as she looks up at him, making sure he sees her desire before he finds the need to question it. It's been a while since she's done this, but she doesn't remember ever feeling this way, the tension between her thighs coiled like a spring as if _he's_ the one between her thighs poised to make _her_ come undone. Releasing his fingers from her lips, she presses his hand down against the mattress, holding him in place as her other hand slowly wraps around his length. His hips jerk of their own accord at her touch and he releases a ragged breath, his fingers beneath hers gripping the sheet as she lowers her lips and begins sucking a mark into the skin beneath his hipbone.

"Fuck, oh bloody hell…"

At the sound of his breathy curse, she lifts her head slightly so she can finally slide her lips over the hard heat of him, pressing her tongue against the tip as she continues to stroke with her hand at the base. His free hand finds its way into her hair, not guiding, just lightly cupping her head as she takes him further into her mouth, his heaving breaths and deep grunts urging her on as she finds a steady rhythm.

"Emma, god, I've dreamed of this…you feel amazing….."

Her eyes dart up to him at his heated words and she sees that he's watching her, his eyes dark with need, jaw slack as he takes her in. She releases her lips slightly so she can swirl her tongue around him and his eyes clamp shut, his fingers in her hair tightening as his hips begin to shake beneath her.

"Oh fuck…"

Watching him, she can't help the rush of heat from pulsing in her core, her need for release building almost as fast as his. As if he senses her desperate thoughts, his eyes suddenly open and his hand in her hair moves to her cheek, gently guiding her back until she releases him from her mouth.

"Together…"

Realizing his meaning immediately, she sits up just enough so she can hook her hands in her panties and shimmy them down her legs, kicking them free as she crawls on the mattress towards him like a cat stalking its prey. His eyes are hot on hers as he wastes no time in gripping her waist to guide her down over his length, her fingers digging into his skin and a deep moan escaping her lips as she stretches to accommodate him.

She tries to keep her eyes open and on him, but when he brushes his thumb against where they are joined, she can't focus on anything but the coil of pleasure as it begins to unwind at his touch as she begins to rock. She can feel him starting to swell inside of her and she leans back to grip his thighs, picking up the speed of her hips as the new angle combined with the press of his thumb give her the unrelenting friction she needs.

"Oh fuck, I'm close…Killian, please tell me…"

"God yes…"

She feels one of his arms grab her waist and she finds herself suddenly face to face with him, his chest flush against hers as he pulls her mouth to his by his hand around her neck. She almost cries at the perfection of the moment, his lips hot against hers as she falls apart around him, her hips continuing to rock in his lap until she feels the warmth of his release. His lips pull from hers on a groan as he comes and she moves from her knees to wrap her legs around his waist to press herself closer, molding her lips to his shoulder as he pulls her into a fierce hug.

"You were trying to kill me."

She wiggles in his lap, pulling another groan from his lips and a moan from hers before she finds the breath to laugh softly in his ear.

"Well, they don't call it the little death for nothing."

"Big death, love… _BIG_."

* * *

"Okay, history nerd, where to?"

Stopping mid-stride to dramatically cross his hand over his heart, he bestows her with a rather ridiculous pout.

"You wound me, Swan."

How one man can be a swoon-worthy sex god one minute and an absolute child the next, she has no idea. Grabbing his free hand, she tugs him along beside her to get him moving again.

"Just own it, Jones."

The next five hours are all his, as she has promised to do as many any touristy, historic things he wants until they have to head to meet Lily's family for dinner. She wants to find a way to make this trip be less about her and more about _them_.

He's suddenly at her side again, releasing her hand so he can wrap his arm around her waist and pull her close as they walk together down the sidewalk. Her cheeks warm at the overtly couple-like position she finds herself in, remembering being envious of others, assuming she'd never know what it feels like to have someone to call her own.

"Fine, but I prefer history _buff_ , not nerd. Liberty Bell, here we come."

Emma loses count of the number of smiles, laughs, kisses, dramatic eye rolls, and well, fun she shares with Killian over the next few hours. His excitement over seeing an old bell is something she can't quite understand, but seeing him happy, she's fully on board with that. Her feet are beginning to hurt from all of the walking, especially on the old cobblestones lining the historic area, but she doesn't dare complain, his enthusiasm to see _just one more_ site winning her over every time.

As the time draws nearer to when they need to make it back to the hotel, she begins to wonder why he's avoiding the one area she most expected him to want to visit. The Philly waterfront is known for its naval history, complete with two historical vessels you can actually board and a seaport museum. He hasn't led them anywhere near the pier so far and she hopes he isn't avoiding it out of fear of thoughts of Liam darkening their day.

"Killian, did you not want to go by the water?"

They're just exiting the famous Christ Church when she gets the nerve to ask, pulling his hand to direct him from the walkway so she can look up at him and see how he's feeling. His smile is soft as he pulls her into the circle of his arms and she's relieved at the lack of sadness in his eyes.

"Aye, but I was thinking maybe we could do that after dinner. I don't need to go on the ships, but I'd love to see them, so perhaps I can interest in you in a late night walk along the pier?"

She can't help herself from reaching up to press her thumb into his dimple, her romantic boyfriend is just so damn cute.

"That sounds perfect."

She's still smiling up at him when she finds herself being walked backwards, her back suddenly flush against the old brick surrounding the cemetery, Killian's intention clear as he begins to lean in. She should be embarrassed by this overt public display of affection, but the feel of his lips against hers is too addictive and she slides her hand around his head without reluctance to hold him close. His hands stay resting chastely on her waist as his mouth commits many sins, coaxing and devouring until her lungs begin to burn from lack of breath. Dropping her head back against the brick, she finds herself lost in his gaze, both overwhelmed yet again by their almost fierce desire for one another.

"I wonder how long this phase lasts..."

"This phase?"

"This…us, unable to keep our hands to ourselves…"

"Oh, love, I don't think this is a phase. Besides…you've yet to fully experience everything my hands can do."

She's about to respond when a loud clearing of a throat jolts them, causing him to peer over his shoulder as they both look for the source, the older couple shaking their heads at them as they pass the obvious culprits of the admonishment. She's already laughing when he looks back at her, his deep chuckle joining hers until they're both doubled over, drawing even more attention to themselves than before.

By the time they make it back to the hotel, her cheeks hurt from smiling and her heart feels lighter than ever. Not even a second of her day since she woke him has been spent thinking of the upcoming dinner and the potential stress that could arise and she looks to the man at her side, realizing once again he'd found a way to be there for her as she was trying to make the day all about him.

This must be what happens when you finally open yourself up to being loved…

* * *

 _A/N: Thank you so much to everyone who takes the time give feedback on this story. I know I say it a lot, but it really means so much. :)_


	15. hope

"Say something!"

"Something."

Arthur erupts into giggles, almost bouncing right out of the booster seat he's tucked into as his little legs flail about. Killian reaches out to steady him, happy to play babysitter as the other occupants at the table have more adult conversations.

"Say something else!"

"Something else."

This time the boy's laughter is so loud that everyone else can't help but look over, the smile on Emma's face as she looks between him and Arthur has his own growing wider at the sight of it. Her hand finds his under the table and he interlaces their fingers before he turns his attention back to the boy at his side.

"My accent is really that funny, lad?"

"Silly Killy!"

"Killy? Oh, I am so calling you that from now on."

Squeezing her fingers, he looks back over at Emma, hoping she can see the pleading look in his eyes.

"Don't you dare. You know Dave will pick that nickname up and torture me with it until the end of time."

"All the more reason to do it…Killy."

He's about to roll his eyes, but the teasing smile and lightheartedness of Emma in this moment stops him. Considering they've been with Lily and her family for over an hour now, he expects to see more of her tense smiles and reserved emotions, _her armor_ , but he doesn't. She's changing right before his very eyes and he swears he loves her even more for it.

Tugging her hand until she leans towards him, he closes the distance to press a light kiss to her lips, lingering for a moment when he tastes the hint of caramel at the corner of her mouth from her sundae.

"Oooh gross, they're kissing!"

"Arthur!"

Emma's head digs into his neck in embarrassment, but he can feel her soft laughter against his skin and he begins to laugh along with her. Untangling their fingers, he moves his arm so he can wrap her closer to his side, pressing a kiss to her temple when she finally raises her head again to look back at the rest of the table.

"Sorry guys, he's had a bit too much sugar tonight."

Lily's shaking her head at her son with a smile on her face, watching how he's already moved on to coloring the paper tablecloth with his Dad now that he's lost Killian's attention.

"Not to worry, lass, kissing was gross to all of us at that age. Luckily, we grew out of that phase."

Emma's elbow lightly jabs his ribs and he just tucks her in closer, suddenly thankful that they are on a bench instead of chairs and he can hold her against him like this.

"So, what about kids for you two?"

He feels Emma tense immediately as she straightens her spine and her hand clenches tightly against his thigh, Lily's question obviously catching her off guard. He suddenly finds himself in need of a way to save the moment before things go seriously downhill, fast.

"Maybe someday? I'm not ready to share Emma's affections quite yet, though. I can be quite a bit needy, can't I love?"

Looking over at her, he sees her take a deep breath and feels her hand relax on his thigh, hope blossoming in his chest that he's succeeded in breaking the tension. Her eyes meet his and he waggles his eyebrows at her, pulling a small laugh from her lips before she leans in to place a kiss to his cheek.

"Yeah, you're quite the handful."

He can't help it, the feel of her lips on his skin sends shockwaves through his system and he wonders if the effects of his love for her will ever fade. If he has any say in the matter, he certainly hopes not. Nudging her nose with his as she pulls back, he gets lost in her eyes for a moment, almost forgetting that anyone else is there but the two of them.

"Speaking of, I promised my love a romantic walk along the pier this evening."

"Well, we should let you two have the rest of the night to yourselves! Our little monster needs to get home to bed anyway."

Emma looks away first and he reluctantly follows, giving Lily a slightly embarrassed smile across the table. Lily, for her part, doesn't look fazed. In fact, she almost looks relieved and he has to assume that seeing Emma happy is the reason for it. The two of them have been through a lot together and despite the anger and betrayal that defined the end of their friendship years ago, acceptance and love seem to be the basis of the relationship they have both decided to forge now.

It takes a good ten minutes to pay and pry little Arthur from his coloring to wrangle him from the table, the first hints of a tantrum beginning to bubble up once they are outside on the sidewalk saying their goodbyes. Leaning down, he proceeds to make funny faces and whisper nonsensical words into Arthur's ear in his _silly accent_ until the time to bid farewell to the lad is upon him. His heart almost beats right out of his chest when Arthur's little arms reach out for a hug and he hears "bye Killy" spoken softly into his neck.

"Bye Arthur. I'll see you again soon, yeah?"

Arthur smiles as he pulls back from the hug and looks up at his Dad with a hopeful look in his eyes. Chris smiles down at his son and then over to Killian before extending his hand out amicably.

"Come back and visit anytime. It's been so great meeting you both."

Chris looks over Killian's shoulder and he turns to see what has caught the man's attention. Emma and Lily are locked in a tight embrace a few feet away, the sight causing the two men to both sigh in relief almost simultaneously.

"I wasn't sure if this was going to be a good idea, but it seems to have worked out for the best."

"Aye, we should learn to not underestimate the strength of the women we love, mate."

"Truer words have never been spoken, Killian."

* * *

With her back resting against his chest as they lean against the railing together with her listening intently as he gives a lesson in naval history, he thinks to himself that this might be his new favorite moment. As he looks out at the ships on the water, he can't help his thoughts from drifting to Liam and how much he would have loved to see this. It was Liam's tragic accident at sea with the Royal Navy that led him to follow in his footsteps and join the Navy here in the states, hoping that doing so would fulfill his brother's legacy somehow. It was only thanks to the woman in his arms that he realized that it was okay that he said goodbye to his brother's dream to live out his own destiny, that Liam would be proud of him either way. God, he would love Emma forever for that act alone. His only regret now is that Liam never had a chance to meet her, as he knows he would have loved her from the start.

"Now, the white warship over there, she's the Olympia. She's the sole survivor of all of the naval vessels used during the Spanish-American War."

"It's huge!"

" _She_ , love. She's just over 340 feet in length, an absolute, bloody marvel."

Emma's head lifts from his chest and she shifts her position to face him, wrapping her arms around his waist as she looks up at him with a smile.

"You really know a lot about this stuff, huh?"

"Aye, when I fall in love with something, I tend to dive in one hundred percent."

His hand comes up to scratch behind his ear as soon as he utters those words aloud, knowing she will sense that he isn't only speaking of his love for naval history. He only admitted his love for her yesterday, but now that the floodgates have finally been opened, his need to tell her how he feels simply cannot be stopped.

She lifts her arm from around his waist to cup his neck, her fingertips urging him to lean down and meet her upturned lips in a soft kiss. Her body sways closer as she molds herself against him and he widens his stance, keeping one hand around her waist as his fingertips wind into her windblown hair. Neither of them moves to deepen the kiss beyond what it is, a slow, soft conversation spoken with every breath shared between each gentle press of their lips. It's only when he feels a slight tremble does he pull back, fear at the sight of tears on her cheeks crawling up from deep in his belly.

"Emma, my love, what's wrong?"

Her other hand moves from his waist to cup his cheek, holding him in place from moving away from her and he searches her eyes desperately for a clue as to what is happening. When her eyelids flutter to a close and she shakes her head, his grip in her hair tightens as she leans in to rest her forehead against his. He releases a ragged breath as confusion settles in, not knowing what to say to ease whatever has come over her.

"I love you, too."

The words come out in a rush, barely more than a whisper, but his heart hears them as loud as if she has shouted them at the top of her lungs. Sliding his hand from her hair, he lifts his forehead from hers and presses his thumb against her temple, gently urging her to open her eyes. When she does, fresh tears fall to the apple of her cheeks he leans in to softly kiss them away. Breathing her name against her skin, he slowly kisses his way to her mouth, the touch of her lips against his after hearing her declaration feeling much like a permanent brand of her name across his heart.

Electricity seems to surge in the air around them as the kiss turns heated, both of them clawing at one another as everything they've been too afraid to fully feel comes pouring out in a desperate rush. Lifting her so her feet are off the ground, his mouth never leaving hers, he guides her until she's safely sitting atop the railing with her legs firmly gripping his waist. She's so warm, delicate yet strong as she clings to him, his desire for her burning brighter than ever as he feels what it truly means to be loved by Emma Swan.

Knowing he really should say something, he reluctantly draws his lips from hers, grinning slightly at the sight of her chasing his mouth.

"Emma, I'm not dreaming, am I? You really did just tell me you love me?"

Her attention moves from his lips to his eyes and she nods her head, her nerves still apparent in the shakiness of her smile.

"Yes, I thought it was about time that I admit it. You've known for a while though, haven't you?"

"I've _hoped_ , love. But hope is a powerful thing."

Her hand moves to caress his cheek and he leans into her touch, watching as her eyes turn serious and her chest lifts as she takes a deep breath. When she speaks this time, her voice is firm and strong, no hint of insecurity or fear as she repeats the words he knows he will never tire of hearing.

"I love you, Killian."

"And I, you."

* * *

They can't seem to keep their hands to themselves now that Emma has leapt successfully over this final hurdle, both of them definitely feeling a burning need to mark this new phase of their relationship in a more physical way. Her fingers resting high on his thigh during the short cab ride back to the hotel came dangerously close to turning into something else entirely inappropriate for their surroundings as his hand slowly began to inch beneath her skirt, the creamy skin of her legs on display bloody torture. The cab driver's voice telling them the fare as the car pulled up outside the valet stilled his hand from its assent, not missing Emma's eyes hot on his as he dug his wallet out of his now too tight jeans in order to pay the man and get them inside ( _as soon as possible_ ).

Hence, he's not surprised in the least to find himself in his current position, buried deep inside of her just inside the door of their room with his pants pooled around his ankles, his hands supporting her as he takes her against the wall. Her panties are hanging from one of her legs wrapped around his waist, her ankles pressing into his ass as she urges him faster, her tongue and lips hot on his throat as he leans his forehead against the cool surface of the wall by her head.

"Fuck Emma, fuck…"

He's drowning in the feel of her, tight and hot around him as he pistons his hips faster, suddenly no longer content with her lips away from his. Moving one hand from around her waist, he leans them further against the wall for support as he cups the back of her head with his hand, holding her steady as lowers his mouth back to hers. Her tongue seeks his as her hands scramble to keep hold of his shirt at his waist, the lack of any buttons still intact and the strength of her grip almost pulling the garment off his shoulders. The feel of her lace covered breasts teasing his uncovered nipples with each thrust has him groaning against her lips, his hand at her waist moving to her thigh to urge her legs up higher so he can change the angle of her hips.

"Killian, oh god, right there, don't stop….god, don't stop…"

The words come tumbling from her mouth as her head falls roughly against the wall, giving him access to suck a mark into the sensitive spot between her neck and shoulder as he tries to focus on anything but how close to the edge he is, knowing she needs just a bit more before he can let himself go.

"You feel so good, love, so good."

"Fuck, you do, too. God, I love you…"

The sound of her exclaiming those words as she writhes against him almost too much for his control to handle, his hand moving between them to knead her breast as he rocks his hips harder, faster, until he finally begins to feel the telltale fluttering of her inner muscles begin to spasm around his length. Lifting his head so he can rest his forehead against hers, he buries himself one last time, the deep contact so overwhelming that he can no longer hold back his release.

"I love you, too, Emma…so much."

One of her hands moves from around his waist to cover his own, moving it from her breast to press against her rapidly beating heart, both struggling to maintain eye contact as the pleasure of their lovemaking continues to pulse wildly between them. He has to remind himself, yet again, that this isn't one of his dreams, that Emma Swan is truly looking at him as if he's her sun and her moon and stars, no hint of fear lingering in the jade depths he's loved since the moment he clamped eyes on them.

He's reluctant to break the spell that has fallen over them, but he knows his legs won't hold out much longer if they maintain this position against the wall, the muscles in his thighs already beginning to cramp. He finds her lips for a thorough kiss, urging her to wrap her arms around his neck as he holds her by the waist, a groan escaping as their bodies disconnect and her legs slowly unwind from around his hips. As soon as her feet are back on the ground, he braces his hands beside her head on the wall, deepening the kiss as he works his feet from his pants, his desire for her far from extinguished.

He pulls his lips from hers when he feels himself on the verge of losing control, knowing she most likely needs a moment to recover before he makes love to her again, his need to see her slowly come apart beneath him burning a fire low in his belly.

"Emma, how about I draw us a hot bath? We can relax for a bit and perhaps catch our breath."

"Very romantic suggestion, Killy."

Her eyes are alight with mischief as a giggle escapes her lips, his hands moving from the wall to tickle her ribs not fast enough as she wriggles from his grasp and runs towards the bathroom. He's still standing there looking after her escape when he hears the water in the tub turn on and sees her lace bra fly from the open door into the hallway.

"Oh bloody hell, she can call me whatever she wants…"

* * *

 _A/N - Thanks for your patience on this one. I wanted to get this chapter right and I was dealing with a serious block. Emma's ILY was super important for her character arc, so it had to come at the right moment. I hope you all like it! I'd love to hear your thoughts!_


	16. home

Popping the strawberry between her lips, Emma leans back against the headboard and closes her eyes, wanting to relish every second of this last lazy breakfast in bed before they have to go back to their real lives.

"I don't want to go home."

"Aye, I have to admit, this will be hard to give up."

There's a tinge of something in Killian's voice that prompts her to look over at him, catching his slight frown as he picks at the bacon on the plate he has balanced on his thighs. They've had a perfect morning so far, waking up late, snuggling until the growling of their stomachs turned their kisses into laughter, so seeing him upset is rather unsettling. Setting her plate on the side table, she turns to face him, finally pulling his attention from his bacon when she slowly reaches up to run her fingers through his hair.

"Hey, what's up?"

His eyes that had fluttered shut at her touch open again, but he doesn't meet her gaze and she sees him force a smile of reassurance upon his lips.

"Just wishing our little vacation wasn't coming to an end, that's all."

"Killian, that's not all. What's really going on in that head of yours?"

He heaves a heavy sigh and follows her lead, moving his plate from the bed so he can turn to face her as well, both of them now mirroring one another with their cheeks resting against the cushioned headboard. Their fingertips are still slightly greasy from the bacon, but he tangles them together anyway.

The tip of his ear she can see has gone red and he's having trouble maintaining eye contact, his usual bravado nowhere in sight, making her wonder just what could possibly be making him so nervous.

"Emma, I… I'm sorry. I just, there are things that I want that I'm not sure you're ready for and I don't want move too fast, but I can't help the wanting of them."

He's still not meeting her eyes and she just can't take it anymore, him being unsure or thinking he can't talk to her about his feelings. She knows he's just looking out for her, which is incredibly sweet, but now that they've both stopped dancing around each other and embraced ( _in more ways than one_ ) what's between them, he doesn't need to tiptoe around her anymore. Besides, she has a feeling she knows what he's thinking, and if she's right, she's actually pretty on board with the idea.

"Maybe I want the same things? I won't know unless you tell me."

She wants to kiss the dent his teeth have worried into his bottom lip as he releases it from his mouth, his eyes wide as he finally looks up at her. Shuffling a bit closer until her knees are pressing against his thigh, she smiles when she sees his face relax a bit and some of the worry lines smooth out on his forehead, hoping this means he sees the lack of fear behind her eyes.

"I want _this_ , love. Holding you in my arms as we fall asleep, waking up with you every morning, kissing you being the last thing I do each night and the first thing I do when I wake. These are the things I've wanted for so long and now that I've finally experienced it, I don't know how I can go back to not having it all the time."

"So, let's not go back to not having it then."

"Emma?"

Okay, so apparently she's going to have to be the one to do this. Leaning away from the headboard, she sits up straighter and takes his other hand, pulling until he gets her intention and shuffles to fully face her on the mattress.

"You weren't wrong before, Killian. Us, our relationship, it's not new; we've been _together_ for a really long time. I'm not afraid of moving too fast, since up until now, we've been going _way_ too slow. So…I think we should move in together. My lease is up in a month and you own your place, so unless you have a strong desire to find somewhere new, I'm happy to…"

One strong tug and she's practically in his lap, his smile wide for a moment before his lips are on hers and she's scrambling to untangle their fingers so she can hold him closer. She can feel the relief in his kiss as she cups his cheeks, her thumbs settling in to his dimples as he smiles in response. His nose presses against hers as he releases her mouth, the space between their lips all that remains as he pulls her fully into his lap with his hands on her hips.

"In case that wasn't clear, Swan, I absolutely want you to move in with me."

Sliding her hands around his neck to anchor herself, she leans back so she can look into his eyes and make sure he's clear on how true her words are.

"Going home sounds a lot better now."

His smile widens as his hands circle her waist, pulling her closer until he can brush a soft kiss to the tip of her nose.

"Aye, it does."

* * *

"Oh damn, I totally forgot."

They're just parking outside of Killian's building when he breaks the comfortable silence that had fallen between them as they neared the end of their trip home, pulling her from her internal redecorating of his, or rather, _their_ bedroom.

"Forgot what?"

"I was going to take you to the Art Museum."

"Ah, someone wanted to run up those steps, huh?"

"And for the art…"

He gives her a wink as he moves to unbuckle his seatbelt and gather the trash from the cup holders. She does the same, knowing he likes to keep his car clean, in stark opposition to the coffee cup collection on display in the backseat of her bug.

"We'll make sure to make a stop next time."

He pauses to smile at her, reaching over to take the trash from her hands and add it to the bag he's already half filled.

"So, you'd like to go back for another visit?"

"Yeah, I wouldn't mind spending more time with Lily. Plus, I don't think little Arthur would survive not seeing you again…Killy."

She smiles her sweetest smile and he just rolls his eyes, but she still sees the slight tinge of red appear on the apples of his cheeks before he opens his door to step out of the car.

"Despite the new nickname, I admit to having enjoyed my time with the lad."

He's already at the back of the car unloading their bags, so she doubts he hears her response, especially since she speaks it almost under her breath.

"I know, I could tell."

It's beyond obvious to her that Killian is a kid person. He's a natural around them and she knows with absolute certainty that he will want a child of his own someday. And honestly, it would be a travesty if a man that beautiful didn't procreate. But for Emma, the idea of raising a kid scares her to death. Never having had parents of her own, she has no idea what it means to be a mom. Where would she even learn what she's supposed to do? She knows that she needs to talk to Killian about her fears, but she's afraid to break the happy bubble they've found themselves in just yet. As she exits the car to help him get the last of the bags, she can already feel the heavy weight of her thoughts begin to settle on her shoulders and she knows this conversation will have to happen sooner than later.

* * *

She wraps the towel around herself after drying off, thankful that Killian had work calls to make while she showered, allowing her time to shave her legs and condition her hair. The two of them hadn't been the best bath buddies over the last few days, tending to get distracted with _other things_ that always managed to abbreviate the actual cleansing activities. Leaning her hip against the counter, she can't help but smile as she puts her toiletries back into her side of the medicine cabinet. Moving in with him really won't be that big of a step, since she practically lives here already.

Her fingers close around the plastic case holding her birth control pills and just like that, the heaviness returns with a vengeance. Now that they've stopped using condoms, her pills are the only thing stopping her from getting pregnant. Looking up from container, she takes a long look in the mirror at herself, knowing in her heart that she has to talk to Killian before they have sex again. She's just popped this evening's pill from the foil when she hears him shuffle into the bedroom and she decides that now's as good a time as any, especially since she doubts they'll be able to keep their hands to themselves much longer this evening. She swallows the pill down with a big glass of water, her mouth suddenly feeling dry as her nerves try to get the better of her.

"Killian, can you come in here?"

"Be right there, love."

When he appears behind her a moment later, he's stripped down to just his boxer briefs and they both take a moment to appreciate one another in the mirror. He doesn't give her time to turn around as he cages her against the counter with his arms, his groin pressing deliciously against her backside as he runs his nose lightly up the side of her neck.

"You smell heavenly…"

His lips close over her earlobe and a moan escapes unbidden from her lips, all thoughts of the conversation she had planned to have beginning to fall away at his touch. It's only when she feels his hand move from the counter and slide up her thigh beneath her towel does she snap out of it, knowing things are leading in a very obvious direction, one she's more than willing to follow _after_ they talk.

"Wait…"

She feels his hand stop its progression and she looks up to the mirror, smiling when they lock eyes to quell the concerned look on his face. His arms fall from the counter and she takes the opportunity to turn and face him, hopping up to sit before reaching out to pull him back towards her until he's standing between her knees. Hooking her fingers into the waistband of his boxers at his waist, she plays with the material for a moment, knowing she's stalling but still unsure as to how to begin. As expected, he doesn't let her get away with it.

"Emma, what's going on?"

Looking up at him, she just blurts out the first thing that comes to her mind.

"You want a kid."

"What?"

His eyes go comically wide and she swears the color drops completely out of his face at her declaration, making her realize how that must have sounded.

"Not _now_ , but someday, you want to have a kid someday."

He releases a heavy breath and gives the top of her thighs a tiny squeeze before circling his hands around her waist, leaning in to give her forehead a gentle kiss. When he pulls back, she releases a deep breath of her own when she sees the small smile on his lips and the understanding warmth behind his eyes. He knows already where this conversation is going, she can tell.

"Yes, Emma, I've always hoped that _one day_ I'd have a child of my own, I won't lie about that. I can see by the look on your face, though, that perhaps you aren't quite as sure of your own thoughts on the matter?"

"No, I mean, yeah, I don't know what I want. The idea is pretty terrifying, actually."

"What about it is so scary?"

She knows that he already knows the answer to this question, but she also knows that he needs to hear it so he can help her through it.

"That I won't be a good mom... How can I be when I never had one?"

Her throat is already beginning to close with emotion and she closes her eyes, the sudden press of his forehead against hers and the tightening of his arms around her waist the only thing keeping her from falling completely apart.

"I think it all comes down to love, Emma. If you make room in your heart for a child, you find a way to figure the rest of it out. As someone you've let into that beautiful heart of yours, I know the capacity for love you have inside. There's plenty of room in there to love a child if you decide you want one."

He punctuates the perfection of his words with a lingering kiss, slowly sliding his lips against hers as she clings to his waist, completely overwhelmed as the whole of his love for her continues to build the strength within her. She's reminded of his save during dinner the other night and she pulls her lips from his, hoping to bring the moment to a slightly lighter place.

"I thought you weren't ready to share my affections just yet?"

She sees the second it takes before he registers the tease in her voice before the wicked curve of his lips and the quirk of his eyebrow take over his face.

"Oh, I'm not. Not even close."

With that, his mouth descends on her collarbone, his lips and tongue working a slow line towards the hollow of her throat as she leans her head back against the mirror.

"So you're okay…oh god…" She tries to form words, but damn, he's making it really difficult. Reaching up, she pries his head away from her chest until his heavy lidded eyes meet her own.

"You're okay with me not knowing what I want?"

His eyes turn serious and his hands move from her waist to cup her cheeks, his thumbs pressing lightly against her temples as he looks at her intently.

"I love you, Emma, so of course I'm okay with it. That being said, if you do decide that you want a child, _someday in the future_ , I do hope it will be with me. Because, love, when I dream of having a family of my own, I can only imagine that life with you."

"Of course it will be with you…"

It's a blur of lips and hands after that as they move to devour one another, desperation for him clawing at her as she strokes his tongue with hers, her legs winding around his waist to drag him towards her as she scoots forward on the counter. The knot in her towel loosens with their almost frantic need to be closer and she feels it fall open at her side, his hands quick to pull it free and toss it out of the way. She moans against his lips when her already erect nipples brush against the hair on his chest and god, if she doesn't feel his tongue there soon she might just go out of her mind. Her body arches of his own accord as he runs his palms up her sides to cup her breasts, his lips releasing hers to slide to her neck as she leans back against the mirror once again.

"So bloody beautiful…"

Her hands wind into the thick strands of his hair as his mouth descends on her breast, his tongue working her peak as his other hand applies gentle pressure to the inside of her thigh, urging her legs to part further on the counter. The knowledge of his intention and the hot flick of his eyes up at her have her belly quivering in anticipation, her need for him stronger than ever after their emotionally charged conversation. His eyes stay on her as he moves to his knees, his lips feather light against her stomach as he slowly makes his way to where she's throbbing for him.

"Hold on, love."

She tightens her fingers in his hair just as he takes her into his mouth, his lips sucking and tongue swirling around her with abandon, obviously in tune with how far along she already is. He has to hold her thigh against the counter when she begins to rock against his mouth, the hand not in his hair turning white from her grip on the side of the sink as she tries to maintain her balance. She can't think, can barely breathe, her entire focus centered on the press of his tongue as everything begins to tighten and her legs start to shake.

"Killian!"

She doesn't even realize she's shouted his name, as her entire core is pulsing and sparking, his lips soft against her as he works her back to reality with a gentleness completely at odds with how he began. Releasing her grip in his hair, she hopes she hasn't hurt him as she lost complete control of her body during his ministrations, not realizing just how tightly she had dug in. His eyes meet hers from his position between her legs and he presses one last kiss to her hipbone before leveraging himself back to his feet as she tries to sit up straight, finding it difficult with her muscles still pliant from her orgasm.

She hears his chuckle through the ringing in her ears as he gathers her close again, the tangy taste of her lingering on his tongue, the intensity of his devotion making her feel lightheaded as he kisses her, long and deep. Knowing he must be aching with need, she ruts her hips forward, pulling a gasp from his lips when her warmth makes contact with his the hard length of him straining against his boxer briefs.

"Let me…"

His forehead falls heavy against hers as she slides her hand beneath his waistband to grip him, keeping her strokes gentle when she feels how hard he already is, knowing he won't want her to bring him to completion with her hand. His lips fall open when she brushes her fingers over the tip and groans her name as she strokes him just a bit faster, his forehead pressing even harder against hers as he begins to rock against her hand.

"Bed, Emma…please…"

The desperation in his voice is a clear signal of how close he is to succumbing to her touch and she slowly extracts her hand, allowing herself a quick moment to run the backs of her fingers along his abdomen before wrapping her arms around his neck and tucking her chin on his shoulder next to his ear.

"Take me to bed… _our_ bed."

She barely has time to get her legs around his waist before he's lifting her from the counter and turning her towards the bedroom, the muscles in his back rippling as she watches him carry her the short distance to the bed in the mirror. He sets her down on the edge of the mattress and she shuffles back, keeping her eyes on him as he finally pushes his boxer briefs down his legs and bares himself fully to her. He's leaning over her in mere moments, coaxing his tongue between her lips as he settles between her legs, working them both back into a frenzy with his mouth and his hips as he rocks his length against her warm and overly ready core.

She can feel herself building to a second climax already and she doesn't want to reach it like this, knowing that he's close enough that the moment he's inside of her, she can trigger them both.

"Killian, now…please…"

He lifts his head so he can look down at her and she sees as much desperation as she feels, his blue eyes darkened to almost black and sweat beading his forehead as he forces himself to still the movement of his hips. Widening her thighs, her mouth falls open as he lines himself up at her entrance and pushes slowly between her already clenching walls, his eyes never leaving hers as he finds his home deep inside her welcoming body. Her hands reach blindly for him and end up clinging to his neck as he pulls almost all the way back out before thrusting back in, the friction setting her off and him collapsing against her as she throbs around him, his groans vibrating against her neck as he crests against her waves. Not caring that his weight is making it harder for her to catch her breath, she refuses to loosen her grip on his neck, needing just a few more minutes of his chest against her breasts as her heartbeat falls into perfect sync with the man she loves.

* * *

 _A/N: I hope everyone has been enjoying this journey so far. It's been fun writing a fic that's more about the realization and fulfillment of a great love that already existed, as opposed to the meet and build of a new relationship. As a writer, exploring this dynamic has been really interesting and eye-opening. I always love to hear your thoughts, so please don't hesitate to review. I think there's only a chapter or two left of this (for now) so please hang in there for a bit longer with me._


	17. love at first fight

_So, I have been dying to write this and well, I did. Instead of the next actual chapter (which I am still working on), here's the story of how Killian and Emma met 6 years ago. I just HAD to..._

* * *

"You're such a party pooper."

"Sorry, Ruby, my sexy Snow White costume was in the wash."

"Oh come on, they don't even make that one. Besides, you'd make a much better Rapunzel, anyway."

Emma rolls her eyes at her leggy friend, who, of course is rocking her own sultry take on Red Riding Hood, her long red cape worn open at the front to reveal her tiny black leather mini-skirt and bustier. This look is nothing new for Ruby though, never one to need a reason to dress sexy ( _or in head-to-toe leather_ ). Emma doesn't mean to be a downer, not really, she just never had a chance to do this whole Halloween thing as a kid and she can't help but feel like she's about 15 years late to the party. It's only due to Ruby's endless begging to go with her to this haunted trail ( _where Ruby's crush is supposedly playing Frankenstein somewhere inside_ ) that she finds herself in this unfamiliar situation. Besides, it's not like she could say no after she heard it was a fundraiser for the local Veterans Hospital ( _why couldn't they just do a bake sale, she loves cupcakes_ ). The least she can do, for herself and Ruby, is try to make the best of it.

"Ok, I'll give you that one. The Tangled version anyway, she was kinda badass."

"That's the spirit!"

Ruby hooks her arm around Emma's elbow to lead her to the entrance to the trail, somehow managing to not fall flat on her face in her red stiletto boots as they weave their way through a small patch of forest. Emma almost rolls her ankle on a tree branch, crunching the wood in half beneath the heel of her much more sensible boot in the process. As she catches herself from falling against a nearby tree, she spots the broken branch and gets a silly idea, deciding that maybe she can get into the Halloween spirit after all.

"Here, now I'm in costume."

"Uh, who are you supposed to be?"

Emma shakes the _slightly_ pointy stick in her hand towards Ruby before placing both hands on her hips, rolling her neck just enough to give her ponytail a silly twirl. She thinks that with her skinny jeans and red leather jacket, she maybe can pull this off as an actual costume.

"Buffy!"

Ruby's laughter echoes through the trees as she pulls Emma into a tight hug, nearly lifting her off her feet with the force of it.

"Oh my God, I love you, Emma."

"You know me, never one to play the damsel in distress. Now, can we get this over with already?"

Ruby drops her arms from around Emma's waist, but clutches her hand ( _the one without the makeshift stake_ ) and begins to pull her the rest of the way through the woods.

"C'mon… But hey, there are probably going to be people dressed as vamps in there, so no slaying allowed."

"I'm not making any promises."

The ticket taker is a girl Emma vaguely remembers meeting name Lena or something like that, her bright turquoise eyes looking somewhat diabolical thanks to the green makeup covering every inch of her skin. Usually witch costumes aren't all that scary, but she's got to give it to her, she's pretty frightening.

"Great costume."

"What costume?" Punctuating her response with a wicked curl of her lips, Lena turns back to the line to greet the next group of guests.

"Ohhhhkay, so, the actors are taking this thing a bit too seriously, I see."

"Rock on, that'll make this even more fun. Let's do this."

Ruby's eyes are alight with mischief as she leads the way deeper into the woods and Emma just hopes that none of these actors try to touch her, cause if they do, they will undoubtedly live to regret it.

Things are relatively quiet at first and Emma knows it's just a trick to lure the guests into a false sense of security. Her suspicions are proven true when she spies the mummy hiding behind the tree up ahead, but she keeps her mouth shut so Ruby can get the first scare. The anticipation of the moment is more fun than she could have imagined, even if Ruby's resulting piercing scream might have just broken her ear drum. Ruby appears at her side again after this, gripping her elbow like a lifeline as they both laugh at the ridiculousness of it all.

When the werewolf comes crashing through the woods towards them, they both stop dead in their tracks, fear creeping up Emma's neck without her consent despite the knowledge that it's just someone from the hospital in _pretty damn good_ makeup. Whoever it is stays in the trees, never actually crossing their path, giving them a moment to break into a sprint and make their escape.

When they're sure the group behind them has become the next prey, they stop to catch their breath, standing back to back so no new creature can sneak up on them from behind.

"Why did you want to do this again?"

Ruby laughs, but there is definitely less confidence in her voice when she finally has the breath to respond. "I have no idea!"

"Okay Rubs, time to put our big girl panties on and stop being wusses. You ready?"

She can feel Ruby nod against her neck and they both turn forward again, ready to face the next obstacle head on. If Emma grips the stake in her hand a bit tighter as they begin to walk forward again, no one but her has to know. Thankfully, chainsaw wielding hockey mask guy is more annoying than scary, the roaring of the saw ( _minus the actual chain_ ) proving that perhaps Emma's ear drum is still intact after all. They dodge a few zombies as they reach a bend in the trail, their costumes looking like something out of an old fairytale or something, not the modern Walking Dead zombies she's grown accustomed to. As they make the turn she sees a pile of mannequins dressed up in the same odd costumes, obviously meant to look like a pile of corpses, but they'd obviously had trouble putting makeup over the dark red lips and painted on eyelashes.

What happens next is not one of Emma's finer moments, but in hindsight, just might end up being her most significant. She senses something moving in the corner of her eye as they pass the pile and well, instinct just kicks ( _or punches_ ) in. Her fist is flying before she can even think, followed by a pained grunt and a crash as someone falls back into the pile of limbs.

"Emma, what the fuck? You just punched that guy!"

Emma looks down at her hands, suddenly thankful that she acted with her fist and not the pointed branch, not really believing what has just occurred. Dropping the stake, she scrambles into the pile of mannequins, grabbing the arm she can tell is from a live human to help the unfortunate actor who just met her knuckles with his face.

"I…oh God…I am so sorry! Are you ok?"

"Bloody hell…I knew something like this was going to happen…"

She sees his thick dark hair first as he emerges and lifts his head, his grip firm in hers as he uses her as leverage to try and sit up in the sea of mannequins. She knows she should be paying attention to his nose ( _which she's probably broken_ ), but she's never seen eyes this blue before and he's staring at her as if she's some long lost love and not the crazy woman who just knocked him off his feet.

"Uh…yeah…I'm fine, lass. Might need a minute down here though, you pack quite the wallop."

His words are rolling around his tongue like butter on a hot steak, the deep timbre of his voice combined with that accent sending a shiver up her spine, which for the first time tonight has nothing to do with fear. Unaccustomed to feeling such intense attraction to someone so quickly, she finds herself completely tongue tied as her brain tries to catch up with her hormones.

"As much as I am enjoying holding your hand, love, I think it's safe to let go now."

The sauciness behind that comment does two things, jars her out of her lustful stupor and has her releasing his hand with a quickness akin to dropping a lit match before it burns. She's been burnt too many times before to welcome another smooth talker into her life, no matter how ridiculously attractive he may be.

"I was just trying to help."

"Considering you just knocked me unconscious, it's the least you could do."

He's on his knees now, brushing the leaves off his hands and shirt, some peasant style thing gaping open at the chest ( _which he's obviously left unbuttoned on purpose, considering the amount of chest hair on display_ ). She sees a few drops of blood on the lapel and she can't help but feel a bit guilty, almost reaching out again when she sees him try to move to his feet. But wait, did he just say unconscious?

"Okay, so maybe you have a concussion or something, but I definitely did _not_ knock you out just now."

"Alas, you did love. But perhaps we should just say that I fell head over heels for you. Sounds better for my ego..."

And…she's done. If all he's going to do is flirt with her, she'll leave him to his own devices.

"Oh, for the love… Ruby, let's go, he can take care of himself."

Looking around she realizes that Ruby is nowhere in sight. What the hell?

"Seems as though you've been abandoned, love."

She whips her head back over at him at that, his unfortunate choice of words stinging in ways he never could have imagined. The flirtatious smile on his lips falters suddenly, a flash of something passing behind his eyes as he moves a step closer and reaches out a hand in her direction.

"Your hand, love, its cut…let me help you."

Breaking his gaze, she looks down at her hand, seeing for the first time that one of her knuckles is in fact bleeding from a small cut. She must have hit him even harder than she realized.

"Not your love and I can take care of myself."

"I'm sure you can, love…eh, well, if you'd tell me your name I'd be more than happy to use it."

She can hear the defeat in his voice and when she looks back up at him she sees it as well, her _don't fuck with me_ demeanor obviously having succeeded in shutting down his attempts at flirtation. A drop of blood falls from his nose to his lip and she cringes, suddenly embarrassed at herself for being such a bitch considering she's the one in the wrong here. He's probably just trying to cover up his own embarrassment with bravado, considering a woman did just take him down with one punch. Taking a deep breath, she decides that maybe it's time to start over and give this guy the benefit of the doubt.

"Emma, my name's Emma."

She can see his shoulders relax slightly at her introduction and he tentatively reaches his hand towards her again.

"Well, Emma, I'd say it's lovely to meet you, but my broken nose might disagree. I'm Killian, by the way."

It's hard to ignore the tingle that runs beneath her skin when their hands touch again, but she does her best, only allowing herself a quick second to meet his eyes as she sends him a quick smile before letting go.

"Emma! Is he okay?"

Ruby's stumbling down the path towards her with a blonde guy dressed as a mad scientist in tow, his look of utter confusion causing a slight giggle to escape Emma's lips. A low chuckle from her side has her realizing Killian has moved much closer and she looks up to find him equally amused at the couple coming to a halt in front of them.

"Ruby, where did you go?"

"I went to find Victor. He's a doctor! I was looking for Frankenstein though, so it took me a while."

Victor heaves a heavy sigh of frustration as he drops Ruby's hand so he can hold up the bone saw with the fake blood dripping from the dulled blades.

"I told you, Ruby, I _am_ Frankenstein. Doctor Frankenstein."

"I know, I know…anyway... I thought we might need him and looking at the shape of his nose, I think I was right."

"Hey Vic."

"Hey Killian. Yeah, looks like you need to get that set. You should probably go take care of that pretty soon."

Emma drops her head in defeat, refusing to look over at the man whose night ( _and nose_ ) she has managed to ruin thanks to her violent reflexes.

"Good idea, mate. Unfortunately, Nolan's my ride and I have absolutely no idea where he is. Have you seen him?"

"Undoubtedly, he's wherever Mary Margaret is, but they haven't crossed my path yet tonight."

"Emma can take you!"

Snapping her gaze from her shoes to Ruby's _oh so innocent_ face, Emma's jaw drops at her friend's completely ridiculous suggestion.

"What? Me?"

"Yeah, I can get a ride home with Victor later. I'm sure…um, whoever this guy is, would appreciate it."

"My name's Killian, love. Emma, don't worry about it, I'll find my way to the hospital on my own."

Emma's glare at Ruby softens slightly at the tone of Killian's voice, a tinge of sadness breaking through the confidence in a way that feels entirely too familiar. Ruby's eyes widen as she juts her head dramatically in Killian's direction, and Emma shoots daggers back over, knowing she's been bested and has no choice but to help this guy out.

"No, I'll take you. It's the least I can do."

Killian's hand not covering his nose is scratching idly behind his ear as he looks over at her, taking her in as if he can't quite figure her out. _She can't honestly blame him._

"You don't have to, really."

"Actually I do. So, if you're done protesting, can we go?"

His hand drops from his head at that and keeping his eyes on her, he lowers his head in a silly half bow of acquiescence, a dashing grin taking over his too handsome face.

"As you wish."

Shaking her head, she grabs him by the elbow to drag him after her, not even sparing a glance back at Ruby as they make their way down the path towards the entrance. She knows all too well the knowing look she would have been met with and doesn't want to give her _oh so dead_ friend the satisfaction.

"So, Killian, any chance you know a back way out of this stupid trail? I'd rather avoid the chainsaw and the werewolf if at all possible."

"Unfortunately, no. Not to worry, you've got me to protect you."

Emma stops and drops his elbow, stepping back so she can raise her eyebrow at him before pointedly looking from his nose down to her fist and back again. His eyes follow hers and it takes him less than a second to catch on, his deep laugh ending on a wince as his nose protests the abrupt movement.

"Point taken. We'll get through this together, yeah?"

He extends his elbow again, flashing a smile that's friendlier than expected, no hint of flirtation or innuendo to be found. Deciding to take a chance, she threads her arm through his and returns his smile before turning to look upon the path that lies ahead.

"Together."


	18. housewarming

"Honey, I'm home!"

"Oh Sweetie-Pie, how I've missed you, so…"

He'd know that sarcasm anywhere.

"Hey Ruby."

"Jones."

Emma is nowhere to be seen as he enters the living room, just Ruby, who's currently sitting cross-legged at the foot of his couch drinking one of his beers.

"Where's Emma?"

"Just bringing up the last load from the car. I'm surprised you didn't see her?"

"Must have crossed elevators, should I go give her a hand?"

"Nah, there was just one small box left. She should be back up here any second."

Crossing to the fridge, he pulls out a beer for himself and smiles when he sees Emma's food mingling with his, her wine and his beer ( _which she drinks just as often as he does_ ) nestled neatly beside each other on the bottom shelf. It's taken a full week to get her fully moved in with his work schedule and her taking on a new case, but thanks to sporadic trips and helpful friends, the last box in Emma's arms will signal the end of one era and the beginning of the next. _They are actually living together now._ This is real and it's happening and it's everything he's ever wanted. The head rush he was giving himself whenever he stopped and tried to process the last few weeks caused him to stop overanalyzing and just go with the flow, even if the flow resembles something of a tidal wave.

"Killian?"

The sound of Emma's voice from the hallway jars him from his thoughts and he sets down his beer, his 12 hour shift too long, leaving him desperately in need of, well, many things. Peeking around the corner from the kitchen, he smiles his brightest smile at her slightly confused face from the doorway.

"Ah, there she is…"

Her hair is pulled high in a ponytail with tendrils escaping at her neck and temple, sweat beading on her forehead and a smudge of something on her cheek, none of that making her look anything short of stunning. He's unabashedly besotted with this woman. Moving forward, he pulls the small box from her hands and sets it on the floor, stepping fully into her personal space as he straightens and winds his hand around the nape of her neck.

"Welcome home, love."

His lips are on hers before she has a chance to reply. Like a man who's gone without water for days, he drinks her in, the force of his kiss prompting her to grip the front of his shirt just to stay upright. He chuckles against her lips as she gasps for breath, forcing him to reluctantly release her lips and lean in to kiss her smudged cheek.

"Damn…"

"Sorry Swan, got a little carried away there. I may have missed you a little."

Her fingers still gripping his shirt move to lightly pinch his chest and he recoils, noting the challenging curve of her eyebrow as he leans down to pick up the abandoned box.

"Just a little?"

"A lot, a whole lot."

"Oh God, you two are nauseating!"

Meeting Emma's smile with his own, he ushers her down the hallway ahead of him and back to the living room where their amorous hello left Ruby abandoned and annoyed.

Emma plops down on the couch and spreads her arms wide along the back, obviously tired from the last of the move, before gently nudging Ruby's head with her knee.

"Yeah, we know. But you love it."

Ruby rolls her eyes, but he hears her mumbled "I plead the fifth" against the top of her bottle before she drains the last of her beer.

Looking down at her empty bottle, Ruby looks over to Emma before shifting her smirk over to Killian.

"I was promised pizza."

Emma turns her head from her reclined position on the couch to Killian as well, giving him her most innocent smile, which he returns with a shake of his head.

"And beer, apparently. What do you want yours, Ruby?"

"Carnivore here, so as long as there's lots of meat, I'm good."

Killian watches as Emma pushes herself slowly off the couch and trudges to the doorway of the kitchen where he's holding up the menu for the Italian place around the corner.

"Hey, you know what I like. Mind keeping Ruby company while I hop in the shower? I feel like I'm coated in 5 layers of sweat and dust."

Unable to resist, he looks her up and down and comically crinkles his nose before nodding.

"I was going to say something about that, but you know me, always a gentleman."

"Remind me why I love you again?"

"Oh, that could take a long time, love…."

Emma rolls her eyes and turns back towards the hallway, stopping long enough to peel her sweaty shirt off and toss it over her head from the doorway of the bathroom, muffling his laugh as the fabric hits him square in the face. _(she's got quite good aim)_

Killian calls in the pizza order, making sure to order the Mega Meat Deluxe for Ruby, before grabbing another beer and joining her back in the living room. She's moved to the couch now and is thumbing through a photo album of Emma's, one he knows is full of shots of all of their friends from the white water rafting trip they all went on a few summers ago.

"Thanks again for helping Emma today. We both really appreciate it."

She takes the new beer from him and leans the neck towards his, clinking a cheers before taking a big swig and turning back to the photo album on her lap.

"So, how's marital bliss?"

"Oh God, don't say that around Emma. She might up and bolt on me."

"Trust me, I won't. But seriously, how are things?"

"So far, it's been great. We've both had really crazy schedules this week, but knowing she's going to be here every night has been, well, all I've wanted for so long."

He takes a sip of his beer and looks away, hoping to mask the blush he knows he can feel creeping up his neck at this overtly honest admission. It's impossible to hide much from Ruby anyway, her keen senses always keeping her one step ahead of most of their friends.

"Emma said pretty much the same thing. I'm pulling for you two, you know. You both deserve this, to be happy together."

"Thanks Rubs. I'm pulling for us, too."

* * *

Ruby leaves an hour later, protesting that she just can't deal with their doey-eyed looks one second longer, inviting them both to the bar this weekend if they can pry themselves away from each other long enough. Considering they both have the next two days off work, Killian has to laugh as he begins to wonder if he'll have the willpower to share Emma with anyone, proving Ruby right again.

Leaving Emma to finish putting the plates in the dishwasher, he heads into the bedroom to retrieve the small wrapped gift he's been hiding in his drawer just waiting to be given until now that she's finally fully moved in. He has absolutely no idea of how she will react to this and he sends up a silent wish that she won't completely freak out.

Holding the gift behind his back, he joins her once again in the kitchen, lounging casually against the doorway as she pours herself a glass of wine. Having let her hair air dry from her shower, a few curls now frame her face as the rest flows down her back in gentle waves, stopping just before the curve of her spine at the small of her back. Her tank top and leggings she changed in to after her shower fit her like a second skin, making every muscle in his body tense as he holds himself back from crossing over and scooping her into his arms.

"Do you have any idea of how lovely you are?"

Looking over her shoulder at him, she shakes her head as a shy smile curves her lips before turning back to re-cork the bottle and place it back in the refrigerator. Her smile is still in place as she steps forward, wine glass in hand as she leans in to press a kiss to his lips, her silent way of saying thank you for his compliment. As much as he enjoys when Emma speaks of her feelings, he can't rightly complain about her propensity to respond in more physical ways, especially now, with her nipples hardening against his chest as he holds her against him and deepens the kiss. Her free hand slides beneath his shirt as she grips his waist, releasing a low moan as his tongue curls around hers and his fingers seek out the still damp depths of her hair. Wishing he had both hands free, he moves forward until she's backed against the counter and he can set her gift down behind her out of sight and reaches for her wine glass, removing it from the mix as well before he pounces.

He can't decide where he wants to touch her first, but settles for her waist as his hand in her hair curls around her tresses and pulls back slightly to expose her neck more fully to his wandering lips. She sighs when his tongue tastes the soft skin beneath her jaw, her hands winding into his hair as he begins to trace a path to her ear, nipping lightly at her before beginning his torture of her favorite spot behind her earlobe.

"Oh God…Ruby's right, we can't keep our hands to ourselves."

Nodding his agreement against her neck, he extracts his hand from her hair to join his other at her waist, urging her to wrap her legs around his hips as he lifts her up onto the counter.

"What's this?"

His brain's a bit lust fogged and it takes him a few seconds to register that she's spoken, his eyes widening when he lifts his head from her neck and sees her holding the gift he'd already forgotten about in her hand. Groaning internally at himself and his ability to get distracted by her so easily, he realizes that he must have just set her right on top of it.

"Ah, that…just a little housewarming present."

The smile that takes over her face has his heart swelling in his chest as he eases his hands from her hips to lightly grip her waist, giving it a little squeeze as she fiddles with the ribbon adorning the gift with her fingers.

"Seriously? You didn't have to. That's really sweet."

"You might want to open it before you say that, love."

Raising a questioning eyebrow, she looks down at the package and tears through the paper, revealing the back of a picture frame that she takes an agonizingly long time to turn around. When she does, he knows he's in for it.

"OH MY GOD! What? How?"

She won't look him in the eye, her knuckles straining from her fierce grip of the frame as she stares incredulously at what he's placed behind the glass.

" _Someone_ was a little handsy that night, Swan, and left a little souvenir in my back pocket."

Lowering the frame to her lap, she finally looks up at him, his plastered on smile hoping to quell the embarrassment that is clear as day on her face.

"You knew, all this time? Why didn't you say anything?"

Reaching out, he gently cups her cheek, softly running the pad of his thumb along her skin as he keeps his eyes locked on her in hopes that she won't look away.

"Honestly, I didn't want to chance screwing up what was happening between us. I was afraid if you knew that I knew, you'd back off out of embarrassment. I couldn't risk giving you a reason to run."

"Oh…well…"

"Please don't be sorry that I know, Emma. It was finding that slip of paper that gave me the courage to come see you the next morning. You changed everything that night and I need you to know that in my mind, you're the reason we are where we are now. I love you all the more for having the strength I didn't, for finding a way to take that first step to get us out of the self-imposed rut we'd been in for six years."

"I wouldn't call it a rut, exactly."

"You know what I mean."

Her eyes drop from his momentarily as she looks back down at the frame, but her hand reaches up to cover his on her cheek, threading her fingers between his before moving their joined hands to cover her heart.

"I know."

His fingers flex against hers as he feels the fast beat of her heart beneath his palm and he leans in to press a light kiss to her forehead before pulling back to bestow her with a goofy grin.

"Any regrets over missing your chance to make out with Victor?"

"Now that you mention it…"

"Oi!"

Reaching out with his free hand, he gives her ribs a poke, making sure to find the ticklish spot on her side that always makes her squeal.

The frame almost crashes to the floor as they proceed to try and out tickle each other, his fingers catching it at the last second as he dodges away from her legs and out of her reach. Keeping his distance, he watches as she lowers herself to the floor, tears escaping the corners of her eyes from her laughter as she clutches her side and tries to catch her breath.

"So, where were you expecting to hang that thing? I don't want any more of our friends finding out the truth."

"Any more? Who?"

"Who do you think?"

"Ah, of course…Ruby."

"Bingo."

Hoping that she might be done with her tickle torture, he reaches his hand towards her and waits until she tangles her fingers with his to pull her to his side.

"I already have the perfect place in mind. If you'll come with me…"

She gives him a questioning look, but allows herself to be pulled along with him to their front closet, which he opens with a grand flourish before bowing and gesturing for her to enter.

"After you, love."

"The coat closet?"

"Aye, if you'll look to the right of the door, you'll see I've already prepared the wall for this to be mounted on." Passing the frame over to her, he waits as she lines it up over the pre-set nail before stepping in beside her to watch her center and push it into place.

"I don't expect many of our friends to see it there, unless one of our parties goes down _that_ route again."

Turning, she looks up at him from beneath her lashes before stepping around him to the door, her wrist brushing his groin as she passes him in the tight space. He realizes the graze was intentional when she grabs the handle and pulls the door shut behind her back, pulling him by the waistband of his jeans until he's pressed flush against her in the now darkened closet.

"What _route_ might you be referring to, Captain?"

"Oh, is someone interested in another 7 minutes?"

"If you think you can last that long…"

Thankful he knows her body so well that he doesn't need to be able to see her, his hand finds the curve of her ass and hauls her forward, successfully digging his already growing erection firmly between her thighs.

"Oh, you know me, love, always up for a challenge."

"Shut up and kiss me."

Their lips find each other almost simultaneously, both on a mission to completely devour and stoke the fire that has erupted between them as their hands seek out skin beneath their layers of clothes. His shirt gets caught around his neck as she tries to wrench it over his head, finally coming loose when he releases her mouth, only to dive back in the second the material is freed from its confines. Lifting her shirt just high enough to reveal her breasts, he places his hand behind her back as he presses his now bared chest against her, reveling in the feel of the lace abrading his nipples as he leans them both against the door at her back.

Swallowing her cries of pleasure with his tongue, he slides his hands beneath her leggings to cup her ass, the heat of her center scorching him through the thin material as he grinds against her with vigor. Her lips pull from his as her head falls back against the door, her hands gripping his shoulders as she lifts one leg around waist and begins to rock her hips in rhythm with his.

"Fuck, Killian…right there…"

Dropping his forehead against hers, he groans as each slide against her hardens him further beneath his jeans, the friction almost painful as her breaths come out in quick puffs against his lips. Her moans of pleasure more than making up for any discomfort, he grinds a bit harder, wanting to give her the ending she missed out on the first time they found themselves in this situation. Moving a hand from inside her leggings, he grips her leg around his waist to keep her steady as he feels her begin to vibrate against him, her hands at his waist digging into his skin as the tension in her core breaks and her cries of release echo in the closet around them.

"What was that about lasting 7…?"

Her fingers popping the button and sliding down the zipper of his jeans silences his taunt, feeling her leg drop back to the floor as she straightens herself and pushes her body off the door. He releases a heavy breath as her hand finds its way beneath his boxers, her fingers barely brushing his length as she guides him by the waist to switch positions until he's the one with his back against the door.

"We weren't talking about me."

"Aye, love, we were not. Do your worst…"

Feeling her hand finally grip him in earnest, he realizes he'll be lucky if he lasts at all, the warmth of her palm already sending him teetering to the edge of oblivion. She releases him long enough to push his pants and boxers down his thighs, resuming her stroking of him as she stands, her free hand sliding up his chest to wrap around his neck. Surrendering completely, he welcomes her tongue as it seeks entrance between his lips and desperately tries to keep up with her kiss as her hand continues its sweet torture between his legs. Needing an anchor, he buries one hand in her hair as the other pulls at her waistband, blindly seeking beneath the fabric for her warmth with his fingers and groaning against her lips as he slides against her center with his thumb. Feeling her hot and wet for him, he's overtaken with the desire to find his release inside of her instead of at her expert hands, as pleasurable as the current option is proving to be.

Turning his hand, he presses down with his palm until she releases his lips on a moan, her hand suddenly releasing him to grip his hip as he successfully turns the tables yet again. Untangling his hand from her hair and the other from her pants, he hooks his fingers into her waistband and begins to push the material down her legs, stopping to suck one of her lace covered nipples between his lips as she steps out of the pants before standing back up and pulling her flush against him.

"My fantasies of how this moment should have ended usually have me buried inside of you, Swan. Care to indulge me?"

Her hands come up to his chest and she gives him a gentle push, just enough to give her space reach up and tug the chain beneath the light bulb over their heads, casting them both in a gentle glow as the halogen bulb slowly comes to life. He has to blink a few times as his eyes adjust, but when she comes into clear focus she's already pulled her shirt over her head and is in the process of unclasping her bra. She's a bloody vision and he nearly trips, thanks to his pants still trapping him at his knees, as he tries to move towards her. They both pause to laugh for a brief moment, not long enough to break the spell but enough time to share a smile before he's wrenching his pants the rest of the way down his legs. Finally free of any further impediment, he gathers her against him once again, the warmth of her everywhere they touch causing him to feel somewhat lightheaded as they lose themselves in a somewhat sloppy, heated kiss.

The lack of room in the closet provides few options for how this can work, so he maneuvers her back against the door, turning her at the waist with his hands until her breasts are pressed against the wood and his length is cradled against her ass. They both groan simultaneously at the contact and her hips arch backwards, causing him to shift his grip to her thigh to still her before her movements take him past the point of no return. Taking himself in hand, he nudges her legs farther apart until the tip of him slides against her entrance, her readiness welcoming him as she angles her hips just enough to allow him to sheath himself inside of her.

"Oh fuck, so tight like this…fuck…"

His chest falls against her back when she begins to rock her hips and he snakes his hand around her until her breast fills his palm, gentle moans escaping her lips as he pinches her nipple and rolls it beneath his fingertips. Thankful she's bracing herself against the door with her hands, he picks up the pace of his thrusts, her insistent moans and mumbled curses urging him to slam home harder as near blinding pleasure builds in his groin. Releasing her breast, he moves his fingers to where they are joined, circling and pressing against her with urgency as he feels himself begin to swell inside of her. Unable to hold back, he continues to work her with his fingers as he comes, finally collapsing against her when she cries out, her release almost taking him to his knees as she tightens around his still pulsing length.

"Oh god…my legs…feel like jelly…"

Wrapping an arm around her waist, he places his other hand against the door beside hers, taking some of her weight as she leans back into him on a deep sigh. Between deep breaths he places hot kisses along her neck, whispering his love for her against her ear as they both try to come back to the present.

"So, how did that match up to _your_ fantasy, love?"

"Who says I had one?"

Rubbing his scruff against her neck, he leans them both further into the wood, pulling a surprised moan from her lips as he lightly grinds his hips against her once more.

"I was there, remember?" His memories of her dreaming of him the morning after their first dalliance in the closet is forever branded in his brain, and he'll be damned if she even tries to deny it.

Thankfully, she doesn't.

"Yours was better."

* * *

 _A/N - It was so much fun writing the reveal of her finding out that Killian knew about the switch at the beginning of the story. And yes, writing the smutty version of the closet makeout was equally as fun. ;) As always, your reviews are always so awesome to read. I really think we've got one chapter left of this, so thanks for reading and sticking with this story!_


	19. happy ending

_Swan: your shift ends at 6, right?_

 _Jones: aye, will you be home when I get there?_

 _Swan: yep, case closed. Planning on ordering pizza._

 _Jones: have I mentioned how much I love you today?_

 _Swan: nope, but it's always good to hear_

 _Swan: love you, too_

 _Jones: ;) break's over, gotta run. see you tonight_

Realizing she's smiling like an idiot at her phone, Emma pushes off the couch and stretches her legs, her muscles still a bit sore from working too long with Belle hunched over their laptops. Killian had already left for work by the time she had made it home, leaving her with just his side of the bed and the faint hint of his spicy aftershave on his pillow as comfort as she slipped into a deep slumber.

Since rousing just after 2pm, she's downed almost an entire pot of coffee and has been practicing the conversation she knows she needs to have with him tonight now that she's finally clear on what she wants. It's not fear of him not agreeing with her, but more, that he will agree outright without really thinking it through. His tendency to put her happiness before his, while sweet, isn't how they should decide on this. They need to do it together, weigh the pros and cons and talk through the realities of what it will mean for both of them. Not that she's looking to move forward _yet_. They've only been living together for 7 months, 2 weeks and 3 days ( _not that she's counting_ ) and she's nowhere near ready, but that doesn't mean that they shouldn't talk about how they envision their future, _together_.

She spends the next few hours gathering her research, printing info she's found online to add to the packet tucked away in her knapsack, knowing Killian's methodical and organized brain will appreciate her thoroughness. Right on time, the phone rings and she buzzes Joe in, being on a first name basis with their pizza guy something she secretly loves. Waiting in the doorway with his cash, she waves as he exits the elevator, the spicy aroma of the homemade marina and pepperoni preceding him down the hall.

"Hey Joe."

"Hiya Emma, good to see you!"

"Yeah, it's been a while. Well, a week, but, whatever."

Joe chuckles as he shuffles the pizza box into her hands, palming the cash she hands him and stuffing it rather ungracefully in his jacket pocket.

"I'm no one to judge. I practically live on Mama's pizza. Tell Killian I said hello, will ya?"

"Hey, mate!"

Nearly dropping the pizza at the sound of Killian's voice booming from the elevator, Emma watches as Joe sprints back down the hall so the two men can shake hands before giving her a wave and ducking into the elevator Killian has held open for him.

"Impeccable timing, Captain."

Killian makes his way to her in a few long strides, dropping his backpack at her feet so he can cup her cheeks, his lips feather soft against hers for a brief moment before he changes his mind and she finds herself pressed against the doorjamb, almost dropping the pizza for the second time in less than 2 minutes. Her free hand grips the collar of his t-shirt as his tongue plunders her mouth, stealing her breath and her senses simultaneously as his kisses have the tendency to do. Despite having settled into a comfortable domesticity, their passion for one another has yet to wane, leaving no surface of the apartment un-christened ( _except this doorway, but she's not really into public sex_ ).

He finally takes a breath and she loosens her grip on his shirt, pressing her palm against his chest as she leans away from him before he can go back in for a second assault. As much as she's enjoying this, her palm is on fire from the pizza box and she'd really like to stop giving their neighbor across the hall a free show.

"I missed you, love."

She chuckles before reaching up to trace the scar on his cheek with her thumb, loving the way he leans in to her touch as if he can never get enough of being close to her.

"I can tell."

Turning his head to press a quick kiss to the inside of her wrist, he steps back to pick up his bag and take the pizza from her hands, nodding his head towards the door in silent request for her to lead the way inside. He follows her into the kitchen after tossing his bag on their bed, his hand already pushing the pizza box open in search of a slice.

"Hey! Wait for me."

"Sorry, I'm starving and it smells so good…"

"You don't have to wait long. If you haven't noticed, I've already set the table. Just need to grab the beers and we can eat."

He turns his head to their small breakfast nook in the corner and his eyes widen in surprise, the space not often used for eating, their couch and coffee table usually home to most of their meals.

"What's the occasion, Swan?"

The butterflies in her stomach take a nosedive at his question, making her wish she hadn't made a fuss over dinner, an obvious tip off that something must be up.

"Just thought we'd eat like civilized adults for once, that's all."

His eyebrow lifts and his chin does that dip thing that tells her he knows there's more to the story, but he doesn't push, at least not yet. After loading their plates with pizza and depositing the box on the counter, he joins her at the table, giving her a ridiculous smile as he makes a show of placing his paper napkin daintily across his lap. She tries not to laugh, she really does, but he's impossible and her beer barely makes it down her throat before she loses it. _She loves him so much._

The pizza's too good, both of them inhaling their first piece in record time before either of them even attempt to start a conversation. He finishes his first and leans back in his chair, looking all too smug after having won what he apparently had deemed an unspoken competition.

"So, you said case closed in your text. Does that mean you found the lad's parents, then?"

Nodding, she takes a swig of her beer before swatting his hand away from her plate as he tries to steal her crust.

"Found his Mom. She had no idea the adoption records had been lost and had assumed he didn't want to know her. He's on a plane to Shreveport as we speak."

Lifting his beer, he tips the neck in her direction with a wide smile.

"Cheers to a happy ending, Swan."

Popping the bottle from her lips, she meets him halfway and smiles at the clink of glass against glass.

"It feels good to have helped facilitate that one."

"I'm sure the lad thinks of you as his own personal hero."

"I wouldn't go that far…"

"Regardless, you did good, Swan. I'm proud of you."

Her cheeks burn a bit at his words, even after years of friendship hearing him say things like this still sometimes catch her off guard, his open affection something she's still learning to reciprocate.

"Thanks…"

His hand covers hers on her bottle and she shifts her gaze from her plate to his eyes and sees the question there, her latest case having hit a bit too close to him, she can tell that he wants to make sure that she's okay. It's in this moment that she knows she's ready.

Threading her fingers through his, she sets their joined hands down on the table between them and takes a deep breath, feeling his fingers tighten around hers as he looks at her in wait.

"I wanted to talk with you about something."

"I gathered as much, love. What is it? Is everything alright?"

The concern in his voice has her thoughts speeding up in her head, wanting to get everything out to set his mind at ease, and hers as well.

"I'm fine. I, well, I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about us and our future. You know that I've been trying to decide where I stand on the whole kids thing and I've, well, I know what I want."

Leaning forward in his chair, his elbows come to rest on either side of his plate as his other hand reaches out for her free one, their fingers interlacing as she sees him try to hide the nervousness from showing on his face.

"Emma…"

"Wait, let me… Here's the thing. I see the way your face lights up the second you see the Face Time request come through from Arthur. You're meant to be a Dad, Killian. And I realized this last time, while I watched you make him laugh and play games, I need to see you do that with our child one day. I want to have a family, _with you_. I can't let my fear hold me back from what I want anymore. I've done that too many times in my life and I refuse to do it with you."

He's gone still, but she sees the glossiness of his eyes and the slight quiver of his lower lip he's holding firmly between his teeth. Obviously overcome with emotion, he gives her hands a squeeze as he fights to find his composure, giving up a few seconds later as he rises to his feet and walks around the table to pull her into a hug. He buries his head in her shoulder as he holds her close, his hands warm and soothing on her back as she clings to him just as tight, feeling the first knot in her stomach release at the happiness of his reaction.

Pulling back just enough to rest his forehead against hers, he speaks softly, almost as if he's afraid to break the perfection of the moment.

"Nothing would make me happier, Emma, you have to know…"

"I know, Killian, I do."

He leans in, attempting to close the distance and capture her lips, but she stops him with a gentle finger. Determined to not get sidetracked, she needs to get to work on that second knot, _the tighter one_.

"There's more."

"More? What, you want twins? A whole brood? I'm happy to oblige, love…"

"No, well, not exactly."

He leans back from her at that, but keeps a firm hold of her waist, his thumbs pressing lightly at the small of her back as he waits for her to elaborate. Clinging to his biceps as an anchor, she looks him in the eye and lets everything out in a rush, knowing that if he interrupts her she may not say all she needs to.

"You know what it was like for me growing up. Being shuffled from foster family to group home, just to watch the younger kids get adopted until I finally realized I was too old and no one would ever want me. I know there are a lot of kids out there just like me, dreaming every night for someone to love them, for a family of their own. I know it's a huge thing to ask, but I was hoping that maybe you'd be willing to just _think_ about maybe fostering a child with me? An older child, maybe make one of their dreams come true?"

She sees his smile briefly before his lips are on hers, soft and sweet, answering her question in a way she's quite familiar. He lingers for a few moments before moving to the corner of her mouth, leaving a light peck there before pressing his cheek against hers so he can whisper in her ear.

"I love you, Emma Swan. Of course I will."

Pulling back abruptly, she cups his cheeks with her palms, forcing him to keep her gaze as her tone turns serious.

"Killian, this is a big decision, there's a lot we need to discuss."

"I know, and we will. You asked me to _think_ about it, remember? I would love to think about it with you, weigh the pros and cons and see if it would work for us. It's obviously important to you, love, so it's important to me."

Dropping her hands to his shoulders on a deep breath, she shakes her head lightly at him with a smile, unbelieving at how perfect he's being about all of this. Perhaps she needs to stop assuming the worst all the time?

"I love you, too, Killian Jones."

As expected, they do spend a few hours on the couch going through all of the information she's gathered, many of his questions she'd already thought to ask of the family counselor she knows through work. He's unabashedly impressed at the legwork she's done already and she can see him getting excited at the idea. They still have a lot to talk about, their work schedules being a big one, as a teenager from the system will need structure if they're going to make it work. Agreeing to sleep on it for a few days and talk about it again this weekend, she leaves him to organize the paperwork while she clears the dishes they'd left on the table.

"You know, I'm not advocating for this, kids, any time soon, right?"

The plate in her hand drops the short distance to the sink as he appears out of nowhere and snakes his hands around her waist.

"Not ready to share me quite yet, Swan?"

"Don't flatter yourself…"

She could continue to evade, but his hands creeping up inside of her tank top and the warmth of him pressed against her backside are making it difficult, the light drag of his teeth along her neck her complete undoing. Resting her head on his shoulder, she bends slightly at the waist, pulling a groan from his lips as she reaches behind him and slides her hands into his back pockets.

"You know, love, when we do have kids, we'll be forced to keep our more amorous activities confined to the bedroom."

Punctuating that statement with a roll of his hips and an almost rough grab of her breast, she catches on to his meaning rather quickly, want swirling in her belly as she imagines all of the possibilities that lie ahead.

"We should probably take advantage of our current options while we can then, huh?"

His hand not on her breast slides beneath the waistband of her pajama pants, making her oh so thankful she never changed after waking up this afternoon.

"My thoughts exactly…"

Her hands grip his ass at the first slide of his finger against her beneath her panties, his groan stifled by his mouth sucking a mark behind her ear as his other hand seeks the taught nipple beneath her bra. It's almost too much, pleasure coursing through her from so many points on her body that she can't seem to focus, her moans escaping louder as he palms her center and gently teases her with his fingers.

"Yeah…oh fuck, we definitely can't do _this_ …with kids around…oh god…."

Releasing her neck with a wet pop, his mouth finds her earlobe, sucking the soft skin between his lips before whispering what he really desires in a hot breath against her ear.

"I'd rather be inside of you on our _grown up_ table than pressed up against the sink."

Extracting her hands from his pockets, she places her hand around his wrist, stilling his fingers from his teasing long enough for her to turn and face him. Reaching up to trace his bottom lip with her thumb, swollen and warm from his attentions, she moves to suck it between her teeth, catching him off guard as he stumbles and has to steady himself with his hands on the counter by her waist. Keeping his mouth busy with her own, she works at unbuttoning his jeans and lowering the zipper, leaving the material hanging from his hips as she gives his abdomen a gentle shove.

"Lose the pants and meet me over there."

He looks a bit dazed as he watches her cross to the table, her pants and tank top littering the kitchen floor in her wake. She's leaning against the edge of the wood unclasping her bra when he finally moves, his pants and boxer shorts landing in a pool at his feet as he rips his shirt over his head, leaving him bare and beautiful all for her. After shimmying out of her panties, she crooks her finger at him and doesn't have to wait long before his arms are at her waist lifting her to sit on the table, his hands urging her to circle his hips with her ankles. ( _she's so glad they opted for a table with a sturdy base_ )

He's thick and hard against her center, one shift of his hips and he'd be inside of her, but he waits, instead threading his finger through her hair as he pulls her mouth to his, devouring her with unrestrained passion. Using the space between their bodies to her advantage, she revels in the feel of him, seeking and exploring the warmth of his skin beneath the coarse hair of his chest with her fingertips. His kiss falters as she tweaks his nipples with her thumbs, lips parting on a deep moan as she presses harder, his hips beginning to rock against her of their own accord.

"Bloody hell…I'm trying to take my time…"

His actions belie his words, however, as he leans into her touch, his hands sliding from her hair and down her sides to grip her hips.

"Take your time later, I need you now."

Heeding her request, he slides into her warmth in one deep stroke, her surprised cry of pleasure mingling with his deep groan as his hips fall firmly into the cradle of her thighs. His desire for her evident with how tight she feels around him, his length filling and stretching her as he begins to move his hips against hers in shallow thrusts. Moving her hands to the edge of the table, she crosses her ankles behind his back, locking eyes with him as she lifts her hips just enough to find the angle she needs. His next thrust hits her just right and she cries out, signaling him to pick up the pace, the table beneath them undoubtedly leaving marks against the wall each time they come together.

"Right there, oh god, harder….almost…"

His hand at her hips moves to her center, his thumb pressing down as he thrusts harder, the combination of sensations triggering the first spasms at her core as her nerve endings spark and her legs fall from around his waist. His arms are around her in a flash, holding her tight against his chest as he chases his climax, her inner muscles clinging to him as he thrusts deep and hard, his forehead collapsing against her shoulder when he finally stills inside of her and finds his release.

"Emma...I…bloody hell, that was…"

Still not recovered enough to talk and the sweat of their bodies making it hard for her maintain her grip on his back, she moves her arms to around his neck, seeking his lips with her own for a breathless kiss. His arms tighten around her and they lose themselves in the feel of each other, bodies pliant and warm, sated yet both already feeling the tug of desire sparking again from that place deep inside where they are always burning for one another. They do, _eventually_ , make it to their bed, where she lets him take it slow, sleep a long time coming for them both as they make love until the early morning hours.

As he's curling around her on the edge of slumber, his chin comes to rest on her shoulder, his hand blindly seeking hers beneath the covers. When he speaks, it's barely a whisper, but her heart sings loudly at his softly spoken declaration.

"You're _my_ happy ending, Emma."

"You're mine, too."

* * *

 _A/N: As you may have guessed, there is more of this story I really hope to tell. I'm marking the story as complete, but expect an epilogue at some point and revisits in the future. Writing this has been a true learning experience for me as a writer and I can't thank everyone enough for the support you've given me along the way. Every review has meant so much and I will cherish every word._


	20. the epilogue

"Thanks, Ruby, we'll call you when everything's settled and you can bring her back home."

Ruby gives him a slow wink before turning to give him access to the tiny head of blonde curls resting on her shoulder, the muffled snores he hears as he leans in for a kiss blossoming deep in his heart. Hope doesn't stir at the brush of his lips to her forehead, his daughter even less of a morning person than the beautiful woman she takes after still sleeping soundly down the hall in their bedroom.

Closing the door quietly behind Ruby, he takes a moment to look around, knowing in a few hours this home will be forever changed ( _for the better_ ). Narrowly avoiding snapping the ladder off of Hope's favorite fire truck with his foot, he maneuvers around the chaos to stand before their bookshelf and gaze upon the photos of his life, his family, his everything.

The majority of the frames are filled with Hope, all dimpled cheeks and blonde ringlets, blue eyes and alabaster skin, this tiny person who somehow managed to get all the best parts of them both ( _but mostly Emma_ ). It was just over two and a half years ago that Emma had called him into the bathroom, the pregnancy test trembling in her fingers and tiny smile upon her lips, telling him through her tears that he was going to be a father. His happiness since that day has only grown exponentially, each moment with Emma and Hope teaching him that his capacity to love is boundless, always expanding and open for more.

His fingers trace Emma's smile, wide and bright and so full of love shining back at him from the photo in the middle. They're posed in front of the Court House, both dressed in jeans and leather jackets with a single rose as her bouquet. Hope is at sitting at their feet, tiny hands latched to his legs, a Daddy's girl through and through. Marriage was something they had both wanted, but hadn't prioritized; content to be the family they were while knowing that someday the time would be right. The social worker telling them that married couples have an easier time working the system changed everything and three hours later they were hitched, their friends cheering them on from the benches with Hope resting on Emma's hip. It wasn't grand, or planned, but it was perfect.

Reaching up, he pulls the wrapped package he's been hiding at the top of the bookcase and as quietly as possible removes it from the tissue paper. It takes him a few moments to rearrange, but finds the perfect place for this new addition, right in the center where it belongs.

Done with the last of his tasks for the morning, he makes his way back to Emma, planning to wake her with his plans for their morning alone. From the golden hair in disarray upon her pillow down to her long leg peeking out from the blankets, he can't help the deep pull in his belly as he takes her in, this beautiful creature who's blessed every moment she's been in his life. He loves her more today than yesterday and will love her even more tomorrow.

Crawling back beneath the covers, he leans on his side facing her, content to wake her slowly with his fingertips as they brush along the curve of her breast. The material of her tank top is thin enough for him to see her nipples tightening, the taught buds blossoming beneath in response to his touch. Her lips fall open as his hand slides beneath the fabric, the first pinch of his fingers prompting her eyelashes to flutter as slumber begins to fade. Wanting her to wake to the feel of his mouth, he captures her nipple between his lips, her skin sleep warm and soft against his tongue pulling a groan from deep in his throat that vibrates against her breast. Sliding his hand beneath her back, he holds her close as her body comes to life, her hands finding their way into his hair as her chest rises in welcome to his worship.

"Killian…"

He will never tire of hearing his name spoken on a moan from this woman's lips, the heavy breaths that follow urging him forward as he moves to kiss his way up, slowly suckling her skin until his mouth is hovering just over hers.

"Good morning, Swan."

Her eyes open at his words, desire and the last edges of sleep evident as she smiles, her hands still tangled in his hair pulling him down until her lips are firmly molded to his. It's one of those kisses that immediately fogs his brain, each determined curl of her tongue and the tiny sounds she releases when they break to breathe all shifting the power until she's in complete control. His body aches to connect, and he's suddenly all hands and legs, gripping fiercely at her waist as he begins to rock his arousal against her thigh. When her ankle curves around his knee, he rolls until he's settled firmly atop her, reluctantly releasing her mouth so he can focus on removing her tank.

She's flushed and dewy with sweat as she looks up at him, the pink tip of her tongue peeking out to run along her lower lip as her fingernails dance along his back. The words she whispers barely audible as he pulls the fabric over her head.

"Do we have time?"

Keeping his eyes locked on hers, he presses his chest against her bared breasts, answering her question as he runs his hands up her arms to link his fingers through hers above her head.

"Aye, Ruby picked up Hope a few minutes ago. I thought I'd surprise you with a morning alone before our big afternoon."

Groaning loudly as her legs suddenly wrap around his hips, he grinds his erection hard against her center as she arches her back in an apparent show of her approval. Their hands tighten as the chase for friction begins, each grind of his hips and nip of his teeth against her jaw pulling desperate noises from the back of her throat. Reveling in their ability to not hold back, no little ears on the other side of their too thin walls, he does all he can to keep her vocal. Releasing one of her hands, he rakes his fingers down her side until his palm brushes against the satin of her panties, the red ones she had tortured him with as she had crawled into bed the night before. Shifting his body until he's straddling her thigh, he runs the pads of his fingers just beneath the waistband, teasing until he can feel the muscles of her abdomen begin to flex in frustration.

The cry she expels when he finally seeks out her center is all he was hoping for, allowing him to finally reclaim her mouth as she writhes against his hand. He nips at her lips as his fingers curl and stroke, her arousal warm and welcoming as he brings her to the edge and back again.

"Fuck, you're so wet for me, so intoxicating..."

Her free hand seeks out his hip, pushing with earnest at the waistband of his pajama pants keeping him from being bare to her.

"Pants off…now!"

Chuckling against her lips, he circles her with his thumb once more before shifting to his knees so he can slide her panties down her legs. It's a blur of legs and hands as she wrestles for control, with her finally relieving him from the offending flannel and him settled back between her thighs. Their laughs turn to moans as he presses against her center, her readiness helping as he slides deep, her inner walls tightening around him. They don't hold back in their lovemaking, each thrust of his hips meeting the rise of her own, lips and hands seeking and claiming until he's panting against her throat. As his control begins to slip he follows the urging pull of her hands on his waist and flips them so she's straddling his hips, leaving himself at her mercy as her ride brings her to completion. He holds her waist to keep himself sheathed as he pumps his hips upwards, chasing his release until he collapses against the mattress, her body and his melting into a sweaty, sated tangle of limbs.

The lie there together for a while longer, with Emma's head resting on her hands on his chest and his fingers toying with the hair falling over her shoulder. Her eyes meet his and he smiles, happy they could have this time together but even happier to see the excitement on her face for what's to come. They'd battled her worries with Hope, nights of silence as her fears took over until she broke and sought out the comfort of his arms and the truth from his lips. Together, they got her through it. And she's been bloody brilliant, a natural. He knows she ready to do it again, even with the knowledge that it may be more challenging than before.

"Good thinking this morning, Captain."

"My intentions were less than honorable, I assure you."

"I noticed."

His laugh jolts her hips against his and she lets out a small whine, their still joined bodies too worn out for a second round. Giving his chest a small kiss, he feels the loss of her warmth as she gently lifts herself from his waist and shimmies to the edge of the bed. She pulls on his hand as she steps off the mattress, mumbling something about their shower as she walks across the room. His legs still feel somewhat like jelly as he stands, but he follows her to the bathroom, more than happy to prolong their lazy morning as long as she will allow.

* * *

"Stop primping, you look fine."

"I'm not primping, love, merely refining, there's a difference."

Giving himself one last look in the mirror, he takes a deep breath, suddenly nervous for the first time today. He can't help but wish for Liam to see him like this, all grown up and responsible, a father and a husband. Imaging his large hand patting him on the back and the huge grin that would take over his face, he knows in his heart that his brother would be proud and so incredibly happy to see the man that he has become. He looks forward to the day that he can tell his children all about their Uncle, the man who taught him everything he knows.

Stepping out of the bathroom and into the living room, he spies Emma standing over by the bookshelf. Her eyes meet his and he sees the tears threatening to fall, her hand reaching in silent request for him to join her. He crosses to her side and threads his fingers through hers, bringing their joined hands to his lips as she turns to face him.

"I thought it might be nice to get a new frame…for a new family portrait."

"I love you, Killian Jones, so much."

"And I, you, Emma Swan."

They both turn at the sound, three solid knocks on their door signaling the beginning of the next phase of their life. He lets Emma lead, knowing the importance of this day for her, a closing of a chapter for her as she continues to write her own story.

He stands behind her as she opens the door, meeting the welcoming smile of their social worker first and then, the bushy brown head of the boy standing in front of her.

Emma kneels until they're face to face; slowly reaching out her hand with what he can only imagine is her most beautiful smile.

"Welcome home, Henry."

* * *

 ** _A/N - Thanks again for your amazing responses to this fic from the beginning. I would love to hear your thoughts on the end!_**


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